Seeking advice and ideas

[NYSTAR]

Hi all I have been a "lurker" here for a while now - I will post my entire story at another time - however right now, I am seeking some friendly advice.

 

Let me give you a little recap of my situation - I have been with my SO for almost 2 years now, I have 2 kids (teenagers) - My SO moved in about a year ago, and for the first few months, everything was great - the "this is too good to be true" phase, when that honeymoon phase was over, and the pressure and routine of everyday life set in, my SO had an emotional affair, of course this 3rd person promised the SO that the "grass is greener" anyway, fact is fact and I have to take my share of the blame as our communication broke down for a while there - anyway we decided we built too much to give up on us and decided to give it another go - needless to say it hasn't been easy, some days are good, some days are hard, some days I wonder if my SO is thinking of that 3rd person etc....but I am still willing to try

 

So this weekend we are headed away, with my SO parents for xmas shopping and to see some shows, we will finallyl be alone in the hotel and be able to talk without interruptions from the kids, etc., and I would like to make it as special as possible to rekindle what we both have seem to put on the back burner - go back to the fun and laughter - any ideas on how to make our time special without bringing up the past or what needs fixing in the relationship, because that usually ends up in an argument anyway! lol

 

Thanks

[RN521]

hi nystar, u guys sound like us. i envy that u guys could get away. my advice is that u buy a gorgeous outfit for each night u are away. liqour is usually useful and some movies if u guys are movie watchers. wherever u guys are going, research on the place and see what u can do thats local. see if the hotel has a spa and take advantage of a massage together. or, see if they have a pool and go for an indoor night swim (if they allow it). just u and him. God im going to cry lol im going through hell right now with my SO and i think we need time away as well. but i dont think it will happen. feb would have been our one yr anniversary of moving in together.....i dont think we're going to make it that far.

but honestly, all that ive mentioned above would be the things i would do with mine.... good luck and i hope u two have a good holiday...

[woodster]

For the "leave your troubles behind" vacation, I always recommend going outside your comfort zone. Both of you. Do something that neither of you have done before.

 

Maybe paint-ball? or if that's too messy/painful - try lazer-tag. It's gets you out of the regular routine and will give you tons of stories to regale later. I play whenever I need to "refresh" my outlook, I'm usually the only adult there, but thats half the fun. I love using the 10 year olds as a human-sheild You both won't be able to stick together, since moving around is part of the objective, but you'll run into each other all the time.

 

Maybe ice-skating or something like that.

 

Go back to being a kid again!

 

Once you are sore, then get those spa treatments and enjoy being together after the battle!!!

[NYSTAR]

Thanks to all who replied -

all of your ideas are excellent - sometimes I just get the feeling I am trying and trying for no reason - at times things are so tense here, like wakling on eggshells - I try to count to 10,lol, but its hard!

Hopefully the weekend will be a good one!