Can some women just not cum

[Jonboy582]

I was wondering, do some women just not cum?

 

Reason I ask is I was recapping our relationship with my ex and I I knew I could never make her cum which was hugely frustrating. I tried absolutely everything under the sun but she just could not. I would either get pushed away or stopped if she ever got close. I at first thought this was all down to me. But she just told me she really cant cum (she never said before). I knew I could please her alot but she never got the big crishendo.

 

This makes a hell of alot more sense if its true as my present gf after all my efforts with the ex I can make her cum relatively easily. And from what she told me she was not hyper sensitive or anything.

 

So was that true about my ex can some girls just not cum or am I doing something different now?

 

This is going to prove very embarrassing to me but I had to ask.

[Clementine orange]

Some girls can't, some girls aren't comfortable enough in their own skin to sort of "let them selves go" like that.

 

I'm guessing your ex was younger - 20 something.

 

This is one of the reasons why sex gets better in your 30s..40s...etc

 

Dont' believe me you peeps born in the 80s? Just you wait.

 

Back me up here gen Xers.

[wiser]

It's not that they aren't physically unable. Its just that some women need more stimulation than others, or have emotional issues that interfere, or their sexual history hasn't been very conducive towards satisfaction...So they "can't cum" but not because they aren't capable of it...if that makes sense.

[BellaDonna]

I would either get pushed away or stopped if she ever got close.

 

It sounds like your ex may have suffered from some psychological issues regarding sex/pleasure, or at the very least, had some major hang-ups about sex in general.

 

do some women just not cum?

If your ex put up a barrier like that and/or did not communicate or know what she needed to achieve an orgasm , then she may never have one.

 

So the short answer is to your question is "yes".

[woebegone]

Yes, some women are inorgasmic. Others can orgasm but don't realize their potential and are too shy to explore their bodies. In the latest issue of Cosmo (yeah, not the most reliable source, but still interesting) they polled 1,500 women and found that only 70% have orgasmed from intercourse. Only 33% orgasm every single time (foreplay included). And 69% have faked orgasms. So, just to give you some perspective.

[doyathink]

every woman is different too. What you do with one woman, may not work with another. It's all about learning how HER body works. Not every woman can in the same way the next can.

[pinkelephant]

i couldnt cum before i lost my virginity. when i lost my virginity, i guess lost something emotionally .. after that, i cum very easily.

[JadedStar]

It's not that they aren't physically unable. Its just that some women need more stimulation than others, or have emotional issues that interfere, or their sexual history hasn't been very conducive towards satisfaction...So they "can't cum" but not because they aren't capable of it...if that makes sense.

 

This is true....AND ALSo some women just are not ever able to let themselves go. They lacked the ability to just lose themselves in the act and insecurity or being uptight, tense, or whatever during sex just totally impeded their ability to go for the big O. All the stimulation in the world just can't get them to release. Men are able to release SOOO much easier than most gals. I do believe pressures from society on body image at least plays a smart part in this if not a large one.

 

This is the same exact reason more older women can cum more readily than younger women. They loosen up and are able to be comfortable with who they are, flaws and all, where younger women are usually more uptight with looking perfect 24/7 and they can't relax and let it all hang out.

[Nixee]

I think it is definitely possible, however I'd more likely believe that she CAN orgasm, but just has a hard time doing it. This can be psychological (tense, nervous, past experiences) or just a physical thing similar to how some people are ticklish and some aren't. (hrmm... I dunno... is that physical or another psychological thing? haha.. never figured that out)

 

Being a woman and owning a woman's goods, from my own experience, it happens a lot easier once you have learned how to use what ya got. If you are aware of what turns you on the most, and really comfortable with that, it happens much easier.

 

Then again, some days it just won't be happening. My own body tends to go up and down like the tides depending on where I'm at in my cycle. There are days when it is a struggle, and other days when it hardly takes more than a lustful look for me to melt.

 

Pfft... women... confusing, complicated creatures

[Lucy_lou]

Well if she couldn't even make herself orgasm, then I wouldn't like the chances of some guy to do it for her.

 

For a massive, comprehensive study into the sexual responses and orgasmic experiences of hundreds of women interviewed in depth, see Sheree Hite's book, the Hite Report on Female Sexuality. Interesting last time I looked.

 

Another thing, an obvious thing to point out is that if by sex you mean intercourse, then remember intercourse is designed to make the guy orgasm, but not the woman. If our clits were located up inside our vaginas, then it'd be mutual, but as it is they aren't. But I guess we all know that.

[Medguy8311]

Its even more frustrating when a woman can come from oral, but not from you!

 

Current gf can orgasm from the first way, but not so much from the second. I hear that the two orgasms are of a fundamentally different type, so that may explain it. I think some of it may be with feeling comfortable enough to let herself go in that situation, but its easy to take personally!

[Lucy_lou]

Its even more frustrating when a woman can come from oral, but not from you!

 

Current gf can orgasm from the first way, but not so much from the second. I hear that the two orgasms are of a fundamentally different type, so that may explain it. I think some of it may be with feeling comfortable enough to let herself go in that situation, but its easy to take personally!

