dating a non-virgin...feeling guilty

[sleepygirl]

I have been dating a guy for about three months. I am not going to have sex until I am married and I clearly stated this to him. When I told him, he seemed respectful of this. However, sometimes we go further than I want to go when we're making out (not sex or touching in that area). It's probably nothing bad, but I think I just am a very guilty-feeling person! I told him I wanted to take things slowly. I am just afraid that one thing will lead to another...to another. I'm probably just paranoid. I was brought up with strict morals and WILL stick to the no sex before marriage, but I think he wants to know how far I will go (without having sex). I know he has had sex before and this bothers me. I do know that there aren't many virgins out there anymore. I am debating what I should do...continue to date him or not? Do I tell him that things can't go beyond a certain physical level and then see if he respects that? Am I worrying too much? He seems to be great in all other areas!

[Killasasparilla]

I think you should probably tell him when you are feeling like you're going a bit too far.

[cichlid]

As someone who is probably going to be in the same boat, I would say to stick with it. If he doesn't like it, then he can leave on his own. I would tell him that you feel like things are going a bit too far, too fast. If he truly likes you then he should understand.

[Diablo7000]

from a guy in the same situation but backwards... soo i've been dating my girl a lil over a month, and i asked her and she said no i am a virgin and im waiting till marriage, and she asked if i was i was like no but i regret it (and i do) {cause it was wrong, and horrible lol} but i was like is that going to change things between us and she said no and has totally over looked it and i'm respectful of her disicion, i wanna wait also but there are times where i get the urge but if i touch her sumwhere she doesnt wanna b or thinks we are going tofar, she'll say no and i'll stop, but i know her limits so i've stopped doing that stuff that makes her uneasy, as a non virgin it is kinda hard to control the urges cause you've done it before and you kno what u want to happen between each other but, you have to control it if the opposite doesn't want it.... she is verry faithful to me and loves me to death and ALWAYS constantly texts me or calls me, but not to the point where im like leave me alone, lol we see each other on weekends because of school and stuff but if he's a good guy, and you tell him no you don't like it, he should respect it and not do it again... just tell him how you feel about it, and if he is wanting more and you want let him and he leaves, it was for the best cause it wasn't what you wanted, soo i know where you are at in the opposite perspective, DO NOT feel like you have to go farther just to keep the relationship together if you have morals and want to stick to them, do it he can wait, or find sumone else.. end of story =)

[valiantv]

Not sure what you're feeling guilty about - going to far or not going far enough?

 

I suppose he's just going to have to accept it... But you should tell him clearly how strongly you feel about the whole thing and let him know you're not going to change your mind. He's probably hoping you'll get caught up in the passion of it, or maybe he's getting caught up in the passion of it.

[yeawutever]

As long as he respects you and doesn't pressure you with it then you can continue dating him.

[sleepygirl]

Thank you for all your input. It greatly helps. I guess I just need to be honest about things and if he doesn't like it, too bad! I don't want to scare him away, but at the same time, I have to do what I feel comfortable with.