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For those who don't know my story, I've been through hell and back twice over the past few years. I gave everything I had to be with someone, who, in the end decided she did not want to be with me, twice. Simple as that.


The past couple of months have been a big test that I think I'm passing so far. I opened up a new chapter of my life, moving cross-country, starting a new job, and have began looking forward to the future.


Being new to the area, I decided to join link removed. It took some guts to put myself out there once I felt ready. I ended up going on a couple of dates with a few women who were considered my "match", yet did not end up being my type, and I was ok with that. I honestly wasn't attracted to either of them despite them being what I was "looking for" physically, but not emotionally. I wondered to myself "Am I ready to date again?" I feel confident the answer is "yes".


Well, about a month ago, I expanded my search globally instead of just 50 miles from my home, and this is where it gets interesting. I'm not sure what I was thinking, only that I felt that there was someone out there with similar interests, dreams, ambition, who would appreciate my love, and also love me back with all of her heart in return. I came accross a woman who came up as my match in the Philippines, her profile seemed like we were looking for each other, so I decided to send an inquisitive email. She responded, and since then, we've been hitting it off over the past month. I've talked to her on the phone a few times (clicked really well), we've sent over a dozen pictures to each other, and things are looking great. I mean, they are looking as good as they possibly can, as far as an online relationship goes. She has asked me to fly out to the Philippines to meet her family. She's sweet, honest, sincere, caring, and she's so into me, it makes me feel like a million bucks. She's a nurse (I am too), and has been planning a move to the US in the spring.


My problem now is, I'm a bit unfamiliar to "courting" a Philippina woman. From what she's told me, family is VERY important. I did some research, and courting is a lot different than dating. In filipino culture, you aren't just courting your lady, you are courting the entire family. Filipino values and tradition are important. There are rules and a process that takes place over time. Being a 28 year-old American man, it was a little odd (at first) hearing her (she's 22) say that her parents and family want to meet me. I'm excited about that, although I am a little nervous. I just want to make a good first impression with her family, so that they can see that I am a really good guy who will treat her right. Any advice would be appreciated. I realize I'm only a month into this, and am trying to keep myself from bubbling over, because I haven't felt this way in a long, long time. I'm worried things may be different when we see each other in person. I don't want to get crushed, although it's a risk I'm willing to take to find the right one.


Any advice would be appreciated.

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I'm rather skeptical of long distance situations, especially international ones....but of course one friend of mine married a woman from the Ukraine he met through the internet, and they seem very happy.


I had another friend (a woman) who met a guy from South Africa that seemed very into her....long story short, they got married and on the exact day he got his US citizenship (3 years I think) he was gone and not to be found. Needless to say, she was heart broken. There are so many issues with cross cultural dating and of couse there's the issue of your own healing and the fact that long distance likely feels pretty safe for you at this point. I'm no expert, but I know I'm in no shape (8 months on) to be dating much, especially a long distance situation where it's easy to let the imagination run wild. Procede with caution and I hope you find what your heart desires Bestrong! Good to see you on here again.

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Yeah, I know. I think she may fit that stereotype you described, considering her interactions with me. Loyal, clingy, that's great. I'm looking for a partner to share the rest of my life with. I don't care about power. I'm looking for someone who will be with me through thick and thin. I actually asked her to describe the relationship with her ideal soul mate a few weeks ago, and this is an excerpt from what she wrote:


"Well, my dreams when i finally found my soulmate is to be the best that I can be, of course there's no such thing as a perfect relationship but i really want my next relationship to be my last if possible. That I will able to see my future with him and have my pretty kids and grow old with each other. That would be really sweet to think of. I always wanted to meet the sweetest man that God has destined me to be with and I know that when that time comes it'll be one of the happiest moment in my life. But when I get married, I want to enjoy my marriage life first with my husband then maybe have a kid after several years. Coz thats what my older sis is always telling me. It always feels good to have more time with your partner first and enjoy the time being together as a couple. And yes, someone who would be with me all the time through all the pains and happiness. Who will support me in all the things and ill do the same also."


Here's what I had to say about mine:


"I could look into her eyes, and know from that instant, without saying a word, that it was meant to be. We wouldn't even have to say a word. I think just being in each other's company, we'd feel completely relaxed, knowing it was right. Everything else would come along so easily. Honesty, commitment, love, strength, it would all be there. She'd be my best friend too, and I'd love her forever."


I have a good feeling about this. We'll see where it leads me. She's sincere, honest, and I feel blessed. She's already told me she's committed to me, and to be honest, the feeling is mutual. I'm thinking of booking a flight to see her.

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