 

 

Hey Medguy, it kind of looks like you didn't see my post which was just before yours. About the location of the clitoris. Like, imagine if women always only wanted to have sex with men's elbows and not their penises, do you think the women should get offended that the guys didn't orgasm from having their elbows done, when they know good and well that it's the penis that wants the attention?

 

there is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. The only way women can orgasm from penetration is from the indirect stimulation of the clit, so of course oral is going to do the trick. Even if your penis were made out of gold, it wouldn' make a difference if it's aiming at the wrong spot. Admittedly, the clitoris has nerve endings which extend into the vagina, but it's still that outer hood area that is the target area for orgasm (as well, of course as the brain, the real sex organ). but as often as these things are explained in black and white men still persist in taking it personally when their god almighty penis fails to bring about orgasm in a woman through penetration. penetration has a lot of things that a lot of women love. but that doesn't make it the path to make them orgasm, and never has.

[Jonboy582]

Some girls can't, some girls aren't comfortable enough in their own skin to sort of "let them selves go" like that.

 

I'm guessing your ex was younger - 20 something.

 

This is one of the reasons why sex gets better in your 30s..40s...etc

Yes we are younger/equal to 20 and the other girl was 21 almost 22 and more experienced

there is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. The only way women can orgasm from penetration is from the indirect stimulation of the clit, so of course oral is going to do the trick. Even if your penis were made out of gold, it wouldn' make a difference if it's aiming at the wrong spot. Admittedly, the clitoris has nerve endings which extend into the vagina, but it's still that outer hood area that is the target area for orgasm (as well, of course as the brain, the real sex organ). but as often as these things are explained in black and white men still persist in taking it personally when their god almighty penis fails to bring about orgasm in a woman through penetration. penetration has a lot of things that a lot of women love. but that doesn't make it the path to make them orgasm, and never has.

Was just about to post back to you bout this lol. Yer I know about where all the nerves go that need stimulating and everything. I now know I was going for the right spot as the girl I was with (broke up this morning we had taken things too quick) would come. And as for oral every time she got close she might shake a little but would push me away and say it was too much. Either she just had a mini O or I don't know was afraid to finish up or for some reason she hit a barrier and it became painful instead of pleasurable.

[Zorba]

Hey Medguy, it kind of looks like you didn't see my post which was just before yours. About the location of the clitoris. Like, imagine if women always only wanted to have sex with men's elbows and not their penises, do you think the women should get offended that the guys didn't orgasm from having their elbows done, when they know good and well that it's the penis that wants the attention?

Good way to put it.

 

there is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. The only way women can orgasm from penetration is from the indirect stimulation of the clit, so of course oral is going to do the trick. Even if your penis were made out of gold, it wouldn' make a difference if it's aiming at the wrong spot. Admittedly, the clitoris has nerve endings which extend into the vagina, but it's still that outer hood area that is the target area for orgasm (as well, of course as the brain, the real sex organ). but as often as these things are explained in black and white men still persist in taking it personally when their god almighty penis fails to bring about orgasm in a woman through penetration. penetration has a lot of things that a lot of women love. but that doesn't make it the path to make them orgasm, and never has.

It really does depend on the woman. I had an ex that could orgasm from stimulation(with finger) of a deep spot inside her vagina towards the back, with no clitoral stimulation. In fact she often came quicker that way than with clitoral stimulation. That made her orgasmic from just vaginal intercourse too. She also said it felt like a different orgasm. It had different symptoms even to me not having it.

 

I knew another woman who came more readily from anal than either vaginal intercourse or clitoral stimulation. I've also known women that required clitoral stimulation for any chance of orgasm. Now given that I'm neither a "sex god" or have slept with that many women, I am surprised how much women vary. Even so only one of them couldn't come or it was more difficult for her with just intercourse.

[Jonboy582]

I knew another woman who came more readily from anal than either vaginal intercourse or clitoral stimulation. I've also known women that required clitoral stimulation for any chance of orgasm. Now given that I'm neither a "sex god" or have slept with that many women, I am surprised how much women vary. Even so only one of them couldn't come or it was more difficult for her with just intercourse.

 

I'm pretty sure the deep spot your talking about is the G-Spot which if I remember correctly (don't quote me on it) is actually linked to the clitoris. And as already said the virginal wall shares some of the same nerve endings as the clitoris. Co-incidentally in anal sex you end up pushing against this virginal wall from the other side thus stimulating them again.

[Nixee]

I think there *is* such thing as a 'vaginal orgasm', I just think it actually involves more than just the vagina so it is a bit of a misnomer. For some women, yes, G-spot stimulation is a huge factor. And for some others, some light stimulation of the clit at the same time does the trick.

 

The vagininal penetration can feel completely awesome by itself, as can the clitoral stimulation... but the two together can be the real winner - the eyes-rolling-back-into-the-head kinda orgasm.

 

I know some guys get sorta disappointed if they can't get a woman off just by penetration, and they feel inadequate if the woman wants to be rubbed (or even rub herself) down below during, but this doesn't mean anyone is inadequate or doing anything wrong. For many women, this is just the best way to make her arrive. It isn't about ability... it is about biology and knowing how your stuff works.

