close friends left me just like that?

[bit3yerlip]

i've lost 2 of my 3 closest friends in college. i met them in college few months ago, we got closer all was fine, until i started to have a new boyfriend. it is not like i dont have other friends... but to me close friends are really important to me and because i give my all and would do anything for them. it came to the point where i thought these two dont mind me spending more time with my bf, because i thought a real friend wudnt leave you just because u are busy. the other closest friend of mine actually talked to me not spend so much time with my bf..but atleast she didnt neglect me like how the two of them r doing it.

I have my childhood best friend. she and i are still best friends although we have our own things to do in our lives (different college and all)... we would meet up if theres anything, for a chat or just to see each other. i do not understand why the two friends i just lost are so mean to me. i did not betray them, i did not do anything bad to them. now both of them are hanging out with this particular girl we used to hate. both of them disliked her before and now i see them folowing her around like a dog. it hurts to see them acting all so "happy" in front of me. atleast one of them still talks to me and TRIES to not make it obvious that he's not close to me anymore. but this stil hurts, because i think he pities me or feels guilty. im trying to hold on to it now.. i do not want to separate them with the girl we used to hate.. i do not wish to intefere..i dont even talk much to them bcos i know i will b annoying to them (they might think i want to 'fit in'). sumtimes i say hi to them like a normal friend.. can anyone tell me what am i going through now.. im quite lost lol... or too dumb to think. are they backstabbing or betraying me or what i dont know? they look soo frikkin * * * * * y! im beginning to hate them .....

[Jeffrey2095]

Hi bit3yerlip,

 

Well, it seems everything changed when you got a boyfriend.

 

Now, is it possible they felt snubbed, maybe you broke or turned down some friend-dates, didn't reply to correspondence...?

 

I guess having the boyfriend, cut into the time you guys used to hang out?

 

I suppose it would be too much to ask to have them accept the boyfriend into the circle of friends?

 

Still, it sounds pretty immature to me, and maybe you could find some new friends who are comfortable with you in your current relationship status.

 

Hang out with his friends.

 

Jeff

[Daligal83]

It might be worth having a conversation with them asking why they decided they didn't want to be your friend anymore. If it's an immature reason, well then you're better off and you know you didn't do anything wrong. If it's a real reason, like they felt you were ditching them, well then that's something you need to know so you don't do it again.

 

Just a thought, is it possible that one or both of the guys had a crush on you and is hurt that you're dating this new guy?