*sigh* another myspace dilemna

[MustbeNuts]

Ok... I hate this...

I was playing around doing a search one day (about a year ago) of friends and family. (basically killing time at work) and found a generic myspace page of my boyfriend. He had what I had.. an account to look around but no actual page set up... just his age name and location. I bookmarked it for some reason and looked at it from time to time but he never accessed it for over a year. No biggie..

 

Well last week sometime I just happened to look at it and he actually had a page up. Just basic.. put his picture.. and a couple of blogs about thankgiving. His status set at "single" but nothing really noteworthy other then that.

 

It bothered me a lot about the "single" status but I wasnt going to confront him or even bring it up (and he doesnt know that I am aware of his page)

 

So after a few days he added his sister and she basically said "about time" so im thinking she talked him into making the page. In one of his blogs he does make a reference to me (my nickname)

 

So i wasnt going to let it bother me.. but it did sit in the back of my mind.... I thought "ok.. I will give him time to tell me about the site"

 

He has some goofy songs on his page.. songs noone else would even think of having.. One in particular plays everytime you access the page and it was one he had played me before a long time ago. So i thought Id play it for him on the phone, to see what he would say.. he said "where did you find that" I said "I was looking around and found it.. how long has it been since you listened to that one?" and he said "oh.. i dont know.. been awhile I guess" .... Which was a total lie.. he has it on his page and hears it everytime he logs into it..

 

So ?? Does he not want me to know about the page? What do I do at this point?.. I know if i confront him he will tell me.. but will he think Im spying on him?? I am just at a loss here.. he has 2 friends on his page.. his sister and some gal that left a "hey its been while how have you been" and thats about it...

 

I dont know... I feel kinda sick about it all.. but not sure if I should just let it lay and see what happens..

Advice please

[Hope75]

Rather than dancing all around it why don't you just ask him about it?

 

Tell him you noticed he has a MySpace page up and that his status says "single".

 

Ask him what it's all about.

[Daligal83]

I don't think it can be considered stalking if he sets up a public page for people to see. And since you have an account there too, which I'm assuming he knows about, it's not so weird that you found his page.

 

I agree with Hope. Just mention casually that you saw his page and were wondering why it says single on it. Don't make a big deal out of it or accuse him of anything, but just see what's going on.

[euphgirl91]

Although I can't be sure that he didn't lie to you about the song, it doesn't play every time you log in. It only plays when you view your myspace page, so it is quite possible that he hadn't heard it in a while.

 

I think you should bring it up, just that you came upon his myspace page and saw it was set to "single" under the relationship category. By the way, does he know about your myspace? If he doesn't, what's the difference of him having a profile that you don't know about and him having one you weren't previously aware of.

[MustbeNuts]

I dont really have a myspace page.. You have to sign up to do more advanced searching and I was looking up old classmates.. So my page is more my first name and age.. no pic, no other info.. generic and could be anyone. So no... I didnt tell him about it.. I had it set up years ago and then never did anything with it. The site I DO use and blog on, he knows about.

 

He set up his page about a week ago I think.. but the songs he added a few days after. Once I saw it I thought "oh cool , hes doing something with it" and checked back to see how it was coming along. So the song is new.. he did skirt the issue there

[Mavis VDSande]

I agree with others - why beat around the bush? Just ask him! myspace is myspace, don't take whatever he puts on too personally (within reason of course). At the end of the day he is in a living breathing rels with you!!

[shygirl23]

Do you know the EXACT same thing happened to me about a year ago?

 

Exactly!

 

Only instead of just the "status" set to single, my (now ex) bf had put up a survey that also said he was single. No getting around that one.

 

I signed up and made one that day and sent him a MySpace message asking "Since when are you single?!" Wasn't he surprised!

 

He changed it right after and made up a nice little explanation lie.

 

He said he didn't want to tell me about the page because he knew that I didn't like MySpace, which was true, but the rest of his story didn't check out.

 

Not saying your guy is malicious, not at all. Merely observing a quirky coincidence.

 

 

 

Ha.

[ghost69]

I dont really have a myspace page.. You have to sign up to do more advanced searching and I was looking up old classmates.. So my page is more my first name and age.. no pic, no other info.. generic and could be anyone. So no... I didnt tell him about it.. I had it set up years ago and then never did anything with it. The site I DO use and blog on, he knows about.

 

He set up his page about a week ago I think.. but the songs he added a few days after. Once I saw it I thought "oh cool , hes doing something with it" and checked back to see how it was coming along. So the song is new.. he did skirt the issue there

 

so, do you have thoughts he is hooking up with someone on there? women messaging him? maybe he just uses it to talk to his sister. i mean, you use yours for 'just looking for classmates' right?

[MustbeNuts]

its been awhile since I have looked on here and noticed I never did follow up on this post. I did reply to another that was very similiar to mine just a bit ago which made me think to dig this one up.

 

Ghost, My myspace page was created a few years before I even dated him, and I never thought about it. And "created" would be a loose definition as there is absolutely no content on it.. I could put Jane Doe and it wouldnt make a difference. I had an old friend tell me to look at a classmates myspace page.. they had pictures of a reunion and to look at pictures and get more detailed searching you have to register. When I found his website I wasnt even logged in, I just did a basic search for him (as well as my sisters etc.. like I said.. i was bored)

 

At first I didnt even think about why he made the page.. and yes.. to talk to his sister was what came to mind. It's just the damn "single" status that bothered me.

 

I guess a lot of men think differently on that. I think about my relationship with him and I want to shout it to the world. I dont care who knows and would gladly tell anyone, yet all of a sudden the person that tells me the same thing has his set to "single" when there is an option to put "in a relationship"

 

I know this is a huge deal with a lot of people and I did not want it tarnishing my relationship so I just sat on it and never confronted him about it.

 

To update where we are today... It did continue to bother me.. a LOT but I never talked to him about it.. I just did my best to trust that he was with me and it was just to meet up with old friends.

 

So one day I sent him some photos I found of the 2 of us.. several ones where we were snuggling close and ones that meant a lot to me. I looked at his site later (and yes.. i will admit that part of me was curious if he would post them or not) and he posted every one of them.

 

I am glad now that I trusted him

[SinfullySweet]

I'm glad things worked out. Just so you know, the default status on myspace is single. If he isn't on his page often and doesn't add a bunch of people he probably hasn't even thought to go change his status. I look at my boyfriend's page far more often than I look at my own.