No direction in my life.. Don't know what I should be doing?

[KIDD]

Hey everyone! I'm trying so hard to live a stable life but it's hard to get myself together.I did horribly this first semester of college, I have the potential to do good but college isn't really where my heart is at the moment and I think I'm dropping out this semester. I was so unmotivated to do the work because it's like for what? I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up. Plus I'm so tired of the school structure, it's just so boring listening to a teacher for 1 or 2 hours taking notes and writing. Some people can do it but college isn't for me. I wasn't really into the whole college thing. I basically went because I thought it would help me find my purpose but it actually made matters worst. I know I failed two classes and I don't know how to break it to my parents. I don't even know how I'm going to tell my parents that I want to drop out.

 

With that, I don't have a job anymore and I'm steady searching for one but to no luck. It's so hard to find something out there.Well my life is going down the drain it seems and I feel like a failure! I have no money to support myself, still at home with my parents,no direction or guidance whatsoever and I just have such a lost feeling right now. What's really saddening me is that I felt like I've let my parents and my family down. They're always comparing me to my older sister who just seems to fly by in life. Your sister was such a good daughter, she maintained straight A's,she went through college, she has a steady job and blah blah blah. Yet I haven't accomplished anything in life as of yet.

 

I tend to start things but I get really bored easily and just quit. Like college, I started out excited but I got bored and stopped doing the work because I wasn't interested anymore and flat out didn't really care. I was exercising but I dropped it too. I was doing artwork and various hobbies but all of that just lost my interest peak. I'm just so unstable and I'm wondering now if I have some sort of mental problem. I'm so tired of my life as it is because I'm bored and I want some sort of excitement, but I don't know how to achieve it because like I said nothing really interests me. If something does, it quickly fades away as soon as I start. I'm praying and asking for answers but I haven't found myself yet.

 

I think my problem is I have no clue who I am and that's sad. I struggle daily trying to get who I am. I've tried different clothing, different hairstyles.. changing my persona but I don't know. I'm completely a mess..

[Jeffrey2095]

Hi KIDD,

 

I get bored easily too, and will often quit a project partway through when I get weary of it, and I'm 46. lol

 

My father always said "I'll support you as long as you are in school..."

 

Now, I'm sure your folks will be disappointed, but perhaps you could look into a trade school or apprenticeship.

 

A friend of mine started out as an apprentice glazier, (glass cutter) he went to night school while he worked in a shop.

 

That guy makes about $65 an hour now, installing glass on skyscrapers... talk about excitement.

 

College wasn't for me either when I was your age, for many of the same reasons.

 

I ended up going into the Air Force and learned electronics, had a very good job, one of the most demanding...

 

Jeff

[easyguy]

KIDD,

 

Your parents will just have to learn to accept that you are you and your sister is who she is. While she may be in your family, not everyone even within one family functions the same way. I am sure you feel pressured to accomplish a laundry list of things as soon as possbile. Just let some of those things go. This is not to say that you should be lazy, but drink one glass at a time so to speak. Be patient.

 

The reason we sometimes get bored with a certain subject is because we have not yet made the connections between that which is being studied and that which we have experienced in life. Instead, the tendency for some is to isolate what is being studied, making it difficult to appreciate. Will we all enjoy math, the sciences, art, or what have you? No, not all of us will. It isn't about the homework, the tests, it's about expanding your capacity and skill of meshing one subject with another at your own pace.

 

School aside, so much suffering we cause for ourselves is due to our own strenuous effort to define ourselves -- to say this is who "I am". Most people never really know who they are, and even if they do, it may soon change. Many automatically measure themselves by their external accomplishments (i.e. "I have a high-paying job, I drive a BMW, I have traveled the world, I am a college graduate, I am..."). In that complicated and heavy process we forget about the internal struggles we often wrestle with. It is a hegemonous way of living. We so easily compare yourself to others but fail to concentrate on our own accomplishments which do not take physical form. Your sister may be very content with her life right now, but that does not necessarily mean that you would be happy doing what she does.

