They've never 'just met them'...

[Andy_2007]

A quickie, but an important one:

 

From my own experiences and from others I've read about on here...

 

...If you get dumped, then a short time later they contact you and say that they've just met someone new...

 

They're lying.

 

That 'new' person has been there for a while and was the real reason you split.

 

Ok, its an obvious point and has probably been said before...and if anyone can say to contrary (though i doubt it) then please do, but i thought it was worth putting down here as i think its a very important point.

[raffi_FL]

I agree with you. I had an ex that got a gf pretty soon after we broke up. I found out later that he had met her on myspace (is that place a people store or something? ) before we broke up. There were signs (two tickets to a concert he was going to by himself, not letting me use his computer when I visited, etc) but I was too stupid to see them.

 

Of course the other person could be a rebound but I think more often than not it isn't the case.

[shes2smart]

Depends on how you define "short time."

 

I broke up with my last bf at the end of June 2001.

 

I met my husband at the end of Aug 2001 and was married to him less than a year later.

 

If you woulda told me in July 2001 I'd be meeting my hubby in a few weeks, I woulda laughed you out of the room because I wouldn't have thought it possible to meet someone that quickly....but I did.

 

So, while it is possible your ex's "new squeeze" was in the picture before you were fully out of the picture, it's also possible they were not.

[orchidrose]

I agree with you. I had an ex that got a gf pretty soon after we broke up. I found out later that he had met her on myspace (is that place a people store or something? ) before we broke up.

 

Seconded on the MySpace. Within 2 days of our breaking up, I noticed racy, flirty messages on my ex's MySpace wall from a girl. Turns out they went to high school together, but she had moved a few states away. When I invited him to my roommate's birthday party the next weekend, he told me he couldn't come - because he was going to be in that state! I asked if he had been talking to her prior to us breaking up, but he never gave me a straight answer. I seriously doubt it went from totally platonic to flirty overnight.

[Andy_2007]

 

So, while it is possible your ex's "new squeeze" was in the picture before you were fully out of the picture, it's also possible they were not.

 

In my case...No...They definitely were in the picture

 

I bet I could count on the fingers of one hand a different story from that.

[WaterIsLife]

One thing to think about here is that while your ex may have been interacting with this other person prior to the break up (platonic or not), the other person is not really the reason why you split. It is really a symptom, so to speak, of your relationship and how your ex felt while in it. Sure, maybe having met this other person sped up the breakup, but it really wasn't the cause.

 

I know thats hard to hear.

[itsjustisnt]

I don't agree. my ex (that dumped me) she and I happen to meet 2 weeks after my last break up. she had nothing to do with ending the relationship before.

[shes2smart]

In my case...No...They definitely were in the picture

 

I bet I could count on the fingers of one hand a different story from that.

 

To clarify, this:

So, while it is possible your ex's "new squeeze" was in the picture before you were fully out of the picture, it's also possible they were not.

wasn't directed specifically at Andy_2007, but meant to be a more general comment.

[JeckyllNHyde]

I agree Andy. Funny thing is I never even realized this till I came to this site. It envolves a break up of 2 years ago with my first bf. We broke up, and he seemed to get over it REAL quick. I was left in tears and whatnot, couldn't get out of bed... blah blah, you know the whole cliche.

I found out thru another friend that 3 days later or 2 he ended up dating a new girl. I knew he met her just a week before we broke up, but silly me never put the pieces together.

They hadn't hooked up or anything but his friend had to talk the sense into him not to cheat.

I found that out later..

So in conclusion... when they meet someone "2 weeks later" or something... yea, they didn't just meet them.

 

Oh yea. I am guilty of doing this too actually.

I broke up with a bf, b/c a guy I wanted to go out with for ages finally showed interest and asked me out. I felt sad that I had broken up with my bf...... till I had my date with the new guy 4 days later. I gotta say though, even though I did it, the grass was not greener on the other side.

[Sickboy48]

i caught my ex talking to the guy that was just "a friend" 2 weeks after we spilt, she is dating retard.

 

nuff said.

[orchidrose]

Yeah, I know that this girl had nothing to do with our breakup - I broke up with him, and I knew nothing of her at the time. The fact that he was speaking with her at all was totally a symptom of bad things had been between us, which is obviously why I ended up breaking up with him.

[Entomon]

People like that need to grow some balls or ovaries and cough up the truth!

[JeckyllNHyde]

People like that need to grow some balls or ovaries and cough up the truth!

 

LOL, I agree. But I gotta say, in my case where I broke up with my ex, I didn't tell him b/c I saw after 8 months things just weren't working. We hadn't even reached the "I love you" stage. Things just didn't feel like we were a couple. More like really good friends who hung out, made out... No couple stuff, etc.

I didn't tell him the truth b/c I didn't want to bruise his ego. He started dating his ex right away and sort of rubbed it in my face, and I just let him feel he was "ahead" of me. He already had insecurities, I didn't want to hurt him more so I just kept the details to myself.