Is it love or am I just stuck?

[inspiration]

Well this may be lengthy but I have to let it all out before break into tears.

 

I've been with my girlfriend for 18 months and it is our first relationship. We live together and get together great for nearly all of the time. Last week I felt closer than I ever have to her, but now I'm afraid that feeling is long gone.

 

Recently, it was the last day of classes her at college and she seemed stressed. She seemed to be taking it out on me and I could not really get away from her. So I asked her what was wrong and if there was anything I could do to help. She, of course, said "no" which did not surprise me at all. So I told her how she is treating me is making me very tense. She got very offended and walked out the door. I yelled, but not at her and kicked something. Sometimes when I feel as though I did something wrong I completely lose my temper... but never ever ever would I yell at my girlfriend or harm her physically. After she left I went to bed for about four hours until she got back. Then it was pretty much the next day.

 

So yesterday we went to see a new place to live, since we are very unhappy where we live now. Yesterday went great... we had great conversation and discussed getting a pet when we move.

 

Fast forward to today. Everything is going great this morning... and then I make coffee. I'm carrying her cup of coffee over to her and I spill a portion of it. Unfortunately, this is a common thing for me to do. I immediately clean it up and apologize. She then scolds me like I am a child and tells me that it is unintelligent that I do not pay attention and spill all the time. I tell her that I do pay attention and I should just simply start carrying one thing at a time. This was not good enough for her and I continue to get scolded. She then wants to use the internet... so instead of asking me to stop my downloads she just says "ARE YOU DOWNLOADING s**t?" I stop my downloads and slam my notebook shut, because once again I'm not being treated like a an adult. I tell her that I feel like a child how she is talking to me. She calls what I did "f**k**g stupid" again and leaves the room. Before she leaves I apologize, for what I do not know. I guess I apologized for spilling... but that sounds very stupid. And that leads me up to this point.

 

I'm laying here on the floor in the apartment thinking very hard about things. Writing, reflecting on the good and bad times. Weighing everything out. I just do not know what to do. I've invested so much of my heart, soul, time, and I hate to say money, but yes... a lot of money into this relationship. I've committed myself enough to this woman that my mom actually works for her mom. I've committed myself enough to this woman that I moved in with her and have mixed my belongings with hers. I absolutely loved her like three days ago, but something here seriously has to give... and it has to be quick. I don't want to be ending a relationship over this wonderful time of the year, but I really hate feeling trapped.

 

Is there anything I can do to resolve this situation? I hate playing this silence game. I have to have someone to talk to.

 

 

Regards,

-.ins

[theartofruin]

Hi Inspiration, I'm sorry you're going through this. This is make or break up time. I wish I could offer some gem of advice, but you have done everything that I would have (try to talk it over sensibly and maturely!). Doesn't seem to work though.

 

I know exactly what you mean about being talked down to, as if you're a child. I hate that. It's this very grating and arrogant way of being told that you are wrong, and your partner is right. They won't shift, they won't discuss anything sensibly because their opinion on the matter is gospel. Apologies don't matter either. And I'm like you: apologising for things when we don't even know why! We're just trying to keep the peace!

 

I couldn't tell you why your girlfriend is treating you like this. I've never understood the stress thing. I've never taken stress out on other people, but they seem to keep doing it to me. Maybe our problem is that we are too passive, too easily controlled? We're treated badly because our partners know they can get away with it? Who knows.

 

I'm really sorry man, if you need to just vent or chat let me know. Hopefully somebody else can offer you some help, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone!!

[ghost69]

edit and adjust your font. i think you will get more responses.