 

I cannot really offer much more than that. Practice being patient with yourself. Billions of us walk the planet, connected in so many ways. Some of the happest people I know don't measure or compare themselves to anything or anyone. It is certainly a challenge.

 

Good luck.

[dragon111]

I strongly advise going to see your careers advisor in college- i know not all careers advisors are any good, but some are.

 

If you explain your predicament to your careers advisor he/she may be able to offer some alternatives or inspiration and explore what kind of job you are looking for.

 

Its all about finding something that excites and motivates you and holding your nose so that you can swim through all the crap and at the end of the day obtain skills that will allow you to do that thing that you enjoy.

[WaterIsLife]

I can relate to how you are feeling. You've tried doing something that is "supposed" to be the right thing to do and you're disappointed by it.

 

Try not to reign yourself in with these thoughts and feelings. Sure, telling your parents may not be easy but they'll accept it eventually. Just because college does not feel right doesn't mean that it will always be that way too. Maybe in a few years you'll want to go back. Once you really want to do it you'll find it so much more enjoyable.

 

Follow your heart on this!

[poloplayer]

I went to college because it was 'the next step.' Glad I went, but I didn't start off on a great footing either.

 

I have an old friend who never graduated from high school, but got his GED. He was bored, had a bad paying job, and was trying to get his life together. So we're talking about this stuff, joking around, complaing yet being serious yet laughing, all in this hole in the wall mexican restaurant.

 

Older guy two tables over yells out:

 

Go to college. If you don't want to go to college, then enlist in the armed forces - you won't find anything more productive and worthwhile for four years of your life being so young.

 

We ate our burittos in silence...

 

Makes you think though; old dude had a point.

[jasman]

For me, I "dabbled" in college, but was the same way. I simply don't fare well in a classroom setting. I tried to fill the void in my life like a lot of people do. Partying, drugs..... of course there was always still a void. I hit the working world and was on my own at 17, depressed a lot and lacking any real feeling of purpose. I just kept plugging ahead though. Pressing forward. I did have a foundation in music and kept active in that sense. I was told time and time again that it is extremely difficult to break into the music business, but I just held on to that vision irregardless.

 

Well, cut scene to age 40 where I am now and I'm still not making a living in music...lol. I have to say though, that I'm glad I just kept pressing forward. A year or two in oblivion can make you think that its all the rest of your life is gonna be, but that is a lie. Things do change. Opportunities do come along. People do come into your life that help you see things and give you inspiration. I met a woman and ended up marrying her. She helped me also find God, whom I know exists, because there is just way too much order in the universe for it to be just an accident. Finally, I was able to discover that my life does have a purpose, and I finally found solid direction. From there, I never looked back. I can't explain how much that has changed my life and how even though I still face life's struggles, I overcome them rather than the other way around. Hang in there!

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Hmmm.

 

You don't , DON'T want to end up in dead end job when you have the potential to get a degree. Stick it out is my basic advice, I'd ramble on if I didn't have to log off now.

 

Think of the parttime jobs you have got/had...want to do that in out everyday for the rest of your life? I run the risk of offending people here, but I speaketh of experience...I do 20hrs/week in a store right now over my Xmas break from University. I like the folk there, I quite like the job..but if someone told me that was It/jobs like It, I'd shoot myself. Bang. Think what the alternative would really be like.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Well thats hyperbole, I wouldnt SHOOT myself. I'd be hacked off seriously, however.

[FoxLocke]

I know how you feel, Kidd. Presently, I am having a b*tch of a time aquiring a new career and I have a degree. It is so frustrating, and sometimes I get so frustrated that I sit up and cry. Then when I stop crying I just get back up and try again. I know that eventually it will happen, if I hold true to my own self worth. Presently, I'm in a dead end job that I've held down since my Freshmen year. It is 25 hours a week, no benefits, and I make $10.50 per hour. I will keep it until I get a new one. But I just know I won't be stuck in it...

 

Truthfully, only YOU can make the decision on whether you want to stay in school in life. Some people are not college material and end up a success sans a degree. They just have that drive and motivation. However, for me, college was the place that I found myself and figured out what I wanted.

