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am i being unreasnable?


roxybaby

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hi everybody im new here so hello. ive got a problem i thought you guys could help me out my boyfriend bround me a really expensive t-shirt for christmas and left it at his brothers house. his brothers girlfriend didnt have anything to wear so she wore the top my boyfrind had brought me and ruined it because shes a size 12 and i am an 8. his brother and his girlfriend are saying they havn't got the money to pay for another one so my boyfriend is going to have to replace it himself he said he would (bearing in my me and my partner do not have much money ourselves). but i kicked up a fuss and i told him not to and they should pay for it, after an argument his brother,he agreed to pay but has fell out with us and i feel guilty because hes saying hes got to take some of their childrens xmas prezzies back to pay for it. making me feel guilty for asking them to pay for something they ruined thanks guys xx

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welcome to enotalone.

 

i think it's exceedingly rude that your bf's brother let his gf wear your GIFT. if she didn't have anything to wear, why didn't she just wear an old sweatshirt of his, not a new gift for you? your bf needs to talk to his brother about that, i don't know why she was allowed to wear a gift at all. why not give someone a box of half-eaten chocolates, or a half-used bottle of lotion, or a half-drunk bottle of wine? very rude.

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thanks guys its just my boyfriend lets people walk over him and ive never met the girl they are trying to say that i coming between him and his friends when all im trying to do is get him to stand up for himself this is the second person hes fell out with because of me and im just getting everything wrapped around my neck xx

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you are not being unreasonable at all.. That is one of the rudest things i've heard in a long time!!

 

What the heck does she mean she didn't have anything to wear? you mean if your shrit wasn't there she would have had to go topless?!?! Yea right.

 

Whatever.....she just liked it and wanted to wear it and then used that as an excuse!!!

 

I can't believe she would wear your shirt... to me that is unthinkable.. even if it was someone's OLD shirt, I can't believe she had the gall to put it on. Unbeleivable..

 

and then trying to put a guilt trip on you by saying 'now we have to take the children's presents back?" gimme a break. How old is the couple? Doesn't matter how old they are, it is ridiculously immature.

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thanks guys its just my boyfriend lets people walk over him and ive never met the girl they are trying to say that i coming between him and his friends when all im trying to do is get him to stand up for himself this is the second person hes fell out with because of me and im just getting everything wrapped around my neck xx

 

If he's that kind of person it's good if you're making him stand up for himself. You and he were well within reasonable bounds to request compensation. Don't feel guilty.

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Well, this is a stinky situation. The fact of the matter is that your boyfriend is the guy left feeling like crap. I'm sure you won't miss the shirt that much, but your boyfriend is probably feeling really guilty about the whole thing. If I were you I'd accept the gift as is and say nothing more about the whole fiasco. You can't force him to stand up for himself and you're certainly not doing any good getting between him and his brother.

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you are not being unreasonable at all.. That is one of the rudest things i've heard in a long time!!

 

What the heck does she mean she didn't have anything to wear? you mean if your shrit wasn't there she would have had to go topless?!?! Yea right.

 

Whatever.....she just liked it and wanted to wear it and then used that as an excuse!!!

 

I can't believe she would wear your shirt... to me that is unthinkable.. even if it was someone's OLD shirt, I can't believe she had the gall to put it on. Unbeleivable..

 

and then trying to put a guilt trip on you by saying 'now we have to take the children's presents back?" gimme a break. How old is the couple? Doesn't matter how old they are, it is ridiculously immature.

 

 

 

... and poor sighted if she thought she could fit into a size 8!!!

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She should replace the shirt, no questions or complaints. I understand that some peoples situations are different and they may not be able to buy you a replacement shirt right away (them saying that they will need to take the childrens gifts back), which could be the truth or a load of crap. Give her a little time to pay for a replacement shirt. Within reason of course! Im sure they will be receiving some type of money for Christmas......which will be perfect to be spent on your new shirt As for your bf, there are clearly some underlying issues with him and his brother if this has caused a problem between the two of them Some people are very passive and people who are aggressive will take full advantage of that. Anyways, it has to do with you and her. Not your bf and his brother.

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She should replace the shirt, no questions or complaints. I understand that some peoples situations are different and they may not be able to buy you a replacement shirt right away (them saying that they will need to take the childrens gifts back), which could be the truth or a load of crap. Give her a little time to pay for a replacement shirt. Within reason of course! Im sure they will be receiving some type of money for Christmas......which will be perfect to be spent on your new shirt As for your bf, there are clearly some underlying issues with him and his brother if this has caused a problem between the two of them Some people are very passive and people who are aggressive will take full advantage of that. Anyways, it has to do with you and her. Not your bf and his brother.

 

Hasn't she got a credit card!!???

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it's maybe something you should talk to your boyfriend about. now, i am a pretty agreeable person myself, but sometimes you have to stand up for yourself. there are times you let something slide, and other times not so much..... in the past, i wish i had been more enforcing about buying things like concert tickets, and then people never paying me back.... that was rude of them.

 

anyways, the bottom line is that your bf's brother and gf ruined your christmas gift, and they should replace it. it doesn't matter if the gift was a $5 box of chocolates or a designer t-shirt. don't borrow something you're not willing to replace.

 

and why would she even think of trying to squeeze her way into your shirt? sheesh.

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It's good that you are sticking with what you believe in even though your boyfriend doesn't want to upset them. Too many people try and make the girlfriend seem like the bad guy especially when they are friends with the boyfriend. Sometimes I think that the idea of a girlfriend has a stigma attached to it. It doesn't make you any less correct.

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I understand about the shirt. But there is a concern where you say this is the second time something similar has happened:

 

this is the second person hes fell out with because of me and im just getting everything wrapped around my neck xx

 

Obviously we don't know what happened the first time but I would be careful about falling out with people and expecting your boyfriend to intervene every time.

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