bad vibe

[Stinkweed]

Is it even worth pursuing or thinking about it if I get a bad vibe (same vibe I get every time... and it can't be good, cause I always get rejected) from it, tomorrow is probably the last class we'll have together, and she might not even show up, and it's only been like 3 days since I started feeling real ("crush-like") interest towards her, and I've never really talked to her to boot? I have no idea if she's interested, probably not, cause she acts no different from 4 out of the 5 girls I've ever asked out, and all of them have turned me down, she's pretty quiet almost all of the time, like 3 out of those 5, too. Just makes me believe it's not worth thinking about. Today I thought about talking to her and trying to see if she was interested (i.e. not in a "hurry", not cold, etc), but not so much did I chicken out than just plainly feel like doing nothing (plus she kinda took off with her friends before I took off). So, if it's worth giving a shot, any ideas on how to not go too out of my way to do it (I do have a class to get to right after that class).

[toshiba]

How are you going to talk to her and see if she's interested? Does her responding to you indicate to you that she's interested? How are you planning on determining that?

 

And how, if you have to go to class are you planning on determining that in such a short period of time?

 

And why do you seem so hell-bent on setting yourself up to fail?

[wiser]

Be honest with yourself. You wanted to talk to her, you know there are only a few opportunities left, but you opted not to approach her, because you "didn't feel like it". C'mon. The first step is to admit that you've got a problem, then you can deal with it.

[Stinkweed]

How are you going to talk to her and see if she's interested? Does her responding to you indicate to you that she's interested? How are you planning on determining that?

 

Ok, there's really now way to know 100% for sure except getting a yes or no from her if I ask her out, I know that. But you can still tell a lot about a person by their actions. If she isn't really interested, instead of standing and talking for a bit, she'll walk fast to her next destination and say she has to go. It's just how we shut doors on people... When we aren't interested, we shut these doors. Of course there's a timing issue...

 

 

And why do you seem so hell-bent on setting yourself up to fail?

 

Not really hell-bent on setting myself up to fail. Just talking from experience. I know nothing else, but what I have experienced and what I've seen. I can't help the bad vibe I get. I've forced myself to do it before even though I had it, just thinking maybe my gut was wrong, but I guess it wasn't.

 

And how, if you have to go to class are you planning on determining that in such a short period of time?

 

there's that timing issue again... Main reason I believe I should just forget about it, which shouldn't be too hard considering I've only felt crushy for not very long. I mean, I had always thought she was attractive as hell, but that won't just cut it when it comes to me getting interested...

[Stinkweed]

Be honest with yourself. You wanted to talk to her, you know there are only a few opportunities left, but you opted not to approach her, because you "didn't feel like it". C'mon. The first step is to admit that you've got a problem, then you can deal with it.

 

Oh I know there is a problem. I've gotten though it before, and it usually takes a while to build the courage, but this time it feels like it's not even worth a try. If success was a farfetched concept on those other occasions, then it's preposterous for this one. And to add to that, I'm very stressed out lately, and don't think being late to that class would be a good idea, considering my less-than-optimal performance there so far.

[wiser]

Oh I know there is a problem. I've gotten though it before, and it usually takes a while to build the courage, but this time it feels like it's not even worth a try. If success was a farfetched concept on those other occasions, then it's preposterous for this one.

 

You're starting to piss me off. Take that negativity and show it the door. It's not going to get you anywhere except alone.

 

At the very worst, she says no, or even laughs. At best, there's something about you that clicks with her and she says yes. At least you tried, and you have that much more experience under your belt, and you won't be angry at yourself for not making the effort.

[Stinkweed]

You're starting to piss me off.

 

Hey I'm not making you read. I too have been on the "be positive" side and on the "man, you've got nothing to lose, go get her, else you'll regret it later" side. That was years ago when I still read and posted on these topics, and I gotta say that I do indeed feel like a hypocrite now.

 

That aside, I guess if there's a good opportunity (i.e. something serendipitous like being dismissed early from class, or maybe getting out of the classroom at the same time, or walking towards the classroom at the same time, whatever), I'll probably give it a try. Cause like I said, I really can't go too out of my way. I'm getting slapped around by my classes, and the class after that one is probably the one I have the biggest shot at an A on, and it's still only like 1 out of a 1000000000.

[wiser]

Hey I'm not making you read.

 

I said that to put emphasis on what I wrote afterwards. I am not really pissed off, just frustrated reading about how you are going to lose what could be an opportunity to meet the woman you would have married some day.

 

That's all.

[Stinkweed]

I said that to put emphasis on what I wrote afterwards. I am not really pissed off, just frustrated reading about how you are going to lose what could be an opportunity to meet the woman you would have married some day.

 

That's all.

 

Ok, I apologize for the misunderstanding. Still, it's academics first... what papa always says. I promise that if there's some semblance of an opportunity, though, I'll do something.

[wiser]

I promise that if there's some semblance of an opportunity, though, I'll do something.

 

If there's a girl, there's a semblance.

[Stinkweed]

If there's a girl, there's a semblance.

 

Ok, let me hear, what should I do? It's just that I'll have to think about it very well before being late to that class... again (it's happened before, because I've had to stay talking to the professor from the previous class).

[ghost69]

even given your past experience asking girls out, have some confidence in yourself. thinking you are going to fail displays the opposite.

[Stinkweed]

I guess... I had the worst day of my life and my head is about to explode, and it just seems like this just faded away to a faraway background.