 

Your parents are just going to have to get over it. You are not your sister. You are an individual who has to go at his own pace. Sometimes life can get really CRAPPY. But just as soon as you think it is getting too hard to handle the next thing you know things begin falling into place.

 

Whatever decision you make do what is best for you. If you don't want to do the college thing then put it behind you, gussy up that resume, and start searching. But don't let college lick you. I would give it another chance...

 

But, the choice is ultimately your's. It is your life, live it and love it baby.

 

Cheers.

[KIDD]

I've tried the college thing but quite frankly, I don't feel like taking subjects that I'm completely not interested in and I'm just not into the whole studying and test taking thing right now. I did that through high school, I guess maybe my mindset will change as I get older. Right now I'm just trying to find my place in the world and I've been soul searching for a long time. Just trying to wait for the light bulb to go off in my head.

 

I think I may have done better this semester if I really wanted to be there and if I really knew what I wanted to do. But it's like why bother trying to study and make good grades when I have no clue what I'm in college for. That in itself made me lose interest.

 

Right now I want to do something where I can travel. Maybe I can go in the air force for awhile??

 

My parents can't make decisions for me and you guys are right. The hard part is breaking it to my parents that I flunked this semester and the time is now to tell them. But I'm so scared at their reactions about me not wanting to go to college anymore.. My heart races just thinking about that lol. Not everyone is college material and I feel it's me. It's sorta sad that it seems like you have to have a college degree to be successful in life.. What about the people that's not cut out for it? We just have to end up working with dead end jobs?

[lust4life]

hey kidd,

 

I've tried the college thing but quite frankly, I don't feel like taking subjects that I'm completely not interested in and I'm just not into the whole studying and test taking thing right now. I did that through high school, I guess maybe my mindset will change as I get older. Right now I'm just trying to find my place in the world and I've been soul searching for a long time. Just trying to wait for the light bulb to go off in my head.

 

-Exactly how I feel.

I took the "next step" to college too, & I don't think of it as an amazing experience like everyone makes it out to be. I did ok (at best) my first year & failed 2 classes. Unlike the majority of the people at my college when I wasn't in school I was working. Full time student, almost full time employee. The stress was overwhelming & I hated taking classes that are irrelevant to me or a repeat of high school. Waste of my time & money. Telling my parents I'd done crappy in college wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible as I was paying for it.

 

Where do I go now?? I have no idea. I'm thinking about moving out with my boyfriend, working full time & taking 2 classes at a time. Maybe that will help me focus while being able to handle all the costs aquired from college...

 

I was also thinking about the Air Force as well. The only thing is, it's a huge leap for me..& honestly I'm pretty intimidated by Basic training (boot camp). The benefits look amazing however. I just don't know about military life-if I'm cut out for it ya know?

 

Anyways good luck. I'm right there with ya. I guess I'll give college another shot, then go from there.

[helpimconfused]

i went to college, graduated, worked in decent jobs for a few years...

 

now i'm planning to quit with no real plan for what comes next, other than traveling, taking pictures and writing.

 

you have to do what you really love. otherwise what's the point?

[WaterIsLife]

you have to do what you really love. otherwise what's the point?

 

Yeah, you're right about that! Many of us are fortunate in that we can give ourselves options via education, etc. But we can get awfully caught up in just working for a paycheck, can't we?

 

As for me, I still haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up yet!

[mgirl]

Hey Kidd,

 

I remember you saying ages ago how you were going to influence the world, you seemed to have such big dreams.

 

Do not give up on them! Stick to college, even if the going gets tough sometimes. It will all be worth it in the long-run.

 

I would suggest doing a generic course such as 'business' - that way, the skills you learn will enable you to work in any industry when you graduate. For instance, with a business degree, you can work in human and animal welfare, for the government or for private business. You may even want to start your own business one day. I would seriously consider doing this. Don't drop out until you have had time to think it over. If you take a semester off, make sure it is purely so you can decide what you want to do.

 

Cheers,

 

Mgirl