lucy25 Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 I have a very odd issue. I am engaged to the love of my life, and he loves me for who I am. He does tell me I have a "perfect" body, which by most male standards, I do. I am not trying to brag, this detail is related to my issue. When my fiance sees me, I have large breasts, a smallish waist, and long, slender, legs. So, why the problem? Well, I have, since childhood, been ashamed of my oddly proportioned body (mainly my large stomach despite being slim/normal sized.) So I have always resorted to sucking my stomach in. No one knows that my stomach is actually a pot belly. I am so good at sucking it in my fiance praises my trim and firm waistline. When I let it out, and look in the mirror, I actually like my pot belly. I don't know why exactly. I think because it is me, and I find it sexy in a unique way. To me it is large, and voluptuous, and sexy in it's excess. But I don't know if my fiance would agree. I would like him to know all of me. I would even find it arousing to reveal my true form to him. But I fear that he will be offended by my secrecy, or find it totally unattractive. He might be let down because for so long he has thought of my body as "perfect" according to typical standards, and it is decidedly not perfect at all, not even close! And I am so used to being thought of as "perfect" it would be hard to come clean. I don't think he would do anything drastic, but it may hurt our relationship. I know this sounds shallow and silly. But it is a real issue for me. Any thoughts? Am I taking it to serious? Guys how would you react to this? Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 How long have you guys been together? Link to comment
lucy25 Posted December 4, 2007 Author Share Posted December 4, 2007 We've been together eleven months. Link to comment
DN Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 I would be very surprised if he does not already know. And doesn't care. Link to comment
Lana0120 Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 If you've been together for so long, I find it hard to believe you could have hidden it from him for all of that time. Even if you suck in your stomach, you must have had some relaxed moments where it showed. He probably knows already. If he doesn't, I'm sure he won't dump you over something like that. Link to comment
beauty21 Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 Girl, he is not worrying about your stomach. Just let it lose one day, and see if he notices it. He may already have seen it and still think you are sexy. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 I'd say he won't care. I don't care how good someone is at holding their stomach in, it can't be THAT huge if you are holding it in 24/7 hiding it. Holding it in is only going to take it down but so many notches. Let it out. LEt him see the real you. Life is too short. Look at what being so appearance conscious has done to young women like Britney. Link to comment
Censored Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 Let it out. I'm sure he already knows. Besides, it'll make for a very comfy cushion when lying on the couch Link to comment
Mavis VDSande Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 I'd just come clean. He prob knows already though! I hid the fact that I was wearing contacts for over a year because my glasses are really old fashioned, huge! I would do anything not to wear them, even suffer dry eyes in the morning. When I turned up to my bf's with them on one evening he just laughed! I was so consious of it though, for nothing in the end! Link to comment
Cardinal Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 A little belly on a girl can actually be quite hot! Chances are that is already one of the things he really likes about your body. A gut on a man is rarely considered attractive. But it really is different for women. Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 like the others said, i am sure he knows. i doubt you've been able to keep your stomach sucked in 24/7 for the last 11 months. and like you said, it is cute. Link to comment
KG Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 ^^^agreed^^^ Having a belly is not the worst thing in the world! Most of the girls/women I've been with have had it. Not a dealbreaker at all! Link to comment
servedcold Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 I love some belly on a woman, especially one who is well-proportioned otherwise. He likely digs it as others have said. You couldn't possibly be able to hide it all the time, we are after all very visual creatures and are looking at you when you don't even realize it Link to comment
lucy25 Posted December 5, 2007 Author Share Posted December 5, 2007 Thanks everyone for your responses. Most of you seem to think he already knows, which could be true. But, I hold my stomach in all the time, without even thinking about it, even when I am alone. It is an involuntary habit I developed in childhood. I guess it's rare?? I mean, I have to THINK about it to let my stomach out. When I told my best friend of 5 years that I always hold my stomach in, she was completely surprised! So, I'm not saying it's impossible you guys are wrong, just I am not sure you are right (about him already knowing.) What I guess I want to know is...assuming that he thinks I have this lovely slender waist, do you think he would be terribly disappointed to find out that is not at all true? Guys, if your girlfriend pulled such a scenario on you what would you think? Girls, any thoughts? Again, you guys are really sweet! Thank you all for your reassurance and encouragements. It's nice to hear women of different shapes are considered attractive! As for the comment about me getting surgery... thanks, but I'm not really looking to change myself. I am at a healthy weight (5'7, 137 pounds) and I don't feel a need to go under the knife just to obtain the "perfect" body. I just want to cope with my imperfect body. Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 you can suck your stomach in, but it only does so much, you know? It's not like it makes you look 20 pounds heavier with it out or anything like that. do you think what you are doing is healthy? do you have problems breathing or anything of the sort? Are you a dancer or someone who is used to always keeping in their stomach? it sounds kind of uncomfortable.... Link to comment
