EX wanting to hang out now

[MM58904]

My ex has been with his new GF for about 6 months now. He still wanted to be friends after we broke up and stuff. It was hard and we did get into arguments cause I still love him and he just wanted me to move on. We did hang out like 3 times after we broke up and he still talked to me online and stuff. Then he started going out with this girl and he would still talk to me, and we hung out once when they were going out..she was away for the weekend. But his gf always came first and he didn't really tell her that we were still friends. He would even vent to me about her. We didn't really talk for a couple months, he was busy with school and of course with his GF(who is a physco, she threatened me online) he would go online once in a while and just ask me how I was and stuff. Then a couple weeks ago, he im'ed me and we started talking. I knew he was having problems with his GF cause she's dumb and a liar. he asked if I wanted to go bowling with him last weekend and we did. He said he had something to tell me too. So we went bowling, it was fun and nice to see him and he told me that his roommates are even getting annoyed with his GF and that she has a week to change or shes gone. (She lives with him and his roommates) I just told him that he should just dump her and I asked WHy he still loves her even when shes lied to him a lot and stuff. He said he doesnt know, he still loves her. Then he apoligized for breaking my heart when we broke up and he just said he's truly sorry and wants me to make sure it's NOT my fault at all, and it's his fault.(thats what he wanted to tell me) It' hurts to know that he wants to be with a physco and he doesnt want to be with me who would do ANYTHING for him and treat him right. He knows that too..

 

basically, he still wants to be friends and hang out and just doesnt seem to care what his GF thinks. He told her that I was invited to a party at his house cause I want to see some of his friends I havent seen in a while and hang out with them and she said to my ex "well I dont want her here." and my ex said "well too bad, you can't control who is invited or who's not." I LMAO. I'm glad he's defending me now. We even went bowling last night with a couple friends of mine and it was fun. He got along with my friends who he just met. He called me earlier and said I have a nice group of friends unlike his gf's friends who are "pieces of * * * * ." I was like wow lol.

 

It's just kinda weird that he wants to hang out more I guess. I never thought I would be invited to one of his house parties while he was still with his GF. She is gonna be there but my ex said she knows not to start anything or she's gone. and all of his friends will defend me 100%.

 

has anyone been friends like this with their ex? Sorry this was a long post. Thanks for any comments.

[Censored]

Ohhhhhh, i really hope you aren't setting yourself up to get hurt here. You still have feelings for him right. What if he doesn't change his mind about his current GF and stays with her. She WILL win out in the end and make sure he doesn't contact you if they stay together.

 

You know, i have never been in this situation, but my best friend has, and it was almost exactly the same as yours. After 5 years of her waiting, they ended up back together. Go figure.

 

JHowever, i was friends with his ex during that whole 5 years, and she put her life on hold. I would hate to think what would have happened if he didn't get cancer and have an ephiphany of sorts. he's ok now BTW.

 

Please make sure you are not setting yourself up to get really hurt here.

[MM58904]

Oh I know. he is still with her..I dont know why, but he said he will see how long it lasts. and no, she won't control him..believe me. She knows that me and him have hung out. She can deal with it.

[Suesser Tod]

It's not fair to you. He is keeping you as a safety blanket and he has even been working you so you will be there when he finally breaks up with his current girlfriend.

 

What is likely to happen soon is that he will dump her. Once he dumps her, he'll become closer to you, and that will last until he finds another one.

 

Dont' do that to yourself.

[MM58904]

He's not "sneaking" around her back. He told her we hung out and that we are still friends. He is just a nice guy. Defintely not cheating on her eithier. His gf can deal with it. She's done things too and lied to him about * * * * . We've just been going bowling cause he knows I love bowling just like him and he thinks it's cool.

[Suesser Tod]

He's not "sneaking" around her back. He told her we hung out and that we are still friends. He is just a nice guy. Defintely not cheating on her eithier. His gf can deal with it. She's done things too and lied to him about * * * * . We've just been going bowling cause he knows I love bowling just like him and he thinks it's cool.

 

Can you honestly say you've got no feelings for him, that you dont' want them to break up and that you don't hope that he'll come back to you after he breaks up with her?

[MM58904]

Yes, I do still have feelings for him and I wish they would break up, but even if he does break up with her, doesnt mean he's gonna go back out with me.

 

He's dumb for staying with her and I'm not saying that just because he's my ex and stuff. I would say that to any of my friends who were in the same situation as my ex.

[Suesser Tod]

The thing is that you're putting yourself in this awfull situation. He is not tricking you into being his safety blanket, you're putting yourself in that situation, and sooner or later he will take the chance.

 

Remember, he dumped you once and went to other girl. What is going to stop him the next time?

 

It doesn't matter if you had the best intention, you're setting up yourself to being used.

[EQD]

yeah you are in a bad spot, i know how it is. I have been in your position. and as much as you think you are the favorite and she is just a "dumb liar"..

You have to remember that he chose her OVER you.. and he is sleeping with her.. not you.. so when it comes to favorites you are still losing out.

 

And if we look ontop of the whole situation he likes her more than you because obviously he is still with her, but he doesnt give a S#$% about her boundaries. . . doesnt sound like a good guy at all.

Stop saying "she can handle it" as well, because she obviously can't and the guy involved is just playing games so he can--like Ellie said-- have his cake and eat it too. He doesnt really care about either of you, but he has chosen her to be "his girl."

Face it, you lost that contest a long time ago, if he was in love with you or valued you more, then he wouldnt be with her now he would be dating you.

You are meddling in their affairs and you are jealous. And you are trying to see how much leverage you have on their relationship and him. Leave them alone.