Dealing With NC and needing some HELP!

[girlyantics]

I wanted to thank everyone on ENA because I've made it this far with everyones advice. I wanted to hail the promoters of NO CONTACT because it truly is the only way to make yourself feel better.

 

In the last week of Oct. I received a txt message from ex about a show. It deeply disturbed me. I was not ready to receive some friendly message about a rock show. It made me angry. I maintained no contact because I felt how much a simple little message about nothing hurt me. Incredible isn't it?

 

A couple weeks later I received another txt about mail that had arrived at the apt (which we had shared and he kept). Again, I decided it didn't matter. I made the calls necessary to make sure every company had my new correct address. Went out and bought my magazine subs at the newsstand.

 

And finally, after feeling like I would never truly be free of him and the memories even after a few months I get a call from an insurance company about an accident he had been in while driving my car. F***! "I have contacted Mr. BLah, he tells me that the car is belongs to you..." said the voicemail as I cursed my damn luck. I didn't bother contacting him. I went straight to the source: my insurance company. I straightened everything out and everything is fine.

 

He hasn't tried to contact me since and I just desperately want to erase all memories and connections. I can't stand it. These last few weeks, with these little things popping up I feel hopeless and I feel like I'm gonna lose it. I know it has gotten better but at the same time I'm lost. Aside from his two texts I've kept NC since October. I'm not even tempted, it doesn't cross my mind as an option to contact him for anything. I'm still angry. I'm still hurt. And I hate that. I can't believe how scarred and damaged I feel from this relationship. I never dreamed it would cut so deep and I truly wish none of this had ever happened. Grrr! Feeling frustrated sucks! Bah. Well I just wanted to know how to get past the roadblocks.

I've been trying to get out, spend time with family, I work out 3-5 times a week, I'm eating healthier and I'm buying shoes. But all these things still seem like distractions. And when they are gone, I'm left alone at night and my mind always wanders back.

 

Does that stop? When does it stop? How long will it take? When do the random dreams go away? When does the person stop popping up in your mind everyday?

 

 

HELP!

[bustertypsy]

Hi girly,I don't know how long it is since the breakup or indeed the reasons why you broke up or who ended the relationship.I am not being nosey,just having that information would give me a better picture of your situation.

Anyhow you are doing all the right things in respect to NC.You can only control NC from your perspective.Unfortunately you have no control over his actions,but to ignore them.The insurance thing is a once off,but if he contacts you again,simply ignore him.Change your number if need be.It's obvious you want this guy out of your life,full stop.

 

As regards the thoughts running through your head at night,they are the side effects of a breakup.Just try and think ahead into the future rather than the past.Fantasise meeting a new partner who is all this guy wasn't.In time he will become a dot on the landscape and you will not think about him.

[girlyantics]

He broke it off in September a few days before my birthday. That bit bothers me terribly. I had to cancel a much anticipated party at our apartment. I felt like a fool. He broke it off because he said he wasn't in love with me anymore. He said that we were at a standstill and we weren't happy.

I worked really hard at NC in the beginning. I felt I couldn't do it. I know I won't ever contact him for anything and those three things that happened barely qualify as LC but they threw me into such a tailspin, along with the fact that there not one day that goes by that I don't think about the person.

But at this point I don't know what to do. I've had my better days when I feel free of it all but it generally feels like an eternal burden.

[BigTex]

I'm left alone at night and my mind always wanders back.

 

Does that stop? When does it stop? How long will it take? When do the random dreams go away? When does the person stop popping up in your mind everyday?

 

Next week will be 3 months of NC for me (and almost 6 months since I moved out) and the thoughts and dreams are still there. They are less intense and less frequent, but still there. The depth and intensity of your feelings is a reflection of the depth and intensity of your personality. It takes a big person to love someone else so completely. Keep going - it will get easier.