So tired of fighting

[Lost In This World]

and wondering what's the point anymore. I'm a single mum to 3 kids, have 5 but 2 eldest live elsewhere. Was in an abusive marriage for nearly 15 years and only broke free of it a few years ago now but seems everytime I manage to get things together along comes something else to knock me back down, seems i can;t escape my past I'm just so tired of struggling through each day, putting on a brave face to those around me when really i'm in turmoil. Nights are worse, kids are in bed have too much time to dwell on things, focusing on the bad, thinking how easy it would be to end it all, to stop the pain and jsut not wake up.

[Ampire]

and wondering what's the point anymore. I'm a single mum to 3 kids, have 5 but 2 eldest live elsewhere. Was in an abusive marriage for nearly 15 years and only broke free of it a few years ago now but seems everytime I manage to get things together along comes something else to knock me back down, seems i can;t escape my past I'm just so tired of struggling through each day, putting on a brave face to those around me when really i'm in turmoil. Nights are worse, kids are in bed have too much time to dwell on things, focusing on the bad, thinking how easy it would be to end it all, to stop the pain and jsut not wake up.

 

Dont be ridiculous, you are a mother of 5 wonderful children who love and respect you very much, who need you! and you need them, accept your past, go to councelling, study the secret and the law of attraction, find a sitter and go out meet ppl, im sure deep down you know there is a beautiful person who only deserves the best. Life after an abusive relationship must be very difficult, but getting out was a blessing in disguise and shows how truly stong you are...look into your childrens eyes and reflect their joy and happiness into your heart...live your life through them...onward and upward, if you set your mind to believe things will get better they will. TRUST ME!!!

 

PM me anytime you need to talk.

[Ash]

Don't give up.

 

I'm sure you mean the world to your kids even if they don't tell you that everyday.

 

Perhaps you fel less valued as a person as a result of the abuse. That's common. Just because you were in an abusive relationship doesn't mean you are any less important or entitled anything less than anybody else.

 

Try to think of something positive, even a small little thing to help you get through things for now and hopefully soon something good will happen in your life.

 

That's part of what we're here for, to help in whatever small way we can when things get a little too tough to handle.

[Pocket Rocket]

I strongly recommend you visit this blog and read entries from beginning to end, a lot of what you said mirrors the author's own life, the issues she's had to deal with and the a lot of great advice that could help you.

 

link removed

 

Please don't give up, it's so hard to hold on but you can handle this, it's a major (albeit unfair) learning experience, you will come out of this so much wiser and stronger, please hold on

[Nixee]

and wondering what's the point anymore. I'm a single mum to 3 kids, have 5 but 2 eldest live elsewhere. Was in an abusive marriage for nearly 15 years and only broke free of it a few years ago now but seems everytime I manage to get things together along comes something else to knock me back down, seems i can;t escape my past I'm just so tired of struggling through each day, putting on a brave face to those around me when really i'm in turmoil. Nights are worse, kids are in bed have too much time to dwell on things, focusing on the bad, thinking how easy it would be to end it all, to stop the pain and jsut not wake up.

 

If you think it would be easy to just end it and not wake up, I beg you to look into the eyes of your children. Would it be easy for them?

 

My grandmother left this world early by her own hands. She left 8 children and a husband behind. EIGHT. The youngest was 5. My mother was 13. I never met her, but I always miss her.

 

There is nothing easy about it, though I do feel for you. I am so sorry you are feeling so tired and struggling. I'm so sorry you are in pain. I hope you can try to remember that you do have wonderful reasons to live. You have already mentioned 5 of them to us.

[Summer Angel]

I often feel so tired of fighting too. Being the victim of an abusive marriage or being the victim of an abusive parent or parents is tough. Believe me, I have been there with the parents.I often feel I can't escape the past either, abusive family members are one of the greatest pains life can give you. They just scar you so much, like you can never be happy. I don't know if I ever will be. I

 

t takes so long to get these toxic individuals out of your system.. and even then, you can't forget what they have done. I try to keep fighting.. but sometimes it seems so much in vain, but I push on, hoping that eventually, someday I won't have to fight for everything I get.