What's going on here...

[beachguy]

Little background, I'm a 24 year old male, and she is a 28 year old female. She just moved here several months ago for a job and we both work at the same place although with our schedules we never see each other at the office. We started hanging out even from the first night once she got some drinks in her I got the "eyes" and little things made me think she was interested.

 

At first I wasn't really interested but we started hanging out more and more and now it's just assumed that we hang out on the weekends, usually talk everyday and go out for lunch several times during the week. She pays every other time, it's nice. I haven't made any moves yet because I've had a lot of girls come and go in the last 6 months and didn't want to just be into her because she was there.

 

A couple weeks ago she started to ask for help with things ie changing the washing machine hoses, she didn't want to drive an hour and a half alone by herself for a work function. She was sick a couple of days ago and was having a terrible headache and had to wait 2 hours for her insurance stuff to clear and she called really upset asking if i could bring her some aspirin since I lived just a couple of minutes away. She was going on a flight the next day out of town and I got her some meds for her cold or whatever it was and some magazines she would like because she had some layovers. Well she's been gone for the weekend and I haven't called her and she hasn't called me. And as much as I was trying to let it go and see if it would disappear it hasn't and I've really missed not having her around. When she met my friends and a couple of them asked who my girl I was bringing around was she didn't say anything to the contrary.

 

Sometimes when we hang out she'll make some jokes saying like oh I'm going to tell the boss you've been sexually harassing me and she'll get kind of touchy feely, and sometimes gets the pouty voice. The only thing that has me kind of concerned was after the doctors incident she said I just want you to know that everything you've done means a lot and you've just been a great friend. Not sure if that was the kiss of death or not. Basically I feel like we're bf/gf but I just haven't made a move... Any advice would be appreciated!

 

Thanks

[ghost69]

bro, she has you tied around her finger. you do all this crap for her and you aren't attached. she is lovin it. tell her you want to be more than 'friends'.

[Dating Coach]

beachguy, why are you doing her all of these favors? What is int his relationship for you? You're sacrificing time and effort for what? If you like the girl, ask her out. If she rejects you, move on. Being Captain Free Favor isn't going to convince her to like you romantically. She either does or she doesn't.

[NewPhillyGuy]

brah, this girl is wiping up the floor with you. stop letting her use you like a tool and find a girl with a little bit more respect.

[servedcold]

Hmm. I don't see any real abuse of the friendship on her part, she sounds willing to explore things with you and the favors she has asked aren't exactly onerous or difficult, and she is likely willing to do the same things for you. I have a hunch that she digs you and uses these things as an excuse to spend more time with you.

 

After all, you admit that you haven't made a move, and it seems you are some ambivalent about entering a relationship with her. She may sense this hesitance. No one here can tell you whether you are BF/GF or not until you decide if you want that and MAKE A MOVE, hehe.

 

If you decide you want more with her, take her out on a physical activity, light hiking is great, any kind of light sport, even a walk in the park. Get the blood flowing, tease and kid as it sounds like you two already do, start touching her lightly, and see if she reciprocates. If she does, take her aside and kiss her. DO NOT bring up a heavy talk about what your status is, just flirt and touch and see if it escalates. Truly, I think there's a 75% chance she wants you sexually...

[Dating Coach]

If she just wanted to spend time with him then she could do that in ways other than making him her lapdog. And regardless if she is romantically interested or not, he shouldn't be rushing to do her bidding, because even if she was interested playing the lapdog will inevitably kill interest.

[servedcold]

he shouldn't be rushing to do her bidding, because even if she was interested playing the lapdog will inevitably kill interest.

 

Agree totally with this part, but don't really see the "lapdog" part. He changed some washer hoses, rode with her somewhere and brought her some aspirin, right? I just get the feeling the girl wants OP to make a move, and it's been his choice not to pursue it, which is fine, but what's the girl supposed to do in her situation? She's hinting around all over the place that she wants OP to make a move IMO. Would be a bad idea on her end to totally throw herself at him. I see a green light and the OP just needs to make up his mind whether to start the engine.

[Dating Coach]

Agree totally with this part, but don't really see the "lapdog" part. He changed some washer hoses, rode with her somewhere and brought her some aspirin, right? I just get the feeling the girl wants OP to make a move, and it's been his choice not to pursue it, which is fine, but what's the girl supposed to do in her situation? She's hinting around all over the place that she wants OP to make a move IMO. Would be a bad idea on her end to totally throw herself at him. I see a green light and the OP just needs to make up his mind whether to start the engine.

 

It may not be that much over a period of time, but from the looks of it, this type of behavior is EACH time they see each other. Yes, i agree he needs to make a move but so far it seems when he see's her he's doing favors. All this tells her is that she is a priority for him and they arne't even dating yet. Bad.