Almost 3 weeks NC - My Progress thus far

[blindreepr]

I can't believe that it has almost been 3 weeks of NC. Tomorrow is officially one month since she left me. All in all I am feeling much better. I think about her a whole lot less, I haven't cried for about a week and a half now. Things are starting to look up.

 

I'm at the point now where I almost feel like "Now what?" It's been 3 weeks of NC, she hasn't tried to contact me and I haven't tried to contact her. I have been spending alot more time on the Healing forum lately rather than the Getting Back together forum. I realize that I can't be healed completely in just one month but I almost don't know how I feel. My friends have gotten tired of hearing me talk about her and the break up and I have pretty much gone to keeping these feelings inside.

 

My brother is another story, he will say something to bait me into talking about her and then as soon as I start talking he completely ignores anything I have to say about her and the break up unless it is something negative about her or the situation in general.

 

I still visit ENA alot, but I feel that I don't have anything significant to post since there hasn't really been contact at all. I am not sure what I am looking for, maybe a magic bullet to heal myself completely.

 

Sometimes I wonder if she will ever come back, I know I shouldn't think about this, but sometimes I can't help it. I try and suppress these thoughts as much as I can. I don't think she will come back because of pride, and I think if she does come back it will be out of selfishness. It's a lose-lose situation for me.

 

I have been doing alot of reading lately about NLP and tons of reading on how to talk to girls in general. My introverted nature isn't going to make this easy, as I have problems approaching guys that I don't know. I have no idea how I am ever going to approach a woman that I am attracted to. But right now that's not really on my mind, I just want to set a goal of being able to converse with someone without having tons of social anxiety. Reading tons of material from the Pick Up Artist community has kept my mind busy. I've also been going to the gym and eating healthy lately. I am looking better than I probably ever have, this is helping the confidence alittle bit. I am also trying to pay more attention to my posture in general. I am starting small and hoping to work my way to up being confident.

 

I guess this is more of just a vent, as I really don't have much to talk about anymore. The healing continues. I can't wait until this depression is completely gone.

[twinstars]

You're doing a fabulous job of keeping hope in your heart. I admire you so much--I have followed your posts, and I find you to be a courageous, true soul who is coming from a deep place of love. My heart goes out to you because you have had to experience one of the most painful moments in the soul's life---Loss of a loved one.

 

But you will not be without love again. I know that. And lots of women out there love and adore and are charmed by shy, humble men such as yourself. It is an appealing quality, very sweet.

 

Because you feel pain now menas you are alive, and real, and that your heart loved deeply.

 

Just think how beautiful it will be to share love with someone who wants everything you have to offer, and will never dream of losing it. That will be so magical!

[blindreepr]

You're doing a fabulous job of keeping hope in your heart. I admire you so much--I have followed your posts, and I find you to be a courageous, true soul who is coming from a deep place of love. My heart goes out to you because you have had to experience one of the most painful moments in the soul's life---Loss of a loved one.

 

But you will not be without love again. I know that. And lots of women out there love and adore and are charmed by shy, humble men such as yourself. It is an appealing quality, very sweet.

 

Because you feel pain now menas you are alive, and real, and that your heart loved deeply.

 

Just think how beautiful it will be to share love with someone who wants everything you have to offer, and will never dream of losing it. That will be so magical!

 

Thank you for your words. My brain knows that time is on my side. It's sometimes hard to wait for things to get better in our fast food society. Patience is a virtue and I am getting plenty of lessons right now

[lovemeorleaveme]

Hey blindreepr! youre doing a great job and you and I are on the same boat.

You can get out of this depression as soon as you learn how to let go.Dont let it eat you up inside anymore(easy for me to say I know coz Im trying my best too).Nobody can predict the future but to be happy is a choice and not an emotion you feel.You loved this person,I think that is enough.That means you know how to love and we will survive..(ah that song!!)The important thing is youre not going to be bitter and you will start working on that smile again..Its only been a month for you and its been 7 months for me but I have respect for the effort that youre giving here.How I wish I could erase and

redo the script cause I found out about this NC just recently and I know this is the cure that I was looking for.Just forgive your ex and forgive yourself and be the bigger person and live your life to the fullest.Thats what Im going to do!!

[reiny]

Hey Blindreepr, I've been following your posts since the beginning. You're one hell of a strong willed guy. You'll pull through this without too many problems. I'm a weakling yet I managed to go through 6 and a half months of NC since the day she left me and it's only in the past two weeks that I've had my "lightswitch moment". I'm feeling relatively ok now. If I could make it, you can too. Keep your chin up and have faith. You'll be fine. I promise you.

[AngryHeart]

You are doing REALLY well, hun! You should be proud of yourself. Keep it up. You will be fine, time IS a healer.