what to do, what to do?

[misshimalready]

well here i go again, second time i try no contact. it's only been 1 whole day and so far today that i've contact him. on the other hand he sent me a text this morning " good morning, when you come pick up your shoes can you leave my watch and whatever else you can think of...".

 

well just so you know friday night we got in a huge agument, previous post explains it all... then saturday night i asked him if we could talk, he agreed. we sat in my car outside his house and talked. i told him that i couldn't handle him dating someone else so soon. i poored my heart out, no crying though, just made sure he knew exactly how i felt...

 

then it was his turn...

 

he told me he broke up with me because he couldn't handle my accusations, my jealousy, the arguments, and that my weight gain played a small part as well. ( i did gain some weight, lost it, then gained it, working on losing it again..) the point is that he finally gave me his reasons, which i find very helpful, i know if i lose a few pounds i'll be a sexy hot chick again like i was, and that will bring my self confidence back, and i wont be so jealouse. i must admit that after i gained weight i felt so unattractive, thereforeeee was so jealouse of everyone who looked really good.

 

any way... after the talked i asked him to not call me, text me or communicate with me. i just needed some time away from him. i guess he understood, he told me if i need advise, support, or just someone to talk to he'll be there for me. oh yeah he said if i need s*x.. to give him a call too. i don't think he was kidding, but i responded " when i lose a few i'll think about it"... he told me that he loved me and that him dating someone else had nothing to do with me(i thought i drove him to do it). he told me he's not looking for a girlfriend, he just wants to do other girls, and if he has to date them to get them in bed then i guess he will. he's not a player, i was his first and only.. that's kinda why he wanted to break up too. we're only 23 been together for 5yrs, we needed some time to grow independent. we left on a good note.

 

i haven't cried as much, and now when i think of the other girl, it doesn't hurt too bad. i know him and i will be friends again, i'll probably see him some time this week(same group of friends) but i just can't be his friend right now.

 

i'm just wondering why he sent me that text today, i didn't respond, or at least haven't yet, should i? im not gonna pick up my stuff anytime soon, i need time to let him go and realize that whatever he's doing in his personal life is none of my business, but i'm not there yet.

 

i'm just trying to figure out why the text after i told him not to? why for a watch? i don't wanna read to into it, but i can't help it. does he miss me? i sure miss him...

 

any advise will be greatly appreciate it.

(by the way i'm not super fat, i still have guys chasing my tail, but i am fatter than i was 5 years ago, that's what he meant)

[mybunnyslipperz]

It has nothing to do with your size (I'm big - I know) - it has to do with your self confidence.

 

I am in a very similar situation - my ex dumped me less than 1 month before our would-be 8 YEAR anniversary. SO I feel your pain. It hurts. He has been seeing some other girl too - although he couldn't admit that to me. I imagine that since he was 19 and I was 20 when we started dating, perhaps his need to go explore "other things" has something to do with the break up.

 

He never gave me a reason - so I'm struggling with figuring out what went wrong and what self improvement steps I can take while on NC. (It's been very limited contact since I left NV on Nov. 5th and no direct contact for almost 2 weeks and NO CONTACT what so ever (checking things online) for 2 days)

 

Luckily for me, when he kicked me to the curb, it also meant kicking me back accross the country. So there is no chance that I might happen to run into him anytime soon.

 

As far as the stuff he wants back... do you have any trusted friends that would give him a box of stuff that you packed? That way you wouldn't have to see him. No contact means just that - NO CONTACT! It's for YOUR OWN GOOD! I know it's difficult - but you can do it... and when you do, you will start feeling better about yourself and you will begin the healing process.

 

Whatever you do, do NOT become a "booty call" - he's playing on your insecurities. Drop him like a bad habit and focus on YOU!!!!!!!!! You can do it!

[misshimalready]

thank you so much, i guess we are in similar situations. the problem here is that we hang out with the same group of people. i don't want to leave my friends because of the break up and i'm sure he feels the same. i'm too mature to do that. it's harder to breah up with friends, you usually share nothing other than good times. thank you for your great advise.

[sddeaston]

he just wants to do other girls, and if he has to date them to get them in bed then i guess he will. he's not a player, i was his first and only.. that's kinda why he wanted to break up too. we're only 23 been together for 5yrs

 

Were you planning on seeing him again?

 

If I heard that from some girl I had feelings for, I would probably not be interested anymore.

[need2bme]

Hon, if he loved you he wouldn't care about the size. He would want you healthy, but he is finding whatever reason he can.

 

You are both young. Hey, it hurts when you are my age too, but noone deserves to be treated poorly or to tell you they want to "do" other people.