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Can't choose


littlegirl
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I currently have a boyfriend, whom I've been with for a long time now. I love him dearly, I really do, but over the past couple months he and I have been fighting quite a lot. And I just met my now best friend a couple months ago also. He has been there since the beginning making me feel better when ever the boyfriend made me feel bad. But even though he was always there to help me he never talked bad about my boyfriend, he just comforted me and told me everything would be ok. He is so perfect, he is exactly like me in practically every way, it's kind of scary. So now I've found myself wishing I were with him, I'm starting to feel more and more attached to him and I'm falling for him. At first I just loved him as a friend for being so great to me, but now its more. I admitted these feelings to him and he said that he feels the same way. I found that not only has he helped me a lot, but I guess I've also helped him a lot too. He was really depressed when I met him because of a recent breakup because his girlfriend was cheating on him, and he said that there is no one else that has made him happier than I have. And he also used to drink once in a while, but since he's met me, and he knows I dissapprove, he's stopped. I really want to give him a chance, but I can't since I'm with my boyfriend currently. I've tried to get the boyfriend to agree to taking a break for a while to work on our friendship, but he just makes me feel so bad for even suggesting it, and I really don't want to hurt him. But I don't know if I could go on in my life knowing that I passed up the chance to be with someone who could be the most perfect person for me. What should I do?

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This is a hard situation to be in. I am not really sure what to tell you. You need to be honest with both of them. As hard as it may be, you have to do what you feel is right for you. If you really feel that you should be with the other guy then that is what you should do. Breaking up with someone is hard to do, but you dont want to stay in a relationship b/c you feel sorry for them or b/c you dont want to hurt them. It may be difficult for you b/f if you break up with him, but it would only hurt worse if you waited longer. Before you make your decision, be sure that it is what you want to do. Weigh out your options and make sure that you dont just like your best friend b/c he has always 'been there for you'. Make sure that your feelings for him are true b/c you dont want to make a mistake and then regret your decision. My best advice is to do what is best for you. Be with the one that will make you the happiest. Just be honest with both of them!

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After reading your post the first thing that came to my mind was that a couple months ago you met your new best friend and then a couple months ago your boyfriend and you have started fighting. Are these connected in any way? If they are then your boyfriend is probably just jealous about your new friend. Time that used to be for him is now shared with your other guy friend and that would make any guy a little upset. As for taking a break with your boyfriend, if the only reason you want to take a break is so you can give "new friend" a chance then that's not very cool to your boyfriend. How would it feel if the tables were turned? What if he wanted to put you on hold so he could see how things might go with another girl? If you want to be with someone else then you're going to have to be completely honest with your boyfriend and break up with him. He should at least deserve that much respect from you. There was a time that I was in the same situation as you and I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years so I could see what it was like to be with a girl I had gotten really close too and as soon as I was with the other girl I really started to miss my new ex-girlfriend and now I'm with neither. If you do decide to go for "new Friend" then give it some time between the break up to make sure that you really want what you think you want.

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