Laura11111 Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 I'm not sure what forum to put this in. Please don't transfer this to the career forum because it's not about my career but about a person with a problem. My job is to support people with cognative impairments. One of the people I support has a memory of being sexually assaulted by someone she sees everyday. The memory really bothers her and she talks about it a lot. To make a long story short, the sexual assault didn't happen. She imagined it and it became real to her. So...what should I say when she's telling me about it? I've heard other staff say that we should be treating it as a real memory because, to her, it happened. That makes sense but, on the other hand, I don't want to reinforce a false memory that causes her so much pain. I'd rather help her to realize that it didn't happen. I don't know how to do that though. Any suggestions? Should I just change the subject when she brings it up again.
red_fox Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 That's a pretty difficult position to be in. Personally, I would treat it as a real memory because it is real to her. I would try opening up this topic and try whatever techniques you have for helping people to move past trauma they have experienced. Offering counseling and guidance would be your best bet. It would probably be very difficult to convince her that this memory isn't real.
dan39 Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Is her cognitive impairment psychological or neurological? If it's the former my personal opinion is that it would be healthier for her to receive some kind of psychotherapy to help her realise it's a false mempory, and why she has come to realise it as a real memory. There must be some kind of reason for her thinking of it as true. However if it's neurological then it's probably best to accept it as real, because there's little chance of her changing her mind.
Mythical_Suicide Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 How can everyone be certain that it never happened?
ghost69 Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 she says it never happened almost like denial. is it possible to contact the person that she says did it and confront the problem head on? if it didn't happen maybe use that person to help console her out of this problem. if it's true, well, i don't know where to go from there if you contact the aggressor.
Laura11111 Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 Is her cognitive impairment psychological or neurological? It's neurological. She has a developmental disability. How can everyone be certain that it never happened? Staff members were witnesses, she changed the story several times, and she often creates and modifies stories. I've witnessed her make-up or add to something that happened, several times and I've only been supporting her for three weeks. Also, there were no charges laid by the police who investigated the "incident".
Laura11111 Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 Geez, I hope I'm not saying too much. I don't want to breach confidentiality. I guess it's okay as long as I don't say her name, her location, or the name of the place I work for...right??? Hmmm...I'm taking my picture off...lol.
Daligal83 Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 Honestly, I think helping her deal with this is something that should be handled by a therapeutic counselor. Whether it happened or not, like others have said, it's real to her. Because of that, it has to be treated very carefully. I think a therapist would have the best insight as to how to approach this. I don't think that you should be taking on the responsibility of solving this on your own without that training (and if I'm wrong and you do have that training, please correct me).
Mythical_Suicide Posted December 8, 2007 Posted December 8, 2007 Geez, I hope I'm not saying too much. I don't want to breach confidentiality. I guess it's okay as long as I don't say her name, her location, or the name of the place I work for...right??? Hmmm...I'm taking my picture off...lol. I'd hate to know that someone who was trying to "help" me was posting my information out for random people to read and comment on without my knowledge.. Even if you aren't providing all the information, it's still enough for people to figure it out and i'm not sure about Canada, but here I believe you could probably get into trouble for doing so. (i almost got fired from my job as a store manager for posting about my job on a personal blog .. so, yeah, anything is possible.) When I think of "confidentiality" I think of being able to tell someone ANYTHING and them not going back to anyone, even family/close friends or in your case strangers and saying anything.
Laura11111 Posted December 8, 2007 Author Posted December 8, 2007 Honestly, I think helping her deal with this is something that should be handled by a therapeutic counselor. Whether it happened or not, like others have said, it's real to her. Because of that, it has to be treated very carefully. I think a therapist would have the best insight as to how to approach this. I don't think that you should be taking on the responsibility of solving this on your own without that training (and if I'm wrong and you do have that training, please correct me). I finished my psychology degree in April so I have some training but not nearly enough. I agree that a professional would be the best person to help her. The thing is, I don't know what to say when she's voluntarily opening up to me about it. A lot of you think that I should treat it like it really happened but, now that I have had more time to think about it, I'm not sure I can. I feel bad for the guy who didn't do it. They go to the same programs during the week and she's a chatty person. I can only imagine how many people she's talked poorly about him too. Even I had formed an opinion about him before I met him. I think I'm just going to change the subject when she brings it up again.
Laura11111 Posted December 8, 2007 Author Posted December 8, 2007 I'd hate to know that someone who was trying to "help" me was posting my information out for random people to read and comment on without my knowledge.. Even if you aren't providing all the information, it's still enough for people to figure it out and i'm not sure about Canada, but here I believe you could probably get into trouble for doing so. (i almost got fired from my job as a store manager for posting about my job on a personal blog .. so, yeah, anything is possible.) When I think of "confidentiality" I think of being able to tell someone ANYTHING and them not going back to anyone, even family/close friends or in your case strangers and saying anything. I'm going to check with my co-workers tomorrow. I might end up deleting this post because I don't want to get fired.
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