i cheated while broke up and caught a std

[nevaeh]

hi, this is the first time on this site. I had been in a relationship with my ex boyfriend for almost a year. we split up a month ago and i had sex with someone else during that time. the guy i had sex with i didn"t even know i went out one night and got really drunk and had sex without a condom. now my ex boyfriend wants to get back together with me and i don't know what to tell him. i can't ever have sex again without using protection and i know he will wonder why. i am afraid to tell him that i was with someone else and i'm especially afraid to tell him i have a std.

[leo_s84]

You have to tell him you have an STD...Whether he wants to be with you after you tell him it's up to him, but it's your responsibility to let him know

[amtjrtcet]

I agree, you must tell him. He has a right to know.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yes, you have to let him know.

[rosephase]

I guessing you got herpes. Which has a lot of negative stigma, so I don't envy you telling your boyfriend. But you should do some research on it. Herpes doesn’t mean that having unprotected sex with your partner that he will automatically get it. Do you know if you have 1 or 2? 1 is mostly oral but you can get it genitally, and if you or your guy has ever had cold sores you probably have 1 already. It really isn't the end of the world, sexually. Getting an STD doesn’t make you a bad person. But not telling him is no good. So be honest do some research and hopefully it can be a growing thing for both of you.

[Snoopy24]

I guessing you got herpes. Which has a lot of negative stigma, so I don't envy you telling your boyfriend. But you should do some research on it. Herpes doesn’t mean that having unprotected sex with your partner that he will automatically get it. Do you know if you have 1 or 2? 1 is mostly oral but you can get it genitally, and if you or your guy has ever had cold sores you probably have 1 already. It really isn't the end of the world, sexually. Getting an STD doesn’t make you a bad person. But not telling him is no good. So be honest do some research and hopefully it can be a growing thing for both of you.

 

Umm, she didn't say which std she had. ...there are 100's of them.

 

But yea, you have to tell him.

[rosephase]

Umm, she didn't say which std she had. ...there are 100's of them.

 

But yea, you have to tell him.

 

But Herpes other then AIDS is the only incurable one. If it was chlamydia, or any number of others she would be able to get it treated and wouldn't have to worry about having unprotected sex with her partner.

[Fallen_Ally]

you didn't cheat if you were broken up, and you have to tell him!

[russ978]

You have to tell him.

 

It would, to put it simply, be horribly evil to not tell him and pass on an std to him.

[scarfoe]

i agree with everybody... U HAVE TO TELL HIM.

u dont want to start ur new relationship with distrust.

[lovecrazy]

You didnt cheat while you were broken up.

 

If it is herpes you do have to tell him. But if its something tha is curable then I dont know if you really have to tell him.

 

But if it HPV, and you have it. I would tell him.

 

I am not trying to be negative here, but its only your business who you sleep with when you are broken up and single....

[Hope75]

But Herpes other then AIDS is the only incurable one. If it was chlamydia, or any number of others she would be able to get it treated and wouldn't have to worry about having unprotected sex with her partner.

 

Don't forget Hep B & C, or HPV, there are no cures for those either.

 

Bacterial or parasitic infections are treatable and mostly curable, but viral infections, although they may be managed symptomatically, typically cannot be cured.

[Hope75]

Ultimately if you want to get back with your ex and plan to have sex with him, you will put him at risk to contract whatever STI you have. Even condoms does not protect 100% so he has a right to know about it and to make a decision as to whether or not he wants to take that risk.

 

I would recommend that to anyone with an STI, whether they are starting a relationship with someone new, or getting back with an ex.

 

And you did not cheat, so that does not apply here. I can understand it may be difficult tell him because you think he may feel hurt or turned off by it, but you have a responsibility to tell any future partners about it before you have sex with them.

[wiser]

Yes, the way the OP describes it, it's mostly likely Herpes.

 

You need to tell him and you need to have protected sex for the rest of your life, not only because of the STD, but to avoid unwanted pregnancy. You should have been using protection all along. Well, better late than never.

 

Thank goodness for Valtrex.