Mostly looking for a female response but all welcome

[Need_some_help]

I have met yet another girl from online. We have not yet met in person, but we have spent some time on the phone, and we have chatted via IM and webcam, so we honestly know what each other look like and sound like and all that jazz.

 

This is at least the second girl that i have met that after a while of conversations has continued to make comments that she wants me to come over and cuddle. And has made a point that nothing else is going to happen.

 

So what i would like to know from those that might have a clue is, what is this about. Are they just that lonely that they genuinely are looking for someone to share time with, or are they just looking to be intimate and using this as a tactic to make it come to fruition?

 

Any ideas are welcome.

[toshiba]

I have met yet another girl from online. We have not yet met in person, but we have spent some time on the phone, and we have chatted via IM and webcam, so we honestly know what each other look like and sound like and all that jazz.

 

This is at least the second girl that i have met that after a while of conversations has continued to make comments that she wants me to come over and cuddle. And has made a point that nothing else is going to happen.

 

So what i would like to know from those that might have a clue is, what is this about. Are they just that lonely that they genuinely are looking for someone to share time with, or are they just looking to be intimate and using this as a tactic to make it come to fruition?

 

Any ideas are welcome.

 

Most women don't have to look for tactics to make sex come to fruition. We could bend over and pick something up off the floor and get sex to come to fruition. It doesn't take much.

 

Chances are the girl is lonely and this is the only way she seems to know how to get guys to be close. She knows they'll come right over and she probably figures that sex and closeness is better than nothing. Sounds like she has psychological problems. I'd steer clear.

[CandyKins]

If you both have known each other for a long time. Lets say 6 months to a year then it's highly like to mean she genuinely has a warm affection for you.

 

Don't think so deep and intellectual about it.

[servedcold]

Most women don't have to look for tactics to make sex come to fruition. We could bend over and pick something up off the floor and get sex to come to fruition. It doesn't take much.

 

I agree with this, but wanted to add that the internet/webcam thing allows people to meet and screen for sex without any community strings involved. For example, if a woman walks into a local bar and picks a man up, odds are, the man will tell others who frequent that bar or someone will see her leave with the dude she picks up. Many wouldn't care about this, but lots do, and complications can always arise.

 

Meeting on the internet allows you to select someone outside the normal community very easily, thus attaching fewer strings, complications and consequences to what follows. Webcams are the true pickup bars of the 21st century. Next thing you know, there will be webcam dating and pulling guides out there sold as downloadable PDFs. "Hooking up with a Webcam for Dummies." Just food for thought.

[ConfusedDater]

I have met yet another girl from online. We have not yet met in person, but we have spent some time on the phone, and we have chatted via IM and webcam, so we honestly know what each other look like and sound like and all that jazz.

 

This is at least the second girl that i have met that after a while of conversations has continued to make comments that she wants me to come over and cuddle. And has made a point that nothing else is going to happen.

 

So what i would like to know from those that might have a clue is, what is this about. Are they just that lonely that they genuinely are looking for someone to share time with, or are they just looking to be intimate and using this as a tactic to make it come to fruition?

 

Any ideas are welcome.

 

 

 

 

Don't question it, just accept it-lol You know how hard it is for me to find a Cuddle/Snuggle Buddy this time of the year and you are wondering why she is interested in cuddling. And you don't have to go out on a date, just order dinner and cuddle. That's a GREAT DATE

[Poe]

and all that jazz.

 

Why do you have to steal my lines?

[Need_some_help]

Most women don't have to look for tactics to make sex come to fruition. We could bend over and pick something up off the floor and get sex to come to fruition. It doesn't take much.

 

Chances are the girl is lonely and this is the only way she seems to know how to get guys to be close. She knows they'll come right over and she probably figures that sex and closeness is better than nothing. Sounds like she has psychological problems. I'd steer clear.

 

I understand that women dont need tactics, however they wont look like a ho or anything if they use tactics like that.

 

If you both have known each other for a long time. Lets say 6 months to a year then it's highly like to mean she genuinely has a warm affection for you.

 

Don't think so deep and intellectual about it.

 

I havent known her that long hence the fact that we hadnt met up until now

 

Don't question it, just accept it-lol You know how hard it is for me to find a Cuddle/Snuggle Buddy this time of the year and you are wondering why she is interested in cuddling. And you don't have to go out on a date, just order dinner and cuddle. That's a GREAT DATE

 

Just actually questioning the repeated pattern that is developing. not the fact that she wants to cuddle, hell if nothing else that will just give me the opportunity to get my foot in the door so to speak.

 

 

Why do you have to steal my lines?

 

Didnt know that it was exclusively yours

 

 

 

Finally an update, we met today for a quick lunch, and things apparently went well, because she cancelled another "date" that she had already planned for tonight to meet up with me for coffee as well.

 

Sat and had coffee for a couple hours, and things went well. So we will see what the cuddling thing is actually about.

