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I Caught Her!!! That ... <mod edit>


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I finally caught her. She had been cheating on me for months. THAT was seeing someone from her graduate class. She was sending him pictures and talking to him on MSN.

 

I dont know what to do. THIS women ruined my life. I am so angry I dont know what to do.

 

 

My GOD I wanted to believe it was me .. but all along it was her....

 

 

ugh I am going to cry....

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At this point I would only suggest confronting her in a controlled and gentlemanly manner. Let her know you will stand up for yourself and that your life goes on and you control the outcome of your life, not her.

 

Nothing will drive her more insane then to see you act in a controlled confident manner and call her on her BS behaviours.

 

Its sucks and I sorry to hear you had to go through this. But its done and no amount of yelling at her, telling her what a so and so she is will change that.

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Yeah tried to... she hung up the phone on me and told me to go f*** myself.

 

Amazing...

 

I am so numb.

 

This is surreal

 

How long were you together? If anything be glad you found out what type of person she is now instead of 20 years from now. Little consolation but you have to try to find some positive out of this situation and use it to your advantage.

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I am sorry man. How come she responded so harsh, were you in a fight before this happened? I mean, she's the one who was cheating, if anything she should be sorry for the pain she caused in your life. I hope you will at least get some explanation from her. She has broken the trust, it would be very hard to continue a relationship at this point, unless it's what you both want 100%.

 

Take care. Keep us posted.

 

Arwen

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Well she has broken the relationship and there is not much you can do but except it as it is. It do not help to get angry about it, she will never tell you the truth, sow the best will be to try and forget the .... as soon as possible, you can do better than that. Show her by your actions you are not still hangup on her and that she just lost the best thing she had in life. Sorry to hear this. Hope you will feel better soon.

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I'm really sorry you had to find out the hard way. I've been in a similar situation and it's why I've always felt that you need to trust your gut...it is not always right but it's also rarely wrong.

 

At this point, I think you need to immediately cut her out of your life. You are angry and rightly so. You will want to lash out at her, and no one can tell you not to.

 

But I will tell you that as good as it feels, it will accomplish nothing. She is already reverted to a defensive mode and she will react to your anger with her own immature and ridiculous anger. No one likes to be caught in a lie.

 

I urge you to go strict NC immediately. Seeing you angry will only boost her ego, letting her know that she has power over you. It will give her some sort of masochistic satisfaction.

 

The most effective thing you can do is to just cut her out. Just plain do not give a damn what she does and what happens to her.

 

She thought the grass was greener and thought she could go see for herself in the worst possible way...by deceiving you. So let her see the consequences of her stupid decision...cut her loose and let her feel the loss.

 

I guarantee that after a few days, when the silence hits her the hardest, she will feel the loss.

 

And believe me, the grass is *never* as green as we think it is. Once the honeymoon period is over, when the newness and excitement of the deceit is over, she will find that things weren't as great as she thought. When she realizes she can't come running back to you, when that door is closed for good, she will be affected.

 

Possibly at that point she will reach out to you, try to apologize, try to see if she can still have an effect on you.

 

Between now and then, do your best to cut her out, move on and improve. When she reaches out...that's when you calmly tell her to f*ck off.

 

Again, I'm sorry that you had to find out this way. It sucks to be treated in a manner where you had no control and had no idea of the level of her deceit.

 

But now is the time to say 'No more' and to refuse to let her affect you any longer.

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you mentioned feeling numb......and it being surreal....

that's how I feel.....Like how could someone you knew so well can be so callus and cruel....strange how true intentions come out and everyone's true nature is revealed in the end. damn. you'll win out in the end though, and I have a feeling that things will turn out for the better for all of us....I have a cousin who was engaged to be married, even bought a house and eveything, rings and all that...........she cheated on him and he was totally devastated....but now he got orders to be stationed in Germany..and last I heard, he's loving life.......I hope something goood like that happens to me, but for now, I/we suffer a bit. So be it. if it means waiting for the light at the end of tunnel, I'll crawl through anything to get there. Those that understand this are already on top.....I know that my ex will keep on with her bad behaviors ( don't get me wrong, she was sweet girl and all) and I don't think she'll make any significant changes anytime soon. I hope she does.

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Whatever you do, don't give her a second chance. When my ex cheated on me, I gave him a second chance and I was always looking over my shoulder, checking on him, wondering why he's not answering my calls, etc. To always live in discomfort like that was terrible. When I finally let him go, after he cheated again, I was sad for a time, but I felt so good rebuilding my life without him, getting along just fine, thanks very much. You will too, just give yourself some time.

 

I finally caught her. She had been cheating on me for months. THAT was seeing someone from her graduate class. She was sending him pictures and talking to him on MSN.

 

I dont know what to do. THIS women ruined my life. I am so angry I dont know what to do.

 

 

My GOD I wanted to believe it was me .. but all along it was her....

 

 

ugh I am going to cry....

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