frenzie Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Hi guys, i am new to enotalone but have been reading alot of threads. My gf broke up with me about 7 weeks ago and i am seriously struggling with depression. it was a very serious relationship and now that i look back i always did suffer from slight depression and this drained her. she issues also didnt help as seeing her down in the dumps made me feel even worse. i talked to her in person about 2 weeks ago and explained what i was goin thru and how i am so sorry that it affected her like this. ii was unaware of what was happening as it was a long distance relationship and she also had many issues of her own so instead of looking at my self for the problem i just blamed what was easy. i told her that i dont blame her for getting rid of me and that i didnt deserve her. she said there may be a chance for us in the future and that she would like to stay friends. i then called her a few days ago and she was very bitter towards me and even somewhat resentful. it hurts so much knowing that she now resents me. i am scared that she will always resent me. The truth is we both had our part in it ending but i blamed myself entirely and told her this. She is now moving on very well and doing alot of positive things. i am very happy for her. i am stuck in a hole that seems to be getting deeper and deeper. i pretty much just lay in bed all day dwelling on all the things i did to end the relationship.
Killasasparilla Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 It looks like you put yourself down a lot. Think of some positive things man.
frenzie Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 It looks like you put yourself down a lot. Think of some positive things man. Yeah i normally don't so much but have been alot lately. I just keep making mistakes and pushing her further and further away. i am not sure how much more i can take of this. i feel so useless and everything i do just drowns me deeper and deeper.
Killasasparilla Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 If she's the reason you're so depressed, you may want to avoid her for a while.
wiser Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 You're dwelling on the past and all of your negative behaviors instead of looking forward and getting yourself healed. Not a good thing. You dont say how long the relationship was, but its time to get moving. One suggeston...write down all of the things you did that were "negative", and make another list of the "postive" things. Do it on a spread sheet or something. It will get it out of your head, and when you compare the lists you might be surprised to see that they are move even than you think. And dont worry about how she feels. Its over, she lives far away, you will probably fall completely out of touch with her, and you will both move on with your own separate lives.
frenzie Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 Yeah thats a good point and thats what i am in the process of doing. its easy to avoid her as she lives 3 hours away. i just hope she doesn't hate me.
frenzie Posted December 11, 2007 Author Posted December 11, 2007 You're dwelling on the past and all of your negative behaviors instead of looking forward and getting yourself healed. Not a good thing. You dont say how long the relationship was, but its time to get moving. One suggeston...write down all of the things you did that were "negative", and make another list of the "postive" things. Do it on a spread sheet or something. It will get it out of your head, and when you compare the lists you might be surprised to see that they are move even than you think. And dont worry about how she feels. Its over, she lives far away, you will probably fall completely out of touch with her, and you will both move on with your own separate lives. Thanks. The spreadsheet thing is a good idea. The thing is i want her back badly and when i look at all the variables it seems so hopeless and that is also what is keeping me down. we were together for just over a year. we connected like i have never experienced before, and neither has she. we had a future planned together and all of that.
wiser Posted December 11, 2007 Posted December 11, 2007 Thanks. The spreadsheet thing is a good idea. The thing is i want her back badly and when i look at all the variables it seems so hopeless and that is also what is keeping me down. we were together for just over a year. we connected like i have never experienced before, and neither has she. we had a future planned together and all of that. The spreadsheet idea isnt meant for listing ways to get her back. It's to get those relentless thoughts out of your head and onto paper where you can more objectively view them. She's probably gone. Everyone who is together thinks about the future. More often than not, it doesnt work out that way.
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