[Batya33]

It sounds like she has little common sense or regard for her safety if she will let a complete stranger (which I consider you two to be since you never met in person) into her home. It also sounds desperate. if you are looking for a long term relationship, understand that certain of her behaviors in other areas will also likely be reckless which might make it hard to sleep at night if you can't reach her.

[ConfusedDater]

It sounds like she has little common sense or regard for her safety if she will let a complete stranger (which I consider you two to be since you never met in person) into her home. It also sounds desperate. if you are looking for a long term relationship, understand that certain of her behaviors in other areas will also likely be reckless which might make it hard to sleep at night if you can't reach her.

 

 

 

I'm actually meeting a female tonight for the first time in my APT and we plan to cuddle and watch tv. No sex at all. We taked on the Phone for a month so she feels comfortable with me

[Batya33]

It's only common sense that when it comes to safety over the internet you have to presume the person is a stranger for purposes of where to meet no matter how long you've type and talked - especially for women. You have no idea if she will have other people there, she has no idea if you're a rapist or a stalker and now you will know where she lives. It's one of the most nonsensical things a woman can do in my opinion with respect to meeting men for the first time through the internet. obviously if the two of you knew people in common - knew them well - then maybe you could meet at her apartment and maybe you could come in after for a minute.

 

Since you do not seem to be a rapist she is darn lucky but I would not advise a serious relationship with a woman who has so little regard for her personal safety. Talking on the phone for a month means nothing in this context.

[toshiba]

I understand that women dont need tactics, however they wont look like a ho or anything if they use tactics like that.

 

 

I think inviting a guy that you've never met before over to your house to "cuddle" is looking pretty "ho-ish" to me.

 

And who are we fooling here? Put a man and a woman who are attracted to one another in a bed (or on a couch) together. It doesn't take much from there.

 

Not only that but.....do you really like stupid women? Because that's what she is. Only a stupid woman would invite a stranger over to her house. If she isn't familiar with how many women "disappear" or end up found dead in the trunk of a car, then she's not too aware of the world around her. And if she IS aware of those things happening in the world and STILL invites strange men over, then she's just plain stupid.

 

Either way, it doesn't sound like intelligence is in great supply.

[Poe]

 

Didnt know that it was exclusively yours

 

 

FYI, I was only kidding. I have been known to say that in real life!

[JeckyllNHyde]

I think inviting a guy that you've never met before over to your house to "cuddle" is looking pretty "ho-ish" to me.

 

And who are we fooling here? Put a man and a woman who are attracted to one another in a bed (or on a couch) together. It doesn't take much from there.

 

Not only that but.....do you really like stupid women? Because that's what she is. Only a stupid woman would invite a stranger over to her house. If she isn't familiar with how many women "disappear" or end up found dead in the trunk of a car, then she's not too aware of the world around her. And if she IS aware of those things happening in the world and STILL invites strange men over, then she's just plain stupid.

 

Either way, it doesn't sound like intelligence is in great supply.

 

LOL @ stupid women comment. Harsh and bluntly put but I agree.

She can say "we're not gonna have sex" all she wants, and I believe her but how the heck does she know the guy wont push for it?

It is "ho-ish" to just tell some guy you have been talking with and never even met in person (so your not even sure if you will hit it off) but your asking him to come over and cuddle. And yea, like toshiba said, put 2 people together cuddeling on a couch or bed, and a hint of attraction and wham-o, you can pretty much guess how things will go. Doesn't need to lead to sex but it will probably include heavy making out maybe more.

 

To the OP, lol, your lucky though, you get action and don't even need to take her out on a date to get to know her better. (not saying date=guy gets action, was just intended as a joke)

[toshiba]

 

To the OP, lol, your lucky though, you get action and don't even need to take her out on a date to get to know her better. (not saying date=guy gets action, was just intended as a joke)

 

 

IS he lucky though? He doesn't really know what's waiting for him there. Could be that a boyfriend or ex boyfriend shows up....a mean one.

 

Or she AND her boyfriend could waiting there for him to rob him. It has happened.

 

Or she could rob him herself. I knew a guy who met a woman online, had her over for the night and she took off with his wallet and maxed out his credit cards.

 

My point is....it's not safe for guys either.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Good point.^^^

Never even crossed my mind.

[ConfusedDater]

IS he lucky though? He doesn't really know what's waiting for him there. Could be that a boyfriend or ex boyfriend shows up....a mean one.

 

Or she AND her boyfriend could waiting there for him to rob him. It has happened.

 

Or she could rob him herself. I knew a guy who met a woman online, had her over for the night and she took off with his wallet and maxed out his credit cards.

 

My point is....it's not safe for guys either.

 

 

 

LOL-everytime a female came here for the first time after they leave I always make sure they haven't taken anything-lol

[Jamilah22]

Well honestly, everyone loves a warm body to be next to, especially around this time of year. I'd say she really does want to get close with you and cuddle, and there may be two reasons she says it will end there.

 

1- She is trying to be demure and doesn't want to come off as some floozey.

 

2- She really only wants to feel the closeness of someone without taking it to the next level.

