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My ex dumped me 2 months ago, said we weren't right for each other. V sudden and out of blue! I am in love with him but had never said it.

 

We see each other occasionally when on nights out and are friendly. Last Friday, he was v flirty and said a lot of things about how he really misses and likes me, wants to sleep with me etc. We did and spent the next day together. The Saturday night we spent together again, and I told him that I still loved him. He admitted that the reason he ended it was because he doesn't feel the chemistry that he thinks we would need for it to work out in the long run, but said that he loves me and we both shed a few tears. I think I remember him saying we can be like best mates who have sex, but I had had a bit to drink, can't recall exactly.

 

Next day, no mention of emotional (somewhat drunken!) conversation. We had sex again, and watched TV etc like we would have in the old days on a Sunday morning. He drove me home but there was just a 'See ya'; no kiss or anything. He did ask me if I wanted to come to his band's gig next week tho.

 

He hasn't called since, altho I don't expect him to. What I want to know is what should I do to turn this casual thing back into our relationship. I don't know if I should have been quite so open and needy on Sat night (should I be v carefree and not bothered about him??) but he was very sweet about it at the time.

 

Any help would be much appreciated

 

Sarah x

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You can't give him everything he wants without any of the commitment. He got out of you what he wanted and as long as that happens what reason does he have for having any real relationship with you. If he wants all the benefits make him… well for lack of a better way of putting this… make him pay the price. Don't just let him use you for the comfort and the sex or that's what he's going to do. Use you.

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