Confusion

[skold12]

Hi all, I need some other veiwpoint on a event that took place this weekend. My pervious ex and I separated about a month ago, and I have pretty much 100 percent healed over the situation. Due to this break up, my frist ex, whom i dated for 5 years, and I started talking alot agian, and it felt great to start talking to her agian. Out of all the people I met after my frist ex, and on, I just couldnt open myself up to them like I can to her, so I was happy to have her back in my life. Of course a price comes with it. I had never lost feelings for her, and my last ex was more or less a three year rebound it felt. So my frist ex and I have been talking, and I have been trying to help her with her rexent break up this past two weeks, and just being there, where I had been absent for so long. Her and I both went to a mutal friends house this weekend with a group of friends, and started flirting around a bit, just in what seemed good fun. I assumed that if anything, it was bringing a smile on her face, and in that, she could have some temporary happiness for awhile. As the night progressed she of course had to leave, and I walked her to her car, where the flirting continued. And then It happened. She leaned in and kissed me. And I will admit that it was awesome, and made me feel great. But that was how it was left, I told her goodbye, and that I would talk to her soon. Yesterday, I called to kinda get some clarity on what had happened, if it was a mistake, or how she felt on it. She was giggling on teh phone and stated that it wasnt a mistake, and that she had no regert about it, but that she doesnt know where she is at atm, and that she needs to work things out for herself, which is understandable, and tha as much as she doesnt want to leave me in the dark, that I will have to remain in it for awhile. So my question is, what do you guys think? I mean I love this girl, and alot of emotions, good ones for that matter, manifested from that night, and now I am thinking about it all the time, trying to find the inner meaning. Just took me by surprise, like it was a dream, not a reality, but sure enough it was. I am trying to remain "normal" and pass it off as something that happened just to make it easier for her and I, but man, only if.

[Censored]

Hmmmm, i think my advice on this may be somewhat jaded and people wont agree. I could swear you are my best friend. Your story is uncannily the same as his. They ended up back together. So if thats what you heart of hearts wants, then progress slowly, and cautiously. After 5 years you may find you are really different people.

 

Treat it as a new relationship beginning if thats where youare heading.

[darkpumpkin]

I agree with Niceguyloses.

 

Treat this with kid gloves and learn about her all over again. People change a lot after 5 years. Try to remember when you feel love for her that at this moment it’s not necessarily really her you love but the memory at this time.

 

Best of luck!

[rokston]

Yup I agree too. You have to treat it as something new but also remember not to revisit the same mistakes that caused the previous breakup.

 

It is best to take things easy. Try not to ask for immediate clarity or definitions of where you stand in this. It's early days, you both have recently come out of relationships and need time to digest everything.

 

Anyways, things look good and it seems like you should be positive about it all!! Good luck

[samross]

I agree with everyone else with one caviat - tread slowly as you may be someone familiar that she needs in her recovery. Sort of like a double-rebound if there is such a thing. It doens't sound like that completely but the fact she is a bit noncomittal maybe says it's in the back of her mind.