 

Obviously I don't know what you guys have spoken about, what your conversations are like, or how long you have been conversing, so I can't offer too too much to you here. I would say meet up with her. Once you're with her, you will be able to tell instantly if cuddling really is all she wants from her body language and how she behaves with you physically. If you really enjoy each others company and like each other a lot, then taking it slow and waiting for sex (if you continue to see each other) shouldn't be a problem in the future of things. Best of luck!

[Batya33]

The point is - for purposes of safety - she is a complete stranger no matter how long they've typed/talked. For example, she could make life pretty unpleasant for him by luring her to his home and then calling the cops and claiming he assualted her. Or it could be one of those neat sting operations on TV where she is really 15 years old.

 

On her end, common sense is that if you invite a stranger into your home to cuddle, you are sending the clear message that even with the coy "it will stop at cuddling" if you are willing to behave that recklessly you probably can be easily cajoled into getting naked.

[Jamilah22]

Well ultimately it's up to the starter of this thread to meet with her or not. Why does it have to be her house? Why can't you just go somewhere public? Dinner? Movie? City? Anything? Meet up with her a few times, like I said in my past post, and just feel it out. Good luck.

[Batya33]

Because the OP presumably is intrigued with the idea of "cuddling" more than he is interested in actually getting to know her in a public place.

[Need_some_help]

 

This is at least the second girl that i have met that after a while of conversations has continued to make comments that she wants me to come over and cuddle.

 

So what i would like to know from those that might have a clue is, what is this about. Are they just that lonely that they genuinely are looking for someone to share time with, or are they just looking to be intimate and using this as a tactic to make it come to fruition?

 

Any ideas are welcome.

 

Because the OP presumably is intrigued with the idea of "cuddling" more than he is interested in actually getting to know her in a public place.

 

 

 

Wow it is interesting how this thread has taken on a life of its own, it went from a mere curiosity to someone being raped, murdered and pilaged. lol

 

No the OP is not presumably intrigued with the idea more than getting to know her. At no point did the OP say that he was going to do either. He merely said that he was curious why women are doing this. Apparently, people think it is because women in this area are stupid.

 

Perhaps women are doing this because i am just that charming of a person, and they feel that comfortable that quickly after meeting me, either via text and telephone.!!!

 

But it probably has more to do with all thats wrong with the world right? Thats funny.

[Batya33]

The problem is that gauging comfort level from typing and talking makes no sense - you have no idea if the person is who he says he is and yet he is being invited into a person's home. If I had invited the people I met - and screened - through on line dating - into my home before meeting them in person they would have included:

 

a pathological liar

a man who bragged on the date about punching someone who looked at him funny on a bus

a man who couldn't drink his coffee because he was obviously strung out on drugs (there were two of those)

 

and of course there's the danger of the person turning out to be a stalker and knowing where you live.

[Need_some_help]

The problem is that gauging comfort level from typing and talking makes no sense - you have no idea if the person is who he says he is and yet he is being invited into a person's home. If I had invited the people I met - and screened - through on line dating - into my home before meeting them in person they would have included:

 

a pathological liar

a man who bragged on the date about punching someone who looked at him funny on a bus

a man who couldn't drink his coffee because he was obviously strung out on drugs (there were two of those)

 

and of course there's the danger of the person turning out to be a stalker and knowing where you live.

 

But the problem is more so that it was never said that it was actually going to happen, in all actuallity on both occurrences, the girls did not tell me where they lived, nor did i ask them the same. As for the stalker, i hate to tell you something, but you could know a person for a very long time and still not know that they are a stalker. it could require certain parameters to get the stalker to stalk and until you met those parameters you would never know.

 

Further, i think that If you have encountered those 4 dates as you claim, you should take a long hard look at your screening process before you continue to date. I understand that every once in a while someone can be fooled, but that is a little excessive, and needs attention.

 

But thats just my opinion

[Batya33]

LOL - I met over 100 men in person through on line dating (what about you?) and there is little way to tell by typing and talking whether someone takes drugs, is a pathological liar, etc - and I always met in public places- as a first meet - not a date - for coffee so even if they did turn out to be wrong for me I was not at their home or they at my home. obviously all dating has risks - I am talking about minimizing those risks by not inviting a stranger (which I define as someone you never met in person) - into your home. That to me is a needlessly silly risk to take especially for a woman.

 

If you think you can screen for that - be my guest and good luck to you. If you even glance through threads on on line dating you will see at least a few examples of the sorts of information that can be hidden before you meet the person - such as body language, etc. The only way I knew about the pathological liar is by comparing notes after with a few friends who had met him too, it turned out. Otherwise I would have never known - because I decided not to see him again since I found him very boring.

 

(I stopped on line dating over 2 years ago when I met my boyfriend - I met several very nice people through on line dating and had several short term relationships. I still keep in touch as friends with a few people I met that way).

[ConfusedDater]

Well I met a girl for the first time tonight who came to my apt to cuddle and everything went well