lucy25 Posted December 5, 2007 Author Share Posted December 5, 2007 you can suck your stomach in, but it only does so much, you know? It's not like it makes you look 20 pounds heavier with it out or anything like that. do you think what you are doing is healthy? do you have problems breathing or anything of the sort? Are you a dancer or someone who is used to always keeping in their stomach? it sounds kind of uncomfortable.... I imagine it does sound uncomfortable to others, but it really isn't. I don't even notice. When I was a little girl, my mom taught me to hold my stomach in and put my shoulders back, and I think that just stuck. I do it automatically. I don't think it is unhealthy, but I'm not a doctor. And yes, you are right it doesn't make that much of a difference. But it is the difference between toned and pot belly. Which is enough difference for me! Link to comment
rocio Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 How about a tummy tuck or liposuction? is this a joke? ...to the OP: Can't you just suck it in when you're naked with him too? I know I sure don't walk around naked with my stomack hanging out in front of my man. Link to comment
wiser Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 I recall reading somewhere that if you walk around pulling your tummy in, its a form of exercise for the stomach muscles and can actually help firm up your belly. Not sure how true it is but I read it on the internet so it must be! Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 actually i read that even the thinnest girl will have a paunch if she walks around with her gut hanging out. most people do it b/c it is better for your posture/excersize-form while sitting, and it looks WAY better when walking, etc. My sis tends to stand with her belly hanging out and no offense, but it makes her look fatter then she is and not as attractive. Ruins her whole shape. It's good your so used to walking around with it in. I do it too, lol but I get lazy and let it out when alone, etc. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 We've been together eleven months. Dang, that's a long time to be walking around uncomfortable. I really doubt that it will even phase him. Just stop sucking you tummy in. You don't even have to say anything about it. Link to comment
rocio Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 No, a tummy tuck or liposuction are approved treatments for this type of thing. Thousands if not millions of men and women have had their stomach flattened by this procedure. Surgery is risky and not intended for persons such as the OP. A better candidate for a tummy tuck would be a woman who's had a couple kids and the skin on her belly literally hangs over itself and is wrinkly. And the OP doesn't sound like she has enough fat on her body for lipo. Women die all the time from having these kinds of procedures and they are not to be taken lightly. Didn't you hear about Kanye West's mom recently? Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 Women die all the time from having these kinds of procedures and they are not to be taken lightly. Didn't you hear about Kanye West's mom recently? Omg?! I didn't know it was due to plastic sugery? Lipo? Link to comment
JadedStar Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 I imagine it does sound uncomfortable to others, but it really isn't. I don't even notice. When I was a little girl, my mom taught me to hold my stomach in and put my shoulders back, and I think that just stuck. I do it automatically. I don't think it is unhealthy, but I'm not a doctor. And yes, you are right it doesn't make that much of a difference. But it is the difference between toned and pot belly. Which is enough difference for me! OMG! I thought i had the ONLY MOTHER who did that. It was really weird reading this. LOL I was about to respond to the post before this one saying that i have been doing this since i was about eight years old and it is just a common thing for me, i am very used to it. My mother was kind of fanatical about body and appearance and had me do it and the shoulders back thing... But really it does not make as much of a difference as you think it does. it helps keep the abs harder and gives a slimmer appearance but it is only going to make so much difference. I think you are worrying about this way too much. I don't think he will notice anything different. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 Dang, that's a long time to be walking around uncomfortable. I really doubt that it will even phase him. Just stop sucking you tummy in. You don't even have to say anything about it. SOunds like the OP has always done this since she was young and not just for him. I do the same thing. I don't even notice or think about it anymore, it is a natural reflex for me. Link to comment
lucy25 Posted December 5, 2007 Author Share Posted December 5, 2007 OMG! I thought i had the ONLY MOTHER who did that. It was really weird reading this. LOL I was about to respond to the post before this one saying that i have been doing this since i was about eight years old and it is just a common thing for me, i am very used to it. My mother was kind of fanatical about body and appearance and had me do it and the shoulders back thing... But really it does not make as much of a difference as you think it does. it helps keep the abs harder and gives a slimmer appearance but it is only going to make so much difference. I think you are worrying about this way too much. I don't think he will notice anything different. Yes! I had a very appearance conscious mother! Mothers have this way of passing their bizarre quirks onto their daughters don't they! Link to comment
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