Men vs Boys

[alcide]

I have this old habit, which i never had i don't know if its a bad thing or if that could mess up my self esteem.

 

I am very nice with people and like making friends, but all the male friends i've been meeting so far they normally want more than a friend.

 

Honestly, i dont want another man, seriously i havent seen one man apart from my ex amd my bf i want an d love. Presently i have like five different fellow i have lunch with on afternoon different dates.

 

Buts its nothng we keet it as friends, only thing is have lunch talk and go back to wrk, we do nothing not even a hand shake. I don't know if i should stop being around with them for it could bring a bad impression on me. All they are is nothing but friends. I don't spend no time with them outside wrk or anything like that.

[ghost69]

you have a bf? wth do you need new male friends for then?

[jettison]

It was hard to make sense of your post. However, I'm guessing that you have a boyfriend, and you're now asking the board if it's ok that you have lunch dates with several different men/coworkers. These men are merely friends, however. You don't want to give anyone the wrong impression.

 

I have no idea where the "men" vs. "boys" debate comes in play. Personally, I think that's an overused tool that women use to conveniently label people and put them on a shelf. A person may act either responsible or irresponsible however.

 

Regarding your lunch dates, if you're friends with a man then have lunch with him. No problem.

[love4life]

It sounds like these man-boys (or whatever you're alluding to in your title) are co-workers. Having lunch with people you work with (men or women) is a good way to maintain a likeable reputation within the company. Afterall, you have a relationship with these men just as you do anyone you interact with.

 

As long as there's no flirting going on and you keep things primarily professional mixed with some casual "How's your personal life?" talk then I don't see a problem.

[beauty21]

There is nothing wrong with having male friends. If you have a bf and you know these male friends like you, then it is not cool to still have lunch with them.

[keenan]

It sounds like you're worried about getting a bad reputation because you have lunch with so many men.

 

It's fine to be polite and friendly with co-workers. If you're worried about giving the wrong impression, it might be good to do two things: First, make sure you have some female friends at work, as well as male friends. Eat lunch with the women, too! Second, when you're with your male co-workers, simply be careful about remaining professional. It's easy to be friendly without flirting--just don't cross the line so that you give the impression that you want to be romantically involved.

[Pegasus]

I've red this post like 3 times already and I still don't get what you're saying or what does the title has with the body of the message. It would be ok if I would be drunk but I haven't drink for weeks so there's something else wrong here

[keenan]

I've red this post like 3 times already and I still don't get what you're saying or what does the title has with the body of the message. It would be ok if I would be drunk but I haven't drink for weeks so there's something else wrong here

 

I think she's using the label "men" to describe guys that she dates, but "boys" to describe guys who are just friends.

 

It's probably an English slang issue.

 

Other than that, I think she wants to know if she'll get a bad reputation at work if she indulges her "old habit" of being friendly with guys...in this case, by having lunch with different male friends. This is because in the past, when she's been friends with guys, they've ended up wanting more than friendship.

 

I'm not sure where the self-esteem piece comes in. Maybe she's saying that if she gets a bad reputation she'll start to feel badly about herself.