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I need to know if I am insane?


RIPDIME

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Ever since i've been young I have gotten some strange feelings sometimes that all I can describe them as, is being more than unearthly. However the problem I have with these feelings is that I have rarely or seldom heard of a similar case except for portrayals by artists who live halfway accross the world. In one way however these feelings are very much positive for me since they can be a really fine expression of imagination and artistry, something that I have been able to put into my metal music and artwork as being unique. However even those these feelings seem very wise and bigger than the world.. they still can be quite haunting and frightening especially since their is nothing to relate them to. Your probably wondering what I am getting at though? Well I will try to explain to explain them as realistically as possible...

 

There are three things that seem to stir these very strange emotions:

-Whenever I look at nature, especially an old forest, mountains or meadows etc I seem to associate them with many different emotions. It's as if I can feel the natures feelings and the time it has been part of on earth.

 

-Secondly I will go into an old house or a really haunting house and feel mysteries. Sort of like occult forces that don't seem real around me, powerful and overwhelming emotions of all time that are unexplainable and like I said extremely mysterious.

 

-Thirdly when I think of ancient history. I'll think of the Medieval times or even Roman times and really get some strange emotions. As if I can remember particular images from those times and again these unearthly feelings of mystery and the unexplainable. Yet it always is associated with these times particular places from them yet especially associated with the first two, such as dark forests or haunted locales.

 

I mean sure many people can relate to this. The reason why people go into nature is that they can see beautiful landscapes, sometimes even saying that they are "mythical landscapes". This rings true for me too. These landscapes are beautiful and seem mythical but it is just so much more. I associate stories with these landscapes. As in I can imagine a witch in a dark forest I walk through who has been their for thousands of years, which in turn (as i've mentioned) produces some occult and mysterious feelings inside of me. It's like I have too much of an imagination that I can put strange stories to things. To me I like to think of it as I can feel the forest speak or I understand nature better than anyone I know. Yet that sort of sucks when you can't explain this understanding.

 

However I will say that something did trigger this and inspire these feelings. I started listening to a genre of music called Black Metal. This music tends to use a lot of these emotions. Strange feelings associated with wilderness and the past.. This music uses an atmosphere to create these dark feelings, sort of trying to emulate walking through a snowy forest at night or how the vikings felt when they had to as well. This is really what sparked an interest in me, what really got me further into these emotions because they are more interesting than anything I can think of.

 

Unless anyone else knows what I feel, it must seem as if i'm insane and that's fine. I don't expect to get much help from this.. However if anyone has anything at all they can put in here of a similar experience, than it would help all the same since I won't feel as alone on these feelings as I do now.

 

Thanks for your time.

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I don't know you... I only know what you've written here... but from what you have written, you don't sound insane. You sound artistic and creative. That is a beautiful thing. When you become unable to separate your visions from reality, that is when it becomes more worrysome.

 

Do you draw or paint? Or write? It sounds like you may be developing a wonderful gift for expression and you might be very satisfied by a creative outlet like that.

 

I agree that music is an amazing muse though. I think it can definitely 'tune' you in to your own imaginative powers.

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I don't know you... I only know what you've written here... but from what you have written, you don't sound insane. You sound artistic and creative. That is a beautiful thing. When you become unable to separate your visions from reality, that is when it becomes more worrysome.

 

Do you draw or paint? Or write? It sounds like you may be developing a wonderful gift for expression and you might be very satisfied by a creative outlet like that.

 

I agree that music is an amazing muse though. I think it can definitely 'tune' you in to your own imaginative powers.

Thankyou, it's nice for a musician or an artist to hear this. Yet I definetly know the difference between reality and fantasy. I may go hiking to enjoy nature and experience these feelings but I do realize these are just feelings and imagination and that is all. I paint sometimes and draw although quite sporadically although I am devoted to playing guitar, keyboard and vocals in which I use these ideas for my band. Don't get me wrong either I incorporate those feelings into the music, lyrics and artwork and it's very beautiful, a wondrous creative outlet. Yet perhaps like Shakespeare these creative outlets can be strange at times too. He wrote about what I feel in a small way if you read a lot of his works.

 

I would need to know more about your background before I would even attempt to try to figure out the reasons you feel the way you do. I do not think insanity would be the proper term. However, magical thinking can sometime be the result of certain traumas.

Well.. i'm not sure if i'd want to talk about my parents on here, however my parents got divorced when I was young through terrible means. I've been shy through most of my life yet im getting better now.

 

And do you have any examples of magical thinking and trauma, because that is sounding very interesting.

 

It sounds similar to what some savants experience. Insanity is a difficult thing to define, I've heard that its merely a governmental term...even if psych people can diagnose it. You don't sound insane to me, though?

Do you mean autistic people or persons of knowledge in the 18th century, such as the enlightenment thinkers? No I don't think im literally insane, just that my thoughts are a bit unearthly.

 

I don't know you or feel the same way you do, but I don't think you're "insane". I think there are far more worse things out there that could haunt your mind, yet you think of "nature" and it's past.

 

Are you an artist? Do you paint landscapes and such?

Yes I love to paint landscapes very inspired by the music I listen to. For example heres something similar (I think this is a very haunting landscape, maybe typical of these emotions): link removed

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I actually really like it. I think you are very talented. I think what you have is a gift, and even if it makes you feel odd or different at times, you should love and embrace it.

 

I'm an artist myself. I love being able to see beauty in places that others take for granted.

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What you have is a gift. You were given creativity and an wonderful imagination. You are able to tell reality from fiction so I would say, No you are not insane. Insane would be your imagination running wild and you ACTUALLY believing that it is real.

 

I know the feeling you are talking about. Reading your post it could of been me writing it! I love to write stories from what I feel when I see certain things or places.

For example, the other day I saw this rundown house and started feeling everything that "might of" happened in that house.

 

You should write songs, poems, stories, etc. Or paint, draw, doodle, etc. Don't push your talent aside and think of it as being "crazy"

 

 

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RIPDIME,

From your first post, it sounds like you've been gifted with a deep sense of spirituality. Your mention of having feelings associated with periods in history reminds me of a book I read called "Many Lives, Many Masters", which discusses past-life therapy through hypnotherapy. If you're not cynical (and you don't sound to be) you'd probably find it very interesting: link removed

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