Getting harder

[Picceta]

Hey, here's how it is..

 

I met her online about 4, maybe 5 months ago through another online friend, how we met is confusing but doesn't matter too much.

 

She kept asking me out and I kept saying no cause I didn't get how people could like date over the internet..

 

Eventually I realized I DID have feelings and I said I'd try it.. And it's been the best time of my life.. Almost been 2 months, but this is where it gets complicated. We met. It was AMAZING, it went so much better then I thought it would, took me 5 trains accross the country to get there but it was worth the time and money.

 

Problem is.. I'm not there anymore, we only had 2 days and I can't handle the distance very well but I still love her, I wanna be there but I can't be and she says same, I can't think about anything else, I can barely eat, can't study, I can't do anything. I'm going up again for 1 day in january cause I can't wait until Febuary like we had planned.. (Got back on Saturday 8th night btw).

 

I've never felt THIS strongly about anyone, it's driving me crazy cause I'm not there.. It's killing me, I don't wanna end it but I also can't get her out of my head, I miss her so much.. Just remembering what it was like makes me wanna cry.. and I've never cried over any other girlfriends before.

 

We talk on the phone every night, sometimes we argue, but we never argued when we met. It was perfect. She's having problems with it too, how can we both make it easier for ourselves?

 

I just need advice on how to cope with it I guess, and make it last without ending it cause of the pressure.

 

Thanks to anyone who replies..

[Aleadragonhawk]

Distance is incredibly hard to handle, and it can put strain on a relationship that no one understands other than someone who has been there. The best thing that you can do right now is try to plan a meeting for more than just a day. A day or two together at a time will never let you get to know one another in person, because you won't have a chance to really establish what life is normally like. Don't expect your entire relationship to be like the two days that you had together.

 

This will sound odd, but the best way to cope is by doing other things. Go out and take a walk. A bubblebath. Something with friends. Get out of the house and spend some time that isn't focused on her, because when your life becomes one dimensional you lose sight of everything else and the only thing that you can see is what you don't have - her. Just get the most out of the time you spend on the phone, and if you don't use them already, get webcams. Anything that can help bridge the distance is good. What's important is having solid plans to meet, and as the relationship grows closer and you've had more face to face time, you need to have solid plans for commitment (that include bridging the LDR).

 

I can really sympathize with where you're at right now. After meeting my husband for the first time, I had to fly three thousand miles back to Georgia and focus on my finals of all things. The first few days were absolute hell. After that I settled down some and concentrating on the things around me let me get through the time that I had to wait until we met again, but if my entire focus had been on him, I never would have stayed afloat.

[Censored]

Someone who's been there. Good perspective.

[Picceta]

Thanks for the reply. Yea we've talked about what we're gonna do in january. We're probably gonna go shopping or something.

 

But anyways, I can only go up a certain times which makes things harder, she has college 5 days a week, she works saturday and friday nights and she's chinese, so she has to go to chinese school every sunday until shes like 21 or something. Plus I work too and I got my studies, so it's hard to find time.. Going up in Febuary when she has a week off, I finished college last year so I just got work well plus my other studies, its complicated lol, but anyways I'm booking it off.

 

As for the 2 days thing, yea I get what you mean. But I've had this before, 2 days seems amazing but I've always been able to tell if it's just a one time thing, or if it really meant something, and this time it feels very strong. Not being there is hard, but keeping my mind off it is helping. But then again I don't wanna keep my mind of it even though it hurts. (If that makes sense..)

 

Sounds weird and I've never said this about any other girlfriends, but I really don't want this one to ever end..