Kick in the teeth, head, or whereever

[minniegirl]

For those of you that keep in contact with your ex and you know their life (now that you lead separate ones). Do you feel that they have learned a lesson or realize they let a good thing go? I'm finding it difficult to put this into words, but what I'm getting at is do you feel your ex knows he/she messed up and is now regretting it?

[EQD]

why hell no, my ex was a jealous habitual liar, i broke up with him for it.. in less than a month he was with another girl who he lies and cheats on..

I won't say he lost a "good" thing, i was a raging b$%^& sometimes.. but i def know he isnt regretting a thing...

I mean, how could you have time to regret something you did with an ex when you are already shacked out with another girl that is in love with you not but a few weeks after the break????

[Hopefloats]

I understand your question and what you're trying to ask.

 

I think "thinking" that (ie: wondering if they realize what they lost), is certainly nothing more than a stage you go through during your healing process.

 

I did, indeed, wonder that. I'm really now at a stage however that just doesn't care. If he realizes now what he lost (cause he lost huge), that's his problem...not mine. I truly can't be bothered wondering anymore what he's thinking or if he realizes what he lost out on.

[bulletproof]

I only recently reinstated contact with my ex, and I have no idea if he regrets it or not. However, I would be careful of any line of thinking that leads you down the road to the phrase, "learned a lesson". This implies that everything was your ex's fault, which is highly unlikely, as it takes two people to be involved in a relationship and a breakup. You sound like you want him to be sorry for hurting you, but maybe it just didn't work out and he doesn't regret his decision because it was the right one for him. I know that's hard to hear, but once you accept that you're healing will move forward.

[Dominic_M]

I dont think she regrets it. She did what she had to do. Im sure its easier for her then it was for me because she had someone to fall back on. And was detached from the relationship months before she broke it off.

 

As for if she feels she lost a good thing? I hope so.

[doyathink]

I regret letting go a wonderful man years ago, but didn't regret it at the time. I had to marry (and divorce) a man who I can barely stand now, to help me realize what a true jewel I did have b4 him.

 

Do most ppl regret it? Probably not, at least not for quite some time. They'll have to be used themselves b4 they can see what they lost.

[thouse]

For those of you that keep in contact with your ex and you know their life (now that you lead separate ones). Do you feel that they have learned a lesson or realize they let a good thing go? I'm finding it difficult to put this into words, but what I'm getting at is do you feel your ex knows he/she messed up and is now regretting it?

Yes, my ex told me he messed up and made a big mistake.

[minniegirl]

Yes, my ex told me he messed up and made a big mistake.

 

Really? He actually admitted it! Amazing. How'd it come about?

[IntelligentIdiocy]

Sometimes this occurs, and sometimes it doesn't. Some people change for the better, some for the worse, and some not at all. There are times people realize their mistakes, and there are people who remain insulated from empathy all of their lives.

 

Usually, by the time I've had an ex come around to apologize, I've moved so far down the road that I've already forgiven and forgotten.

[kiki]

im still in touch with my ex's. With my most recent, i wish he did feel that he made a mistake letting me go.. that i can only hope but deep down, i know he's moved on, I will too eventually.. i have to.

[thouse]

Really? He actually admitted it! Amazing. How'd it come about?

He waited until we were on good speaking terms and we was having a conversation one day, and he just said it during conversation. He wasn't telling me something I didn't already know though (I'm fabolous

[-BK-]

Interestingly enough, I had a conversation with my ex before this ex last night. We have remained in contact over the last 3 years on and off and it's amicable. We can talk about currrent dating situations, catch up on each other's life, and even say hi to each other's families. In October, she saw my parents with me for the first time in years. It wasn't awkward at all. But that's not the point to my answer.

 

She and I have had several conversations about how it ended, why it ended, etc. We both realize what our issues were in the relationship and why it didn't work. I was stubborn and didn't like to be "controlled", yet was a little controlling in that process. She was insecure with herself and that made it tough for our relationship because she relied on me to make her feel good about who she was. We ended up fighting a lot, even though we loved each other a great deal (3 years). I guess the answer is that neither of us admitted that we lost anything... but we did admit what our individual faults had been and how that led to the end. That type of closure has been good for me.