What to do, what to do.....

[thekid55]

I'm 18 years old. My ex-girlfriend is 16 years old. Her and I dated for a year and a half. We spent all of our weekends together when I was in high school. Since then, I'm a freshman in college and she is a junior in high school. We tried to make the long distance work and she ended it after a month and a half. She said that she couldn't do the long-distance. I was willing to make it work. I really want to get her back.

 

We have been broken up for almost 2 months. After the breakup, I did the typical pleading, calling her, and wondering why she did this for a few weeks. I know that she got extremely turned off by all of this.

 

I basically cut off communication for the last month. My birthday was this past Monday. She called me at 12AM to be the first to say happy birthday. And since then, she has been IMing me and texting me telling me about her day and things she has seen that reminds her of me.

 

I know that she is going through the typical high school party phase right now. She hasn't had sex with anyone though and she isn't interested in dating anyone else.

 

However, I heard that she was hanging out with this one guy tonight. She isn't physically attracted to him, or mentally attracted and thinks he is ugly. But she wants to have sex with him. When we were together, she was so strict about sex and would only do it if we were problem-free. This is what one of her friends told me. I am also good friends with her friend and I know that she wouldn't lie to me. Also, I'm the only guy she has ever had sex with.

 

It seems like I have started to fall back into the clingy mode with her since she has been talking with me. I have started to see some other people, but I can't help that I love her...Some advice on this situation? Is it possible to get her back? What should I do?

[AngryHeart]

If you want my totally honest answer (which you probably won'y, but I'm gonna give you it anyway I personally would be very very wary, and hurt, over someone that wants to sleep with some guy she's not attracted to, but not be with you who love her By your post I'd say that she has changed. Like you said she's going through that kind of "party phase" I know it's harsh, but I think maybe you're just growing apart? If it hurts to talk - try breaking off cummunication again. I think this girl is currently out for one thing right now, and that's fun, not a relationship. BUT, that came from her friend..not her. So it's difficult to say if it's true or not. Hmm, srry my pst is confusing..I would suggest either coming out and asking her what she wants, or going NC.

[Aleadragonhawk]

Be honest with her and ask her what is going on right now. Her behavior has changed (with the calling/texting/etc) and you need to know what her intentions are. Maybe she's just wanting to chat, and maybe she's trying to get back with you, but you won't know if you don't ask. As for the other guy - take things one step at a time. Find out if she's romantically interested in you again first. Once you know what kind of a relationship she wants, seriously think about if you're okay with it. You might be happier not being in contact at all than being in contact when she's dating someone else, for example.

[wiser]

I can't help that I love her...Some advice on this situation? Is it possible to get her back? What should I do?

 

The no-contact worked, for two reasons.

 

You were able to avoid the temptation to be clingy and beg her, and do all that stuff that turned her off, and the added bonus was that she started to show interest in you again.

 

Cut her off again. It's all you can do. If she comes back, then play it cool, if she doesn't, well there's nothing else you can do about it.

 

About her having sex with the other guy when she was so strict about it with you...she's horny, and with each new guy the rules get more flexible. That's how it works.

[fnlyfrei]

OMG...she is 16. A FETUS. Let her grow up before you put her into grown up terms. As for the above poster..horny? and the rules getting more flexible? How nauseatingly wrong and assumptive.

 

She is a KID. Wait a while, they grow up.

[thekid55]

Again, we really don't talk on the phone much or text anymore. Most of our conversations are online. I know that you really can't get too many emotions online.

 

But I just hate this. It's been about a month and a half. I still miss her a lot. I do wonder if she feels the same...

 

I did everything for her.

[thekid55]

Any other outside thoughts? All opinions are welcome.

[wiser]

Any other outside thoughts? All opinions are welcome.

 

The only thing that comes to mind everytime I come back to this thread is that she isn't really a fetus.

[thekid55]

Well she obviously isn't. But I just need help here...please

[fnlyfrei]

The only thing that comes to mind everytime I come back to this thread is that she isn't really a fetus.

 

Yeah..but 16 and ready for a serious relationship? I think not. Not yet.

[mbrown8645]

I am not sure if she is ready for such a serious relationship that requires so much work at 16.