cant find my smile Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 feeling pathetic....need to stop obsessing why can't I get it through my head that me sleeping with my ex for 3 months post break up with not bring him back. cooking him dinner with not bring him back. asking him again and again to think about us and to give us another chance will definitely not bring him back. and why can't I get it through my head that I shouldn't want him back. i'm way too cool a chick to feel this alone and vulnerable. what's wrong with me.
cant find my smile Posted December 8, 2007 Author Posted December 8, 2007 oh also, need to come to terms with the fact that no matter how many times I check this website in a day, the magic solution will not appear. thank goodness internet isn't charged by the minute
buckdawg Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 i'm sorry. been there done that. at first i was hoping there was something magical i could do or say to make her want me back. when i figured out that wasn't happening i hoped for something magical that would make me get over the hurt. guess what? didn't happen either it's all part of the process. we have to feel this hurt before we can move on. r u still doing all these things for him? maybe this will help: image removed
love4life Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 i'm way too cool a chick to feel this alone and vulnerable. Hold on to that thought!
cant find my smile Posted December 8, 2007 Author Posted December 8, 2007 yup...still doing all those things for him. whenever I say that I don't just want to be friends with benefits and want to know that he is still working on his issues and thinking this through he says that he is, but doesn't want to say if or when our relationship might work again. Aslo refuses to say he is considering us done for good. trust me, I know this is probably a line, and that he probably is just using me, but it is so hard to accept that and just let go.
buckdawg Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 well...i know it's tough...but nothing's going to change until you make it change. i know you probably know that already. i can sympathize with you because if i were in your shoes i can't promise i'd be any different. at least my wife has the decency to not string me along while she's enjoying her space.
CandyKins Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 I think you should do the NC. After all you are a cool chick, right? Number one and golden rule dear: Never have sex with your ex! Sex is about loving someone and wanting to share their all. Having sex should be an expression of oneself and a sharing of two souls. Sex is never be taken as just animal pleasure and disgarded like garbage. If you don't care for the person, then don't get into a sexual relationship. Having sex with an ex is weak and is a low mentality. It is such a bad idea. It would be so hard to get over him, can create confusion (as sex is powerful) and hard to deal with emotionally and will give you flase hopes. Just keep the relationship quite raw, nothing sexual. Not even hugging or light kisses.
sandyv Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 can't find my smile.... just wanna say you aren't alone, I'm so lost myself, done everything I know I can do, still feeling very alone... There seems to be no solution to be totally sad and alone..... thats where I'm at... the hurt is relentless... Wish I could contribute more, just want you to know. you aren't alone Sandy
AngryHeart Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 I understand how you're feeling, so many of us do. We are feeling the same. I wish I had that magical pill to find the answer to ALL of my probblems, I wish I could get inside my ex's head and how what is going on. But I can't...we have to ride this mourning BS, and from it we will all get stronger. Atlough saying that, if you guys could check out my newest thread in this section and add your 2 cents, that would be brill Good luck everyone, stay strong RIGHT!
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 9, 2007 Posted December 9, 2007 Stop the sex, stop doing things for him, stop listening to his lines which keep you hoping and unsure. Walk away and either go no contact or low contact, although I think in your case no contact will be better for you because it will enable you to heal without having him set you back. When they are good with the lines to keep you hooked, it is better to completely walk away until you are no longer vulnerable to the "charm".
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