Jump to content

dealing w/ religious friends


Recommended Posts

well how to start this off... I'm a college student who's had some hard times making friends. Let's just say my freshman year i was really lonely. Anyway this semester I met some people at a dorm i'm staying at and they seem really friendly. That's the reason I like talking them so much, but they might be a little on the religious side. Most of them are really involved in a christian group on campus.


Over veterans day weekend i went down with this group to help build some houses in mexico and i enjoyed the trip, but all the religious stuff they did was really awkward. every day before we started building they would go around in a circle saying stuff like "lord let us finish this house" and "lord we pray that these families appreciate this house". I'm not christian and I've never been to church ever so it felt really weird being involved in that. then at night they would sort of do the "lets sing kumbaya" by the fire thing, but instead they would sing those worship or songs of praise you see on infomercials.


my problem w/ all of this is I feel in order to be really good friends w/ them I would basically have to join their group and stop being agnostic. they aren't pressuring me like "you've got to come to this meeting" but often i end up in these conversations where they talk about the bible or how they think god has touched their lives. I just can't relate to any of that, I've never even read the bible. over the break I plan to just so I have some idea what they're talking about, but I'd rather not have to change religions just to be friends with someone. should I stay friends w/ them and just start looking for more people to talk to? they seem perfectly fine in everyday settings when we hang out, but when they start talking religion it can be a big turn off sometimes. any ideas on how i should deal with this?

Link to comment

Oh trust me, what they're doing is nothing outrageous. They just seem like a bunch of people who believe in "GOD". They seem religious, but at least they're not the type of people who are pressuring you and questioning your every sin.


Have you told them that you don't believe in God?


If they are the nice people they seem to be, then they probably won't exclude, as long as you are honest with them. Like you said, you've never read the bible, so maybe this is a turning point for your life? It's OK to believe in God or not, whatever floats your boat. Maybe you should read into bible to see if it's something you enjoy believing in. A little faith never hurt anyone, and it has only helped. If you enjoyed doing these things with them, then you might even enjoy becoming more involved and actually start reading the bible and going to church? There are people out there who read the bible and don't believe, and only do it for the intelligence.

Link to comment

Hi Tom,


I can imagine it is most awkward, I am a Christian myself, and even I feel a little uncomfortable around some.


Your friends would hopefully not want you to take their religion just to fit in, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to either.


Talk to the closest one of them, maybe they could talk to the others, and see if they might not respect you a bit more and take topics etc. that would include you also.


I bet they have plenty of opportunities to talk about purely religious and scriptural things in their groups.


Good luck with it, you are a patient guy I'm sure.



Link to comment

Dude, if they're not pressuring you, I'd say they're nice people. The "fake-Christians" you need to look out for are the ones that are out to convert you. As long as you can be friends with these people and their religion doesn't negatively affect your friendship, I'd say try to stick with them.


If they start discussing religious things or it's uncomfortable for you, just politely excuse yourself from their company. It's not going to hurt their feelings, and if they ask why (assuming they don't get the obvious hint) then you can tell them. Having different beliefs isn't something that you should be shy about or feel pressured about. If they're true Christians they should have no problem accepting you

Link to comment

My take on these kinds of people are that they are very happy and they have received the greatest news of all time: they are going to heaven when they die. thereforeeee it makes sense that they would want all their friends to come along.


I'm not religious by the way - not organized religious that is (disorganized??)


Maybe you should look into it though. Pick up a bible (get one of those easy to read editions, in common english) and just have a look around. At the very least it would get them off your back a little.


however, I do firmly believe it is possilbe to be a good person without a religion.

Link to comment

I hope I don't sound callous when I say that our friends are normally reflections of ourselves - normally we choose friends who make us feel better about ourselves. That is what almost all relationships are about even tho to some degree that sounds selfish.


That being said, if i had friends who were religious to the extent it made me uncomfortable, i doubt they would be friends for very long. They would be downgraded to the casual aquaintence folder.


Life is too short to spend a lot of time with people who make you feel aggravated.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...