The cat or NC?

[lostmyworld]

Today was meant to be the day I go NC. My ex who left me moved out and today she was picking up her cat, after that I would never have to see or contact her again except to sort out the bills and if we bump into each other (wasn't planning to but inevitably it will happen).

 

Last night she text me about bills then asked if I would be prepared to keep the cat until she found somewhere proper to live. She is currently staying with a friend and her stuff is in storage.

I immediately agreed as I don't want the cat to go, I've always been very fond of her and since my ex left she has been someone to come home to. I was dreading saying goodbye. Also I know the cat would hate it where my ex is as she is old and doesn't like other cats and there are 2 kittens where my ex is staying already.

 

Since she left I haven't insigated contact at all. Mostly she has contacted me about house stuff but I have also had a few messages asking if I was ok and for the hairdressers number. See my previous posts to my reactions about thoses!

 

Now I'm worried that she will contact me to check up on the cat. I hate it when she contacts me at all as it brings everything back. She wants to be friends but I know for me to heal I can't do it. I previously told her not to contact me unless it was inportant.

Her last message yesterday ended with talk soon but I wasn't ever planning to speak to her again. At least not for a while. My only contact would be an email once the bills come through.

 

I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing I really want the cat to stay but I don't want it to put me back by her using it as an excuse to contact me and the fact that eventually in a few months she will have to come round to collect her. Although I wam sort of hoping her new place won't allow pets and she'll let me keep her for good. But she's already said she's had the cat for years and couldn't leave her with me, but then she might change her mind after a few months.

 

On a positive note although I miss my ex like crazy and want her back today is day one of the rest of my life! With or without her contacting me we no longer live together so I don't have to see her unless I've agreed it. No doubt there will be more tears to come but today I'm feeling ok just a little worried about future contact.

[Jeffrey2095]

Hi lostmyworld,

 

Oh, it is really a difficult situation and I sympathise with you.

 

(Glad to hear your positive outtake at the end of your post though, good for you. )

 

I am assuming that there is no third party who will board the cat?

 

I guess I would have to be firm, and say to her point blank that additional contact because of the cat is out of the question, and any further will maybe force you to give her back the cat, or kennel it, and the issue can be the bill for the kennel...

 

In any case I would be up front and firm, most likely, (hopefully) it will be enough for her to drop the issue.

 

It is a difficult "string" or attachment to break, but you certainly don't need additional contact and I would even board the cat, (temporarily... go off for a weekend, they will take good care of her..) and show her that bill if this persists.

 

Good luck in this and I hope it is resolved for each, congratulations on moving forward!

 

Jeffr

[CatsMeeoow]

Well I think you should keep the cat. The cat obviously gives you comfort but as Jeff said above - set up some ground rules. Just point blank say I'd love to keep the cat but I don't want it to turn into an excuse to contact me repeatedly as I am not ready for that.

 

I mean if the cat is old - then a thrid party stranger would be a great deal of stress as is boarding the cat.

 

I think it's the right thing to do regardless of who broke who's heart... she is trying to get a better place to keep the cat and it shows extreme kindness on your part caring for her until then.

 

I know this is all hard so hang in there!