Approaching someone you like?

[littlestar]

I am not good at approaching people and always seem to make a fool of myself but that doesnt worry me as i never care what people think of me, i always pick myself up, dust myself off and try again.

 

My best friend has asked me advice on how to approach this guy she really likes and i dont want her to get a set back as she hates putting herself out there and being rejected.

 

My best friend really likes this guy she knows, she is a customer at his business, he knows her and she knows him, but it's all it has ever been a "hello, how are you etc" while she has been at his business as a customer. The other day her father went into get something and he asked about her and she was all excited that he had asked how she was.

 

I have told her to talk to him and maybe ask him out for a Xmas/New Year drink and she wont do it. She has written him a Xmas card telling him she "would love to get to know him more next year" and asked if i thought was this enough to let him know she likes him.

 

I am not so sure. Personally i would go right out and tell him but this isnt in her character to do it. What do you all think? Is it enough or will she have to say/do more?

[renaissancewoman101]

The card is a bit overkill, I think.

 

To me, I would just approach him and make small talk with him and then ask him out for a drink.

 

But then, I'm like that. If I like a guy enough, I don't always wait for him to make the first move.

[littlestar]

The card is a bit overkill, I think.

 

To me, I would just approach him and make small talk with him and then ask him out for a drink.

 

But then, I'm like that. If I like a guy enough, I don't always wait for him to make the first move.

 

I couldn't agree with you more. I am exactly like you. I am not scared to make the first move, after all what's the worst thing that can happen?? They say "no" I can think of a lot of worse things that can happen to someone.

 

I have tried to convince her to talk to him and ask him out but there is no way she will put herself out there. She thinks the card is the "safer" option.

[renaissancewoman101]

The guy might find it weird and "stalkerish" if she gives him a card telling him she likes him.

[Lucy_lou]

Yeah, I don't like the card idea. Even a card which says nothing but merry christmas alone is a bit weird for someone you're only on hello terms with. If she can't even talk to him now, what difference will it make later? If she can't talk to him now, she's not ready for the next bit, even if it did go all in her favour. What's she trying to achieve anyway? Does she want him to drive every converstation they ever might have? she's got to get over her shyness some time. Might as well be now, before she's made herself vulnerable.

[CandyKins]

It can either go terribly wrong or goes just great.

 

Approaching someone isn't has hard as you may think. People say it's difficult because they are under the delusion that it is.

 

I don't approve of the card. Instead have good eye contact and smile nicely. Talk for a bit then pop the question out in a causal way. If she declines then accept, say you understand and just smile - don't stare.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

mmmm i never had this problem beacuse i flirtied with everyone i liked(asked one out though sad i know)....the key is remembering that they are people, and this is your big chance........you dont want to regret things

[ghost69]

no card. keep pushing her to ask him. gotta be a party somewhere she needs a date for.