[EQD]

I will have to disagree with alot of your guys posts.

 

For one it sounds like the poster is talking about me *blush* but probably isnt so i am good.. anyway i have the same problem in bed.

I can orgasm and multiply, my ex was a freaking god at it. Nothing else could compare, but when it came to actually cumming it felt alot different. And i would always always hold it back because it was embarrassing, i will say its because the woman may have been tense or something. There has only been a few times that i have allowed myself to do it but i CAN orgasm without it. But oddly my normal orgasms unless i have a few of them in a row i dont produce any lube if you will, so those are more like psuedo-gasms lol.

But it still feels just as good

 

Every lady is different you know.

[Jonboy582]

Ex1 Didn't even Orgasm let alone cum, I found out from her she said it got painful Ex2 Did both.

 

Oh and don't worry not talking about you they both at work right now lol

[EQD]

Ex1 Didn't even Orgasm let alone cum, I found out from her she said it got painful Ex2 Did both.

 

Oh and don't worry not talking about you they both at work right now lol

 

Oh god now i really do think you are talking about me! I'm at work right now lol!

But i did orgasm so that leaves me out heehee

[wiser]

Its even more frustrating when a woman can come from oral, but not from you!

 

It happens quite freqently. It doesn't have to be frustrating, but it might be less favorable to the guy, who, after sex, wants to roll over and sleep, rather than performing cunnilinguis.

[Zorba]

I'm pretty sure the deep spot your talking about is the G-Spot which if I remember correctly (don't quote me on it) is actually linked to the clitoris.

Not this one this was on the opposite side to her g spot and at the back. The G spot is just inside the vagina towards the front and while has some link to the clitoris is better looked at like a vestigial prostrate. Hence in some women it can be "milked".

And as already said the virginal wall shares some of the same nerve endings as the clitoris.

Not quite. The clit is quite a large structure that extends down and around the opening to the vagina. Women feeling pleasure and orgasmic due to girth in the penis are getting a lot of the stimulation from that. Length in the penis(or fingers) hits different areas towards the back of the vagina. The vaginal walls themselves lose much of their touch sensitivity after the first couple of inches in the aroused state. The aroused state is a lot of it. Even women who find it hard to orgasm from intercourse alone are much more prone to do so if the man has already brought her to one orgasm already.

Co-incidentally in anal sex you end up pushing against this virginal wall from the other side thus stimulating them again.

Yes but far away from the clitoris. Indeed in most cases anal is a rear entry affair where there is no clitoral stimulation. Unless the woman attends to that herself(or the man can reach).

 

While I agree men should know about the clit(a scary amount have no clue) and how that is very very important for a woman's pleasure, there are other ways to add to that stimulus in many women that can lead to orgasm and can certainly increase the intensity of same. Intensity of orgasm can vary a lot with the same woman. With a very intense one, women can be like men after orgasm and not want any more stimulation as it's too intense. In that case leave the obvious well alone and concentrate on carressing the rest of her. That can lead to aftershocks, which are nice.

 

It can also be more of a mental thing with women and some women can even orgasm just by thinking hard about it and conversely can have difficulty reaching orgasm because of a mental block.

 

Men are much simpler by comparison. I know I am.

[ghost69]

yes. some girls do not have nerve endings in their womanly parts. but i've heard these women can cum with the thought of getting off enough.

[Zorba]

It happens quite freqently. It doesn't have to be frustrating, but it might be less favorable to the guy, who, after sex, wants to roll over and sleep, rather than performing cunnilinguis.

I figure the best plan and the way to always go is to get her off first. You'll both be happy and she may even hit the peak again.

[Zorba]

yes. some girls do not have nerve endings in their womanly parts.

Maybe I've been very lucky, but I've not known a woman like that.

but i've heard these women can cum with the thought of getting off enough.

Sadly I've been equally unlucky as I've not met one of those yet. A friend did though. Lucky for her as he would be the lazy type in general...

[Inspirational]

It sounds like your ex may have suffered from some psychological issues regarding sex/pleasure, or at the very least, had some major hang-ups about sex in general.

 

What does psychological issues have to do with a woman not being able to cum?

 

I just think he wasn't giving his ex enough stimulation. It all depends on the sensitivity of a womans clitoris. I can never "cum" from just the thrusting of my boyfriends penis. I have never had an orgasm caused by the g-spot, that I know of? However, if my bf plays with my clitoris, then I will always have an orgasm, and it makes for better sex beforehand because of the sensitivity...It feels great!

 

If your ex put up a barrier like that and/or did not communicate or know what she needed to achieve an orgasm , then she may never have one.

 

So the short answer is to your question is "yes".

 

I agree that she may have needed to communicate with him more. But that could all do with her having a 'lack' of experience in the bed. Most women are afraid to talk about sex when they are very new.

 

I think he should've given her more time or maybe even provoked the conversations himself. Hopefully, in her other relationships she will grow some skin and tell her mate what she wants in bed, because if she doesn't, then she will be missing out of complete ecstasy!