Ampire Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 It's like were playing pong on an oldschool atari... So 2 months after the break up...LC then about 2 and a half weeks ago I went into strict NC...made it clear...I was actually doing pretty good this past tuesday I get an email How are you?....I ignore it... thursday I get another email talking about a phone bill wishing me well, pointless attempt at contact...I ignored it...at first.... but then I realized that these attempts at contact from her were setting me back, so I emailed her today and basically told her in a nice way that there cannot be an in between and I would like for her to respect that I'm trying to move one and since were not working towards reconciliation there cannot be any contact at all... she replies pretty quickly with... I miss you! We miss you! (she has a 3 year old son) I havn't replied, because this is the way I see it, if she has regrets (which she should, not to toot my own horn but I am the s*** lol) she needs to really step up her game and move some mountains...or if she doesn't and is just trying to manipulate me to try to get me to say I miss her or just to be cruel, this thought makes me angry.... regardless I can say I do have the control now.... any thoughts on what she is trying to do or what I should do??? Thanks Link to comment
-BK- Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Hey Ampire, sorry to hear that this is still going on. I like your attitude about making her really come through with "moving mountains" before you'll consider whether to not move on. I think a lot of women (and men) miss their ex when they break up with them, but aren't prepared to truly make up for what they did. They don't realize that we've been hurt and it would take more than one "I miss you" before we go running back. I know how tempting it can be to want to contact them. In this case, I would even make it more clear what you are expecting -- that way you can't worry if she knows what you're thinking. Tell her you care about her, but you won't be in between. Either she comes to you with a plan on how to work things out... or you have to move on and feel good about YOUR life. If she doesn't have a plan, you can feel good about moving on. You know? Link to comment
Ampire Posted December 10, 2007 Author Share Posted December 10, 2007 I always enjoy your advice....thanks my last email was pretty clear though... So I was thinking, should I completely Ignore, or say Let me be perfectly clear, If you want to work things out, come forth and if you dont PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN! it would basically be re-writing what I told her the first time but in capital letters, lol.... its frustrating.... Link to comment
-BK- Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 If you feel you made it TOTALLY clear, then just ignore her and move forward. If you feel that restating things one last time will make it completely clear, it can't hurt. She needs to know that you are serious -- if that pushes her away, fine, you are better off moving on and finding someone new that does want you with no games. If it makes her think and she comes back at some point, you can deal with that at the time. I'm in the same boat dude, except my ex hasn't contacted me. I'll be asking your advice if she does! Link to comment
Ampire Posted December 10, 2007 Author Share Posted December 10, 2007 If you feel you made it TOTALLY clear, then just ignore her and move forward. If you feel that restating things one last time will make it completely clear, it can't hurt. She needs to know that you are serious -- if that pushes her away, fine, you are better off moving on and finding someone new that does want you with no games. If it makes her think and she comes back at some point, you can deal with that at the time. I'm in the same boat dude, except my ex hasn't contacted me. I'll be asking your advice if she does! haha! well my brother tells me that I went wrong because last time me and the ex talked (I've had a chipped tooth for 2 months now, I started a new job and was in training and had no time to get it fixed) anyway last time we talked over 2 weeks ago I said, I have an appointment to get it fixed and she said I will believe it when I see it...so I added a p.s. see attachment and a picture of my new wonderful smile, lol.... But that doesn't give her reason to tell me I miss you, we miss you! The whole thing was actually...It looks great! I miss you! we miss you!..she should have left it at It looks great... I even explained to her "I'm not sure if you understand that It takes an astronomical amount of strength to not be a part of the lives of 2 people you really cared for, please respect"..... breaking up with one person is hard, but 2 and one who called you daddy...its hard as hell.... part of me wonders if she is just trying to be cruel... Link to comment
benga Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Dear Ex, My life without you has been surprisingly an easy transition. I have progressed fruitfully without you hindering it. "Missing me" is a very non commital statement that doesn't actually say much. We certainly had great times together as a family. It all seems just a memory now, as so much has happened since you left. In closing, I wish you the best in your future. Cheers to (son). By the way, I miss Johnny Carson and how he entertained the millions but!!!!!!!! Hows that? What reaction would you get? PERFECT!!! Link to comment
HajiMaji Posted December 10, 2007 Share Posted December 10, 2007 Haha! Well let me say a few things. First, I think people have said some really good things about your situation. I also think you are playing everything pretty smart. As for the letter, that works. If you think she might be thinking about reconciliation, you may want to express a potential openness to it while maintaining your non emotional tone. You said here that she would have to move mountains, and I think that is very important. Anyway, contact with the ex is never good. It just brings set backs. I am sorry its all going on. Best of luck with all this. Link to comment
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