I really need some advice of what i should do?

[Banjo]

ok here is my story. I use to work with this girl & we struck up a friendship staight away, after i left that job we stayed in touch & would meet for a coffee or drink.

 

Anyway she has not had an easy life (was married to a bastard husband who beat her & cheated on her several times), but as the months went on i started to develop feelings for her.She really is a great girl.

 

But there are complications, since i've known her she has had a boyfriend, but it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me. She pays all the bills & has no money & he has told her that if she leaves him he will kill himself - I've told her that's crap,she agrees, but she also fears he might be serious -

 

while i always was attracted to her, i never made any move because of the fact she has a boyfriend, but after a while i just had to let her know that i liked her more than a friend.

 

It wasn't all bad i met her in a bar held her hand & told her how much i care about her & that she should come & stay with me (no strings of course) to get back on her feet money wise & be in a better environment. She said that if she would be with anyone else it would proberly be me, but she needs time to sort out her life.

 

I told her i understand, but a couple days later i sent her a long text (don't know why i did this) telling her again how much i wanted more than friendship with her & that i wasn't going to wait forever, big mistake, as it may have scared her away (such a foolish thing to do). I sent her another short text about a month after that just to say hello & hope things are well, but got no reply.

 

I really feel i have blown it with this girl by coming on too strong too soon, i don't know what to do next as i feel as i have let her down as a friend. i really do care about her & would be devestated if i lost her friendship.

 

It's been six & half weeks since i told her i care about & i have tried to leave her alone. But it's been a tough six weeks.

 

What should i do now?

 

Should i call her & let her know that i am sorry i let her down as a friend - she just needed me to be her friend & i wanted more - i am attracted to her, but maybe it was a mistake to tell her my true feelings given her situation.

 

Or should i just leave her alone & wait for her to call me (if she ever does).

 

Would really appreciate some good advice on this one, i feel conflicted.

Yes i want to be with her, but i also want to let her know that i am not going to pressure her into something that she's not ready for & i am still her friend.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read my story.

[Bubbs]

First off, never live in regret. You told her how you felt about her, so you should honestly just give her time. I would say try not to think about it, but even I know that is not possible. One thing you can do is call her to she how the holidays are going. Don't mention what you've already told her. If she responds to that, you're not totally out. Remember, you have no idea what she has been going through these past six weeks. It could've been hell for her too. I hope this helps.

[Mavh25]

I personally would'nt bring it up, but like the person above me said, maybe call her see how she is and act like nothing happened, be friends with her.

 

I'm curious as to whether you'd be prepared for it should she not actually want a relationship, or should she still be with this man and you have to be a friend to her still and watch again from the sidelines.

 

Also like Bubbs said, there may be a reason she has'nt contacted you these past few weeks. She may herself have even felt conflicted and on the spot, you know better than us the type of person she is.

[Banjo]

Thanks for the advice.

 

I really am still in two minds as to what to do.

 

Part of me wants to call her & let her know i'm still her friend

 

But i think it might just be best if i just leave her alone & don't contact her anymore or at least not for a long while.

 

Man this is so hard.