I am so angry that want to...

[foreverlost]

I am so angry at my ex for what he has done to me that I want to text his phone and express my anger and hatred towards him.... and tell him he really isn't God and doesn't as much power as he thinks he does... I want to tell him I hate him and wish he could... you know what.

I am soo furiously angry!!! I have been feeling like this for the past 3 days and it won't go away!!

Will this make me look weak?

[sandyv]

forever, yeah it will make you look as though you've lost control.

 

Do your best not to give in to this feeling, let it pass, hard I know, but you can.

 

You'll be glad you didn't express these feeling later on, believe me....

I've felt the same way and wanted to do what you want right now.. but its not the way to go, keep control.

 

xx

 

Sandy

[foreverlost]

How can someone be so heeartless?

[lost_for_words]

I did it last weekend, and believe me, I didn't feel any better for it, worse in fact.

[sandyv]

Oh forever, I hear you there, I never understood how someone can be so totally heartless either, but as we both know, they sure as hell can be.

 

It gives them power to be heartless..... their ego can also be built on hurting others with some of them... the list goes on, yes it sucks....

[foreverlost]

i admit I have given him all the power... and he enjoys it... I am wishing for the time where *I* have all the power...

[sandyv]

i admit I have given him all the power... and he enjoys it... I am wishing for the time where *I* have all the power...

 

Forever, you can have the power, the power is by NC'ing him, the sooner the better.

 

Will give you some time to heal..... will also make him wonder why you don't seem to care anyone..... this all equals power for you.... doesn't feel like it right now but do it, it will help, has helped me incredibly....

[foreverlost]

Forever, you can have the power, the power is by NC'ing him, the sooner the better.

 

Will give you some time to heal..... will also make him wonder why you don't seem to care anyone..... this all equals power for you.... doesn't feel like it right now but do it, it will help, has helped me incredibly....

 

 

 

do they EVENTUALLY contact you? because right now it feels like he won't... I think he loves the fact that I have stopped contacting him.

[Poe]

Feel the power of raw indifference. It'll empower you and probably irk the hell out of him, since he probably takes you for granted. Walk away and do not look back.

 

Do you really have to get back at him? Do you really have to let him know? Do you really have to hurt him right back? Find an constructive outlet for your anger and let it go. When you've moved on, and you've found someone better, and he is pulling the same garbage... you will have the last laugh.

[jdubs]

Hey Forever,

 

You do have all the power.

 

Your power is the fact that you are a bigger person, because you take the high road. When people do crappy things to each other, they may FEEL powerful, but it really shows how WEAK they really are. The reason is because that behavior stems from INSECURITY. So....

 

Be the bigger, stronger person.. don't give him the satisfaction to know that he has an effect on you whatsoever. This will take that power away from him.. There is no need to say anything to him. If he has been an idiot, let him reap what he has sown. Keep your self respect.. that's the real power, in my opinion.

[sandyv]

do they EVENTUALLY contact you? because right now it feels like he won't... I think he loves the fact that I have stopped contacting him.

 

Well in alot of cases, ex's do come sniffing around wondering whats up with you.

 

Mine did, a long time ago, as a matter of fact he still is...... although the feelings are somewhat still with me. I totally ignore him, he's the one who seems to need to know what I am doing..... so the short answer is YES..... NC can do this.

[foreverlost]

He has begged and begged me to leave him alone. I gave him what he wanted, and then he started messaging me... for stupid reasons. To ask me questions about some things. Then the other day he says "why do you still talk to me? why do you always message me?" and I look at him like he's stupid and tell him that HE's the one that initiates the conversations... I don't get him. I really don't. The truth is, we met up about 3 days ago, had a good time... then I asked him if he wanted to give this another shot and he blew up and said that will never happen.

This is why I am soooo angry... he acted like he had all the power.

Sometimes I disgust myself...

[sandyv]

forever, he wants to keep you loving him. Thats the power aspect of things.

 

He will probably hate it if you just ignore him, so do that, let him stew in his own juice.... you deserve to be treated better than this.

[Poe]

Don't get caught up in the power struggle. See above it.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Don't give in to your anger. It is okay to feel angry but do something positive with that anger. If you call him up and spew out all the nasty, hurtful things you want to say, you will actually end up feeling worse for having lost control. He will end up telling himself how justified he was because look how crazy you are. You won't solve anything by saying horrible things to him. If you need to vent, write it out in a letter which you won't send. The anger stage will eventually go away, you just have to go through it. This is not about whether he has power over you or you have power over him...this is about you having power over YOU. He doesn't matter anymore, he is out of your life and his opinion of you is no longer important. He has no power over you anymore...if you call him, it will show him that he still does have power over you. Take back control over yourself. Just continue on the path of healing and know that your feelings are normal but they will pass.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Hey Forever,

 

You do have all the power.

