OK here goes..good man with bad habits please help me

[GoodMan]

Hello,

My wife and I have been separated for a week. She is SURE she wants a divorce. She had a drug problem with methadone, told meabout it out of the blue(trust issues now), after spending about 4k over the course of several months. I went"daddy"(she told me I was acting like her daddy) on her and took her car and debit cards. I also tried to not say anything about it and trust her but it didn't always work. So she has made mistakes and I have been mean to her. I also took her for granted sometimes and acted like I was all that and she was lucky to be with me. I know now, trust me. I don't want it to be over, we have been together for 4 yrs, been married two, and have a two yr old son.

 

She is being kinda cold and only wants to talk about issues at hand. She doesn't really talk about her feelings and that makes it hard for me to communicate. It also could be that I am hard to talk to. I do listen and think things through, but I'm sure she feels that I am always right, and so doesn't have trust in me to listen to her now. I have been a fool bc I thought she was mine forever.

 

What should I do? She says she is sure, and we are 400 miles away right now. I want to have another chance to be more understanding and loving, but Im scared it's too late. We had alot of fun in the past few weeks, and she cried and told me how sorry she was and made great love to me (not me to her), and here two weeks later she wants it to be over for sure. I was an azzhole, I know that now. No matter what mistakes she made, I should've been a better man.

 

Good?Man

[breath.o.fresh.air]

Have you tried couple counseling?

[GoodMan]

she doesn't want to go. It seems as if she's either repressing she still loves me and gets upset when I try to talk to her about it ( I have been a big baby of course, bc I love her and it hurts mighty bad, I didn't see it coming then but I do now), because she really doesn't anymore, and today she was hitting something in the car bc she was frustrated trying to talk about it. I have had two 48 hr periods of no contact (yeah I've read some before I posted), but we needed to talk biz today and I had to open my mouth about it. I did pretty well, no breaking voice and tears in my eyes, and she did talk to me a little more, saying that it was me acting like her daddy and puttin her down (it wasn't excessive, but it was enough), but she was angry to be discussing it with me.

[breath.o.fresh.air]

Is she still dealing with her methadone addiction? If it's only been a little while, she could still be having a hard time with that, compounded with the stress it places on your marriage and a toddler. I would suggest couple counseling, but without her co-operation in trying to resolve these issues, there really isn't too much you can do except try NC/LC. Good luck.

[GoodMan]

Is there hope even if I was a super-ass?

[GoodMan]

It's really hard to deal with this every morning I wake up. I still love her.