channo Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I have only been married for a year and a half...but now don't feel in love with my wife anymore. Is this pretty normal in the early years of marriage? I keep thinking of leaving, and I don't feel fear of being alone or getting lonely. Anyways...any insight would be greatly appreciated. Link to comment
Dako Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 How long did you know her before marriage? Link to comment
easyguy Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I wish the best of luck to you on your marriage. Even love does not always last forever, such as the passing of one season to another. Link to comment
Confusedlove Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 how does she feel about you? are you afraid of hurting her? Link to comment
Atticus90 Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Are the reasons valid? Bored with her? Imagin this.. "if i dumped her, how would i feel.. would i be upset" and that should answer your question Link to comment
kevinm Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Marriage can drastically change a relationship. If only being married for such a short time, my guess would be that you feel some sort of loss from your former lifestyle. Examine yourself, your life, the changes that have occurred, and why those changes took place and you will find your answer. Sometimes the answer may be simply being able to spend time persuing your individual interests. So many folks spend every minute with their partner together.... while that works for some, many folks need a little "me time" also. -Kevin Link to comment
tangi39 Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Hmm.. maybe you just don't like the feeling of being settled & it really has nothing to do with your wife ? Maybe marriage itself is not quite what you thought ? It's hard to say without knowing more details- but here is what I suggest. Think about what has changed for YOU since marriage- I really don't think it's about your wife b/c if you had no feelings for her or didn't love her- why would you have married her ? The first few years of marriage can be hard- and more because of the realization of what it really is instead of the fantasy. But I would recommend before you just leave- seeking marriage counseling- try to make it work or figure out if you can save it before you just leave. You owe your wife that much. Don't be one of those guys who just leaves and leaves his wife wondering what happened- at least talk to her & try if you can. A lot of times people see a problem in themself and displace it onto their spouse thinking they will be better alone- sometimes they are sometimes not. Find out what is going on with YOU first. Walking out sounds easy but actually doing it might cause you more pain than you think. And no matter what, even if you do leave- trust me- it is not going to solve all your problems. Loving someone is more than just good feelings, it can be hard work - but you made this choice- so put in the work. Your wife deserves at least an effort on your part. Good luck ! Link to comment
tori_black Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Consider the possibility that maybe you're caught up in the thought that marriage changes a relationship and that your view on marriage might put pressure on you. My definition of marriage is that you know that the person you're with can and will be your partner for life. Sometimes he or she can only accompany you for a while, but that doesn't mean that that person wasn't a good partner, because you learned from him/her and she/he from you. Maybe this you're in a place where the pressure you believe marriage generally put on people outweighs the love you feel for your wife. That doesn't mean you don't love her, it just means that the way you love her has changed. What do, or did you love about her? Why did you marry her? How does she make you feel? Link to comment
StretchGee Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 I have only been married for a year and a half...but now don't feel in love with my wife anymore. Is this pretty normal in the early years of marriage? I keep thinking of leaving, and I don't feel fear of being alone or getting lonely. Anyways...any insight would be greatly appreciated. No. At the year and a half mark it is not normal. Usually around 7 years (the seven year itch). Do you communicate well? Are you friends? Do you argue or do you tend to bury your differences? As others said, love doesn’t just vanish but is usually obscured by other issues. Link to comment
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