I want kids, Date a guy who isn't sure ?

[selkie]

Hmm I have two guys I find very cool on link removed right now.

Met both, one for coffee and the other for drinks.

Now have dates with each over next 2 weeks.

Very cool and cute men.

But they both happen to have 'not sure' about kids checked off on their profiles.

I certainly am NOT going to bring the subject up when I barely know them.

When men aren't certain about having kids what does this mean ?

That they want to be party boys ?

That theyre super independent ?

 

[annie24]

why don't you just ask? if they said maybe, then that at least indicates a possibility, if they meet the right woman, etc.... but i dunno - if it is a deal breaker for you, you may want to ask, but likely not on the second date. if things start to get more serious, ask him, in general what his opinion is of having kids - ie, make sure that he understands that you aren't asking him to have babies with you, just that you want to know where he stands on the subject.

[Censored]

I agree with annie. If it's a dealbreaker then, well, its a deal breaker.

 

although, i'm not entirely sure how you ask a question like this early on in the pecae without sounding as though you have it ALL mapped out.

 

Being uncertain, would mean for me, "if i met the right person" then yes.

 

How old are these gentlemen? That can have an impact on uncertainty as well.

[selkie]

I agree with annie. If it's a dealbreaker then, well, its a deal breaker.

 

although, i'm not entirely sure how you ask a question like this early on in the pecae without sounding as though you have it ALL mapped out.

 

Being uncertain, would mean for me, "if i met the right person" then yes.

 

How old are these gentlemen? That can have an impact on uncertainty as well.

 

34 and 32. Im 31 in few weeks. Not freaking out though cause my Mom had me at 38 and her Mother had her at 40.

Match has I think 4 possible answers:

Definitely. Someday. Not Sure. Not interested (or something like that)

I put Someday.

[annie24]

for the record, i am also uncertain if i want children, but if i met the right man, then i'd consider it.

[Censored]

Hrrrrmmm, well, I would probably go with the thought that they are just not sure, and that this certainly doesn't mean NO. If they were 40yrs old or so, then i would err on the side of caution and think the possibilites are far greater that they may not want kids.

 

 

I suppose you don't want to get attached and have a relationship with one of them and then find out after a year or so that "not sure" actually does mean NO.

 

Follow annies advice and ask once things get a little more serious, but in a way that doesn't sound like you are desperate to have babies.....i.e. Non Psycho

[selkie]

Follow annies advice and ask once things get a little more serious, but in a way that doesn't sound like you are desperate to have babies.....i.e. Non Psycho

 

Hahaha Im so not psycho about it.

See I kinda want the guy to be the assertive one or I might not ever ending up having kids.

I have so many cool interests and hobbies that it would be easy to 'forget' to have kids.

[annie24]

well, think of it as asking someone on an early date if they want to travel to italy. just because you ask them that doesn't mean that you are asking him to accompany YOU on a trip to italy, just wanting to know in general.

 

if you can ask about the child question (since that is important to you), just try to ask in that same manner.

[Shiranai]

I don't want kids. If I have a profile I'd probably say "No."

 

However, I'll definitely have kids, because that's a deal breaker for my boyfriend, and he's more important to me than my unwillingness to have kids.

 

It's not always set in stone. A person wanting kids may change their mind depending on circumstances too. In this case, it's just a "Maybe," and you don't even know if the relationship will work out yet. I'd say, just go with the flow, rather than pop the question and scare them away.

 

I would interpret "not sure" as, with the right person I'll have kids, as well as if the other person feels strongly one way or the other, then that's what I'll do.

[ghost69]

not sure = not sure. almost like if it happens it happens. i'm not sure. but given the right girl i'd totally consider it. but i really do want kids. but some day. not sure when it will happen.

[Gath]

Hmm I have two guys I find very cool on link removed right now.

Met both, one for coffee and the other for drinks.

Now have dates with each over next 2 weeks.

Very cool and cute men.

But they both happen to have 'not sure' about kids checked off on their profiles.

I certainly am NOT going to bring the subject up when I barely know them.

When men aren't certain about having kids what does this mean ?

That they want to be party boys ?

That theyre super independent ?

 

 

ask them. some yes/no/maybe question on an internet site isn't going to tell you the story, for that you need to talk to them. those things on the internet sites are really there just to help you weed out people you would be obviously incompatible with. for everyone else, you have to get to know them the old fashioned way.