 

Your power is the fact that you are a bigger person, because you take the high road. When people do crappy things to each other, they may FEEL powerful, but it really shows how WEAK they really are. The reason is because that behavior stems from INSECURITY. So....

 

Be the bigger, stronger person.. don't give him the satisfaction to know that he has an effect on you whatsoever. This will take that power away from him.. There is no need to say anything to him. If he has been an idiot, let him reap what he has sown. Keep your self respect.. that's the real power, in my opinion.

 

Great post!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

He has begged and begged me to leave him alone. I gave him what he wanted, and then he started messaging me... for stupid reasons. To ask me questions about some things. Then the other day he says "why do you still talk to me? why do you always message me?" and I look at him like he's stupid and tell him that HE's the one that initiates the conversations... I don't get him. I really don't. The truth is, we met up about 3 days ago, had a good time... then I asked him if he wanted to give this another shot and he blew up and said that will never happen.

This is why I am soooo angry... he acted like he had all the power.

Sometimes I disgust myself...

 

This is the sign of a very very insecure man. He is trying to put on a big show that he has the power, but he knows he really doesn't...that is why he is trying to mess with your mind. He is weak and ineffectual so that is the only way he feels competent. Don't take it personally...these are his issues not yours. If he did all the contacting and then turned around and said why are you always contacting me...then this is just plain and simple mind games...someone who is not in control at all. You are the one in control because you can be open and honest and say how you feel...you suggested to get back together...that means you have a healthy self-esteem and are not afraid of taking chances. It is not your fault that he behaves like a pompous ass. Instead of feeling humiliated by his attitude and actions, why not see HIM as the one who degraded himself, who showed himself to be a lesser human being because he doesn't know how to take the high road and treat people with respect. There are a lot of jerks out there in this world...don't let them poison your opinion of yourself.

[foreverlost]

I completely agree with you about him having problems.... I really think the cause for all of this was his problems, which I am clueless about. I think there's a lot of crazy things going through his mind that needs to be sorted out... he has been really unhappy and lonely since we have broken up, and I know this because of the way he has been taking care of himself... but I still don't know why he doesn't want to get back together. both him and I know that I make him happy and would do anything to do that...

 

Thank you all for your advice, really... you all saved me from humiliating myself. I can tell that whenever he comes online on msn and sees me online he is wondering why I am not messaging him... It's all such a silly game...

[foreverlost]

forever, he wants to keep you loving him. Thats the power aspect of things.

 

He will probably hate it if you just ignore him, so do that, let him stew in his own juice.... you deserve to be treated better than this.

 

Wow, thank you so much for your advice... how long has it been for you for NC?

[some-guy]

We want closure which is never going to come in a way that we want but we can find closure by No Contact. We want to be heard, want them to know the pain they've caused but they are never going to listen and if they do, they don't hear the words. What we often miss is the beauty of "No Contact." You are finally saying No More. It is your voice without the words but they hear it loud and clear as if you screamed from the top of your lungs - "Go to the Devil." No Contact is your pure and sweet rejection. It is empowering. It is your last word. It is your closure. It is one of the most hurtful narcissistic injuries you could inflict. They have finally come to understand you know just who and what they are. They know the tricks do not work anymore. They know you are no longer prey or a pawn in their game. It is your last word."

[sandyv]

Wow, thank you so much for your advice... how long has it been for you for NC?

 

 

 

I walked away from him over a year ago now, because of his issues...... I was heartbroken and loved him totally....

 

I was finally feeling somewhat better last March, he showed up here, and things started all over again..... but not the way I wanted them to be....

 

I've said good-bye to him, even thrown him outta my home, and he keeps coming back (but hey thats a whole new thread girl)

 

I still love him, he won't let me go, I'm so confused and lost.... who needs this either, its no good....

[-BK-]

do they EVENTUALLY contact you? because right now it feels like he won't... I think he loves the fact that I have stopped contacting him.

 

He may never contact you, but that's what you need to be OK with. If you aren't OK with that (I am not), you haven't healed all the way. It's a long process. But, everyone here is correct... texting him with how upset you are just gives him more power. He could be sitting back thinking "what a insecure loser". Do you want to give him the power to think those thoughts? You don't contact him, you get on with your life, and eventually you will feel good about you. If he ever finds out how you are doing (he may never), he'll no longer have the power because you have a better life without him.

[foreverlost]

we spoke on sunday and it seemed like he was out of his senses... he was purposely trying to piss me off and make me upset. I didn't realize this the day after when I actually thought about it... looks like I gave him what he wanted. after pissing me off, he said "ok now you're annoying me... just go" so I didn't say anything... and he said "say bye"... what the hell is wrong with him? then he would block me (this was msn) and then unblock me... I don't understand men!! aaggghhh.