Girlfriend and orgasming

[ryan123]

I know this topic is out there...But I just wanted to personalize it.

 

Ok well me and my girlfriend have been dating for 9 months and she has an extremely hard time getting off. When she masturbates alone(which she doesn't do much anymore or even at all) she straddles a pillow and just kind of "humps" it I guess(iunno if thats normal). She says thats gets her off quickly within like 5 minutes, so I KNOW shes capable of cumming.

 

Everytime shes with me though she can never seem to cum. I do plenty of foreplay, talk dirty, hold off on cumming to the point where my penis hurts, and try and best replicate how she gets off alone and nothing most of the time.

 

She's always honest with me when I ask and apart from her normal loudness and moaning she doesn't really try and fake one.

 

Sometimes when I ask though she says "I think I did." I mean how do you not know? That just makes me question her integrity in the whole situation. That may be she wants to lie but doesn't want to so she says "I think," or maybe she just really doesn't know(I find very unlikely).

 

Other times she says she definitely did(this is a rare occurrence, maybe 10-20times outta the maybe 200 times we've fooled around in these past 9 months).

 

 

Last night for instance...She was mega horny and wanted to do it pretty much all day and finally got her wish at night time...Well I started rubbing her and kissing her neck and all that foreplay stuff(going down on her, fingering her and just touching her all over and talking dirty). Then after about 15 20 minutes of that she wanted to ride me. Well she was on top for about 20 minutes and it seemed like she came twice(she was squeezing me tight and moaning really loud and shaking and I felt it get really really wet and really really warmer than usual) iunno if that was a sign of cumming but I felt that happen twice. After she got up my thighs, genitals, and pelvic area were soaked... I asked if she did and she says "I think I did twice"

 

Iunno why sometimes its I dont know or I think I did or other times its I definitely did.

 

Iunno if im doing something wrong(she says im not and it all feels extremely good) but iunno to believe her or not...She says she has never came with anyone previous to me.

 

Im just confused and wanted some input...Shes always like "am I hurting you," "does this feel good," "blah, i just want to cum." And saying stuff of that nature and always asking if she looks fat or something...Im like you werent hurting me yesterday or the day before or the week before, im nost some small guy who you'll crush(shes not even big i dont understand).

[someguy88]

I made it my policy to never talk about orgasms with women unless they bring it up. I learned the hard way that a lot of women can't cum if they feel even the slightest inkling that you're waiting for her to cum.

 

I suggest you stop asking her if she came and only talk about it when she brings it up.

[ftheunion]

Keep in mind some women never do during intercourse. You are lucky. Don't keep asking her. It gets annoying to her I'm sure. Don't be attached to the fruits of action, it is action itself is enough. If you can physically tell, then you'll know that she did orgasm. If not, its just pleasurous to her. So don't beat a dead horse and enjoy.

[Snoopy24]

Well, I was in a 3 1/2 year relationship between 17-21 and another 3 year relationship between 21-23. I had lots of sex with both of them. ...but I didn't cum ONCE, with either of them.

 

Did I lie and tell them I did? Yea. That was probably wrong but I felt bad.

 

I have masturbated my whole life so I had my "way" of coming.

 

The only way your gf is going to cum is if she explores her body more by herself and figures out how to orgasm in other ways.

 

Now I cum every single time with the last three guys I have been with. And I can't come from just regular sex.(and alot of girls can't) I need to rub my clitoris. I rub it during sex. I know all girls are very different, but you should suggest that to her.

[ryan123]

The only way your gf is going to cum is if she explores her body more by herself and figures out how to orgasm in other ways.

 

Now I cum every single time with the last three guys I have been with. And I can't come from just regular sex.(and alot of girls can't) I need to rub my clitoris. I rub it during sex. I know all girls are very different, but you should suggest that to her.

 

I told her that she needs to stop using that pillow technique and get more acustomed to another way. She agreed but has stopped masturbating by herself all together...

 

I told her about rubbing her clit while we are having intercourse and she did it last night for the first time...I used to do it for her though.

 

For the other posters

 

I have since stopped asking her if she did or not and tried my best to assure her that as long as she was enjoying it. I didn't care if she came or not. I think this may be the key thing about her not cumming that often...Shes so considerate that she feels bad for not cumming right away and she always says "You can stop if you want..." or "I'm sorry" even when im not evening making any kind of signal that im getting bored or fustrated...Just like im not making any sign that im being "crushed" by her on top...Yet she still asks if shes hurting me while shes on top....ITS LIKE OMG YOU'RE TINY IN COMPARISON TO ME!!! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CRUSH ME!!!!!

[MushroomGod]

Obviously she gets off by clitoral stimulation. She can be on top and grind. Tell her you love it when shes on top and be like "O thats so good baby" that way she'll know you like it. Also you can do this little trick... When in the missionary position move up on her as far as you can that way every time you thrust you'll rub against her clit. In my experience doing that they'd get off in like 2 minutes.

[EQD]

thats it! YOU can be her pillow, but you can give her the added bonus of having your tool in her. Thats a great idea!

And you know you could tell her or show her how to stimulate herself with a finger and rub her clit.. she probably hasnt figured that out yet if she is still on the pillow technique.

I'd say in that situation you described before with her on top that she did cum, you can tell because the pelvic floor will contract multiple times around "you" this is pretty much like when you go, how it comes in contractions. Same thing.

[ryan123]

Equestrian - I dont know what you mean by pelvic floor, but if you mean if I felt contractions inside her vagina I didnt. She herself was squeezing me...I do know that if her vagina contracts that shes coming ive felt it while fingering her before... I also have mentioned that when shes on top its exactly like the pillow thing except its with a REAL PERSON who also has their penis in you. I think its not a problem with the technique as it is mentally for her to cum.

 

Mushroom - I've tried that moving up to the top of her and using your penis to rub her clit as its penetrating her after reading it in menshealth...I didn't really do it for a long period of time but she enjoyed it...I've only gotten her to cum by her being on top riding me while her or me is rubbing her clit. And one other time missionary.

 

I think this problem for her is all mental.

[EQD]

Sorry i didnt know exactly what you meant.. i still think she came though.

 

If you ever get the chance to have some body part of yours inside while she has an orgasm, all the muscles in her vagina contract and release from 1 to 6 or 7 times (speaking only from personal record). I think they are called Kegel muscles???? Not sure.. But it sounds like you have expirienced that before.. so no doubt she has probably came with you already.

They have excercises that women can do to increase the strength of these muscles to make the orgasm more pleasurable for her (and you!) and i think guys can do it too. If a woman knows her body she can do these excercises any time she wants and even during intercourse to increase your pleasure.

Ask her to squeeze you sometime.

[pesh]

There is a huge part of orgasming that is mentally related. Make her feel sexy and desired. I know that works for me, and I also have a hard time coming with my bf. I'll get so close, but never finish off. It seems that when he's telling me how beautiful and sexy I am, I have an easier time getting off. And also try not to focus on the orgasm itself, but rather on the good feeling and closeness you two feel.

Good luck!

[EQD]

pesh we have the same eyes, i thought that was interesting lol

[elveden]

I dont know what you mean by pelvic floor

 

Don't worry.. It worries me that I do tbh