My EX broke up , should I resume contact ?

[tushboy]

I met him last night at a party....He looked very glum and low. I asked him and he kinda said that he didnt want to talk about the reasons he was depressed. I didn't press on either. In fact we had a really good time. We danced, laughed, joked around. It felt like the old times.

 

Today a common friend informed me that he broke up with his ex who he had got back to. It seems his ex dumped him. I knew this would happen sooner or later as he had dumped him in the past as well..

 

Now my friends are saying I should resume contact with him, maybe LC, just being there for him as a friend. They said he was asking about me to them. I don;t know what to do ..

 

He hasn't yet himself told me about the breakup, I doubt he will as he doesn't want me to know. But I have this STRONG urge to resume miminal contact with him, and just let him know that I am there.....What do i do ?

[Censored]

Hi tushboy, i have been following your "saga"

 

For your own sanity, don't resume contact.

[tushboy]

You don't see any chance in me resuming contact and maybe getting another chance ?

[Censored]

Well, you know anything is possible, but to be honest, i don't think you should pursue it. Reread some of your other threads tush. I know its hard, trust me on that, i just think you are better off finding someone who is right for YOU. He isn't or else you wouldn't have these threads.

[cristal]

Tush, why would you want to be a consolation prize? He was only talking and dancing with you because be was dumped. From some of your earlier posts, he had pretty much ignored you when both bumped into each other at parties.

 

Don't be there to lick his wounds. He will dump you again as soon as someone enters the picture.

[CatsMeeoow]

Tush - I'll say this.... I don't see why you couldn't try LC but you need to wait a bit longer.

 

If they just broke up you just don't know at what stage they are at... perhaps they get back together again... Give your ex more time to sort things out...

 

Give it at least 2 weeks.... then if you still want to talk then I don't see why you couldn't at least try it.

 

I wish you luck!

[CrapAtNC]

Stay in NC.

 

At this point, regardless of whether this is the right relationship for you, you need to keep away. At the very least consider that your only chance is for him to come to you. If you go to him, you'll be setting yourself up for heartbreak again methinks.

[lovemeorleaveme00]

I think you should wait and if he reaches out to you just listen(thats what Superdave did)and listen and just listen to what he has to say but try not to set yourself up for more heartaches by letting your guard down..these things happen.

[love4life]

Tush, you're essentially asking to be his ego boost and, as long as you allow yourself to be that, he won't be able to work out his own issues and heal from his break-up.

 

I was having similar feelings about contacting my ex to be friends just so I could be his shoulder to lean on (which is what he wanted). But the thing is, it would be a one-way relationship and I know I wouldn't get that support in return.

 

Sounds like you are similar to me in that you have an urge to reach out to those who need help. But we run the risk of being walked on and used. Don't let yourself be his doormat.

[love4life]

I think you should wait and if he reaches out to you just listen(thats what Superdave did)and listen and just listen to what he has to say but try not to set yourself up for more heartaches by letting your guard down..these things happen.

 

I agree. Let him come to you but, if he does, don't melt into a puddle; listen, but remain firm and uninvested.

[Censored]

Tush, why would you want to be a consolation prize? He was only talking and dancing with you because be was dumped. From some of your earlier posts, he has pretty much ignored you when both bumped into each other at parties.

 

Don't be their to lick his wounds. He will dump you again as soon as someone enters the picture.

 

Thats my thought in anutshell too. Can't disagree with that.

[tushboy]

You guys make so much sense. In fact he called me last night. It was the first contact from his side in months. We met up and talked. But later he told me himself, it slipped from him that he met me as his other friends who he's close to were'nt in town. He was down and low and wanted some one to talk to, so he thought of me.

 

Today he hasn't called or messaged me the entire day. Which paints the picture that he just needed me to make him feel better. I went as I still love him and can't see him low. Also when I was with him his ex called and they spoke. They haven't yet broken up, so that kind of muddled my emotions up.

 

I am going back to my NC, I think he knows am there for him, but I can't really mess up my mind at the cost of making him feel better. It has to be a 2 way street.