Ex breaks NC, proclaims her undying love, but still doesn't want me!

[fivespot]

Well, I'll try and keep this short. I've been on strict NC for 20 days with my ex. Not a record, but almost (as we've gone NC many times before).

 

I guess this is what I was waiting for because she dumped me. I've been waiting for something from her, but I thought it would never come. I never thought she'd reach out to me like this.

 

She says she misses me so much, is so completely in love with me, I'm her best friend, blah blah blah...

 

But she still doesn't want a relationship

 

I'm not sure how to proceed. I tried explaining that I need time apart to let go of her, though she says I'm punishing her by going NC because she doesn't want a relationship.

 

I always thought she was psycho, but now I'm sure of it.

 

I guess I'm just trying to vent, but as always, comments are definitely welcome.

[Ampire]

LOL! classic.....

 

ya I would stick to NC....shes lookin for that emotional support from you but cant give you what you need...

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Wow, that's pretty selfish of her. She is basically giving you some crumbs so that you will give her the cake. Did you ever play a game with a dog where you wave the toy around and the minute he goes to grab it, you pull it away...that is what she is doing...but at least with a dog it is all in good fun and you eventually give him the toy. In her case she just wants to take so she will give you just enough to hopefully get you hooked and then leave you dangling. Stick to no contact and let her find a crutch elsewhere.

[Mustangs84]

Dude, turn away and never look back...

 

My ex did this to me. We kept in contact for about 4 months after the breakup, but I then started NC. After about 5 weeks, she called wanting to talk. She too professed how much she missed, would never find anybody she loved as much as me, yadda yadda. She said she wanted to keep talking to see if things would work out. I reluctantly agreed, and regret it to this day.

 

While we really haven't decided anything, it has dragged on for about 6 weeks now, her still being undecided. I try not to pressure and give her time, but it really does eat away at you. At this point, even though things are in limbo, if I could do it over again, I would have saved myself the anguish and just said "too late".

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is just be very very careful if you decide to stay in contact. It can make things even worse.

[-BK-]

Dude, sounds like you need to sack up here and make the decision for her. I can understand wanting her back (I still want my ex back), but if she's going to keep you in limbo... it's not fair to you. Tell her to take her time, but you won't be by her side while she's deciding. You need to be NC or very LC until she knows that it's the right time for the two of you. End of story.

[Sadman84]

Hey just so you know my ex did the SAME EXACT THING TO ME.

 

It was all fun and games until she met the guy she was waiting for to take my spot then she quit talking to me.

 

if you keep this up you'll suffer the same fate, all she is waiting for is the next guy to come along, you're just plan B to her.

 

stop talking to her, have some dignity.

[Frangipani]

How can someone be in love with you and not want to be with you? That is a very odd statement to make. I can understand an ex stilling 'loving you' but 'being in love' is not something you usually don't want to persue, unless there is abuse involed or something (nott saying their is of course).

 

It's so cruel for ex's to say they are still 'in love' and not want to do anything about it. I'd juts be saying, 'No you aren't, if you were we'd work this out."

[jdubs]

Ugh..... Mind games.

 

Fivespot, my man.... you need to kick this girl to the curb.

 

I got the exact same thing from my ex.

If someone wants to be with you, then they will be with you.

 

She did this crap to me..gave me crumbs... said she could imagine "growing old with me" and that maybe we could go out for a beer in September (this was July) because August was going to be too "crazy with lolla" (palooza... yeah, she's hip...

and then told me she would "always love me" but she was too busy to see me right now and that she hadn't had any "breakthroughs" yet and,

 

BLAH BLAH BLAH........

 

Here's what it came down to for me, my friend.....

 

She's crazy, life's too short, and I don't need the drama...

 

 

Let them go!!!!!

 

 

You know what I mean?

 

Peace, my friend... It will get easier. You will meet someone much better someday. In the meantime, carpe diem!!

[Sickboy48]

yeah straight up mind games.

Life is too short for BS.

 

My ex tried to do teh whole friend thing, yeah ok, lmao... * * * * that.

I am still in NC and am happy.

[AngryHeart]

OK, so she's either confused, or a b!t*h. And you don't need either. You need someone who KNOWS they want you. If she was in love with you she would try to make it work. Simple. I think my ex was ALWAYS confused if I'm honest with myself, I doubt that he ever knew 100% the relationship was what he wanted. That's what my gut says, and people say to listen to that. It doesn't have to make them a bad person, but everyone deserves someone who KNOW they love them, who KNOW that a relationship with them is what they want..know what I'm saying? Or f course she might just be a B! and is just playing games with your mind and heart. EITHER WAY, NC is the way to go my friend. If she realises she wants you in the futire and PROVES it, then that's down to you then, but for now she either doesn't know what she wants, or does and she wants to play you. Stay strong, don't contact her. Good luck!

[ewokbiscuit]

Jesus, it's scary to see that I am going through EXACTLY what you guys are too!! I was doing better until she contacted me saying sh*t like "I miss you very very much." and "He's not like you". ????????????????

 

Crumbs people. (see my other thread on here )

 

Here are the hard facts:

 

1) She has moved on. Dating another man from jumpstart 7 of the 8 months we were broken up.

2) She has told me she has "missed me" and "loves me" before, but NOTHING HAS CHANGED. We haven't even BEGUN to move toward reconciling.

 

I tend to be in agreement: if she really was IN love with me, there would be no ambiguity - we would be making steps, but instead I get EXCUSES (rejection in a nice little package) about being scared, hesitant, what friends and family will think, blah, blah blah. Fact: She is holding me at bay while SHE lives HER life and then she gets emotionally stoked from time to time by me when the feeling of missing me comes over her. Otherwise, I am an AFTERTHOUGHT next to the new guy she's been seeing. Smokescreen people. I am just as bad though.....it's hard to remain in NC. I have broken it many times because I am weak. But that's why I came back to these boards!!

[Artop]

Hi, I am going through the same thing. For the past 6 months, many many "I miss you"s. I finally decided to go absolute NC 6 days ago, and guess what, nothing from him since. I guess I have been stroking his ego while he live HIS life too. It is hard to think I am just an afterthought/plan B now, but that's the reality.

 

It's better to know now than to have this drag on for another 6 months. I am glad I saw this thread today, because I was ready to break no contact.

[jdubs]

This is good... this is healthy.

 

Yes, we are all going through this together, folks... hence the name of this particular forum...

 

I am really sensing the healing coming from everyone here..and i'm liking it.

 

The pain, the confusion, the sadness and loneliness are all part of this crappy situation that we find ourselves in but we have something that they can't take away from us..

 

OUR SELF RESPECT!

 

Stay strong, brothers and sisters... right on, right on.

 

*pumps fist in the air*