[Stinkweed]

Ok, worst day of my life over. I've cooled off a bit, so I'm feeling a bit better.

 

So yeah, I didn't talk to her, and probably never will. I mean, if she does show up tomorrow for the professor's review lecture, I guess I'll do something. I mean, it really depends on her leaving early, with friends, etc... I mean, I would dare talk to her if she's with a couple of friends, but dunno how I would go about asking her out. It just seems like talking to a group of people and asking her out, exclusively, might seem awkward if not done correctly.

 

Anyway, that's it, I don't wanna think about this too much, cause it's not important. I've already said too much.

[Stinkweed]

You're way overthinking this whole thing. You gotta make a move, the question is, what move to make...

 

Try this...get to class after her, and sit behind her. If someone is in the desk that you need, have $10 ready, and slip it to them and ask them to move. Sometime during class, reach down under her desk and tie her shoelaces together. At the end of class, get ready, and when she stands up, tries to take a step, and goes sprawling, you can be there to hopefully catch her before she hits the floor.

 

While she is recovering from the shock and confusion, quickly untie the knot in her shoelaces. You will be her savior, and she will be very open to your suggestion of a date.

 

dude, you're funny. Chucky's a rascal, I tell you. I always found it funny (in a good way) how crazy he got when he was pissed in the Child's Play movies.

[Stinkweed]

I should add that if you aren't fast enough to catch her before she hits the floor, keep walking. And hope that no one remembers who was sitting behind her.

 

 

haha, you're crazy man (in a good/fun kinda way). Sounds like something that could be on family guy.

[Stinkweed]

whatever, I'll see what I'll do in the scenarios mentioned above.

[Stinkweed]

So yeah, my gut was right... I should've listened to it. But then again, nobody reads this. People will say it was my negativity that made up some bad energy or some mumbo jumbo like that... But I could feel it, man. I always can. I think I might post a follow-up.

[wiser]

So yeah, my gut was right... I should've listened to it.I think I might post a follow-up.

 

Things didn't work out. Too bad. Well, you can't say you didnt try.

[Stinkweed]

Things didn't work out. Too bad. Well, you can't say you didnt try.

 

Well, yes, but it just somehow feels like I didn't learn anything from the occasion. I asked her out, even though I hesitated, cause I could feel it... she acted just like those 4 out of the 5 (the fifth and last one before this one was a special case... that one I entirely know it was my fault. She acted totally different, and she couldn't have been more explicit with her gestures... I'm convinced that had I not been so flabbergasted and done something at the right time, she wouldn't have turned me down. But oh well, who says it would've even gotten past first date?) other girls I've asked out as I conversed with her (smiling, eye-contact... those things I thought meant anything 2 years ago, but now don't mean a thing anymore, especially when I can tell before I even talk to them that they're probably not interested, the gut feeling I felt). It's all in the statistics. I know it's a small sample, but I have yet to see things work to believe... I don't know how to ask another type of girl out. There's 2 types: The ones that aren't aware of my existence 100% of the time, and the ones I notice sneaking in a stare or two from time to time (like this girl).

 

I feel like a total buffoon cause the whole thing was so ridiculous! I mean, come on, last time I'll probably ever see her after an entire semester of being in the same class? What was I thinking? This is the reason why I wish I had just let it go... I really need to do that some day, just to see what it is like... I never just let things go, and end up feeling like an a very specific type of donkey.

[Stinkweed]

and by the way, I did not tie her shoe laces together or anything of the sort. Just the same routine as always... lol.

[wiser]

I feel like a total buffoon cause the whole thing was so ridiculous! I mean, come on, last time I'll probably ever see her after an entire semester of being in the same class? What was I thinking? This is the reason why I wish I had just let it go... I really need to do that some day, just to see what it is like... I never just let things go, and end up feeling like an a very specific type of donkey.

 

Sorry you feel that way. I still think if you hadn't taken the shot you would be kicking yourself right now for not trying, and probably have yourself half convinced that maybe she would have said "yes" and you blew a golden opportunity.

 

At least you don't have to wonder what she might have said, and I stand by my opinion that you did the right thing by trying.

 

And maybe next time you'll act sooner, rather than later, since you were able to conclude that might make a difference:

 

I'm convinced that had I not been so flabbergasted and done something at the right time, she wouldn't have turned me down.

[Stinkweed]

And maybe next time you'll act sooner, rather than later, since you were able to conclude that might make a difference:

the fifth and last one before this one was a special case... that one I entirely know it was my fault. She acted totally different, and she couldn't have been more explicit with her gestures... I'm convinced that had I not been so flabbergasted and done something at the right time, she wouldn't have turned me down.

 

Sorry I wasn't being very clear... ugh, I hate it when I do that... Or maybe I'm misreading what you posted? I dunno. But just wanted to say that the "fifth girl" you quoted me on isn't the same one I asked out yesterday. The one from yesterday would be the 6th. The fifth was about a year ago, already, but still remember and sometimes wonder if I will ever get an opportunity like the one she gave me, ever again. But it's ancient history.

 

Either way, I did still ask this one kinda late, but she never really showed any interest per se, pretty much none of them really did. I mean, back when I knew less, I thought they did, but nah. And a reason was because up until about 2 months ago, I wouldn't even look at girls... I was pretty depressed. I'm doing better now, still some ups and downs, but more stable I guess.