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What IF neither of us initiate contact first ........


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Its been over 4 months of break up and I ve been in hard core NC for over 2 months now. Am just wondering since neither he or myself have made efforts to make any contact , will we ever talk again ?


I these days have these urges to text him a simple, hi/hello, but then I don't know how he will take it. Either it will piss him off and he wont respond, or he'll simply reply in a formal fashion. But contactting may prove that I still maybe hope of getting him back.


He's with some one else now, that of course is a MAJOR reason why he isn't contactting me.....After this long NC period, am gettin the itch to initiate something.....wot shud i do ?

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Hi Tushboy,


I agree with Arwen and Betterkarma, for the highlighted reasons, but also, don't you think if he wanted to talk to you he would have done so...?


A relationship has to be a two way street.


You wouldn't want to be with someone who felt they were not compatable with you, right?


I would find someone else and not even dwell upon it.



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Hey TB!


You have broken NC before and you know exactly how rotten it made you feel afterwards. There is nothing to be gained by texting him - it'll just set you back.


Lots of us have urges to contact our ex's - say hi - see what they are up to. But that is the whole point - they are an ex for a reason.


Sit on your hands fella!



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I have read on here that NC is not about getting them back, It's about getting you back. NC has created a place that I can heal safely from my loss.


She broke up with me in a really bad way, so me initiating contact would be sending the message that it is OK to hurt me. Not anymore!


Our relationsips do not define us, our behavior does. My behavior, ie: "No Contact" is an esteemable act. It is part of learning to love myself again.


Don't postpone progress by breaking NC. What my ex thinks, feels, does and with whom, truly has no bearing on my happiness.


That is the illussion. Finding our truth is why we visit this site.

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TB -


I completely understand those urges and WHY you would want to. I know you came and posted on this board because you wanted to be told NOT TO DO IT!


You're human and those urges are normal. Don't feel bad for having them. And honestly ---- who on this planet knows what will happen in the future. Maybe one day you both bump into each other somewhere and that breaks the ice... Who would have ever guessed that my ex would have found me 19yr later??? Who knew???


Hang in there and keep looking after yourself! You will get there!

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Thank you Guys, all your words are rock solid and gimme faith to carry with NC. Guess I was having a weak moment and a strong urge to juss see how he's doing. But you are right, he walked out on me, if he wants he can come back. His actions are screaming, "I dont want you in my life"...I should listen to that and keep my head outta him....

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