minniegirl Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 overreacting? I asked the bf/ex bf (still not sure where we stand) to give me a hand with moving an item I just purchased. At first, I never asked him for his help, but decided to go ahead and ask anyway. I let him know this information around 1:30 this afternoon. By 2:30, he calls to tell me that he can't help me and that we should wait until tomorrow (some snow, but nothing major). He tells me that he didn't want the item to get ruined, but then proceeds to tell me that he didn't want to get into an accident (again, the roads aren't horrible, but they aren't great and the place isn't too far away). After he tells me this, I tell him that I have to call him back to make sure the company can make the delivery instead of him doing it. I want to make sure I'm on the schedule. He calls me back and tells me I've given him a guilt trip and he's sick of it. Other not so nice things are said, etc.... I'd like to know if I'm overreacting, but the truth of the matter is that I didn't want to ask for his help to begin with because I was afraid he would pull this. Am I crazy or did I get my hopes up only to be let down again?
CandyKins Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 I think you are. You can't blame him. After all you are ex's.
minniegirl Posted December 9, 2007 Author Posted December 9, 2007 I think you are. You can't blame him. After all you are ex's. Thanks Candy. That's why I didn't want to ask for his help to begin with. Just another lesson in this mess.
toshiba Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 You know he does these kind of things and then he's got an attitude on top of it? Why do you stay in the picture?
DN Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Well, first of all he is your ex. But he didn't say 'no' as such. He said 'not today but tomorrow' and gave at least a somewhat valid reason why.
minniegirl Posted December 9, 2007 Author Posted December 9, 2007 *Note to self* - don't ask for help from an ex when you never got any when he was with you. The worst part is he already "sensed" my disappointment before I had even said anything. I told him I didn't want to ask for his help due to the potential weather issue (which will still be going on tomorrow - so, not really a valid excuse IMO), but then he got offended that I didn't ask for his help begin with. Darn if you do, darn if you don't. So in the end, I get disappointed and then he says I get to make him feel bad, guilt trip and all, for sticking with my original plans. I don't get it, yet he wants to change? Makes no sense.
CatsMeeoow Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 I agree with DN. He said he would tomorrow. I mean to expect him to drop everything and do it that day... well that's a bit much. Your unacceptance of tomorrow probably made him mad... he was trying to help and you decided to blow him off after asking... he probably felt not good enough or something. Did you at least try to explain why you couldn't wait until tomorrow?
minniegirl Posted December 9, 2007 Author Posted December 9, 2007 I agree with DN. He said he would tomorrow. I mean to expect him to drop everything and do it that day... well that's a bit much. Your unacceptance of tomorrow probably made him mad... he was trying to help and you decided to blow him off after asking... he probably felt not good enough or something. Did you at least try to explain why you couldn't wait until tomorrow? I, in no way asked this man to "drop everything" to help me out. I would never to that to anyone and I certainly didn't do that to him. In fact, I rarely ever (or have ever) ask for his help because 9 times out of 10, he flakes out on me. I asked him if he was available, if he was busy or working. He said as soon as he finished up, he would be right over. He knew the weather situation as well. I do not ever want to burden anyone with my needs, thus why I didn't ask him. He was the one that got mad because I didn't ask him for his help originally. I told him that tomorrow wouldn't work due to me having plans that were already made in a week in advance, thereforeeee, the handling of this item would have to be early. I explained the situation in full. I asked for his help (since he says I never ask him for help regarding anything, now you know why) and an hour later, he bails on me. I, in no way, blew him off. I had to make sure my delivery was still on the books since I had already called the company saying someone was going to help me, only to turn around an hour later to reschedule everything.
sandyv Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Minnie, let this guy go, If I didn't know better, I'd think he was my ex.... selfish piece of crud that he is.... Don't take any crumbs from this flake, you deserve better girl, my ex wanted to come over 2 weeks ago to fix my bathroom tiles... still hasn't done that... screw em... Honestly girl, we deserve better.... hang in ok? xxx Sandy
minniegirl Posted December 9, 2007 Author Posted December 9, 2007 Minnie, let this guy go, If I didn't know better, I'd think he was my ex.... selfish piece of crud that he is.... Don't take any crumbs from this flake, you deserve better girl, my ex wanted to come over 2 weeks ago to fix my bathroom tiles... still hasn't done that... screw em... Honestly girl, we deserve better.... hang in ok? xxx Sandy Thanks love. I'm not looking for validation. If I'm in the wrong, then I'm wrong. I also apologized for anything that I may have said (he's now sulking). But I find his actions to always be the same. I ask for help, I get told yes, I move forward and right at the important moment, LET DOWN. I could understand if I demanded him to help me, etc.... But I asked and made sure I didn't over step my bounds. He was full aware of the entire situation, then slap in the face. Then he's the one who gets all sad and hurt because I had to make the proper arrangements for my item. Why does it always turn out to be about him? And he says he wants to work on things and change. The more they change, they more they remain the same.
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