shell80 Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 Hey everyone, Well today has been the most overwhelming, sad days I've experienced in a quite some time. It has been over 2 mths since I gave up hoping that he would speak to me again after just disappearing out of the blue, so I know that it hasn't been long. Combined with the holidays and everything else I shouldn't be surprised that I'm feeling so lousy. The confusing part though - and that has had me crying like a lost little school girl- is that my ex ex boyfriend has just met someone. We have been friends since the breakup, and talk on and off. I am not in love with him anymore - but hearing this news has struck a nerve and just made me feel even more alone and heartbroken. Has anyone experienced this before? He broke my heart August last year, my current ex September this year - both completely different guys, so maybe it just feels like one massive heartbreak rolled into one right now. Arghh...if only we could jump forward a year from now and be happy again. Link to comment
anggrace Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 It sounds like a pretty legit thing for you to feel sad right now. I've had a pretty rough evening myself. You can be over someone and yet still feel sad about the loss. It's not just the person you've let go of, but also the dreams and hopes you had for your future together. Sometimes that can be harder to let go of than the reality of what the realtionship had been. So Id suggest you replace those hopes with something else. Replace it with something that involves only YOU. Something that excites you. This has been helpfull for me anyways. We all need something to look forward to, right? -hugs Link to comment
glimmerofhope Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 Very well said. If you're like me, when you lost this other person, you have also completely lost the only vision of the future you have created for yourself. Because of this, I need to redevelop my expectations and goals for life from scratch--without this person in the picture. You may have to do the same, I guess. It's a monumental task, one I struggle with daily. But I am confident that it can be done. Hang in there. Link to comment
Aday5578 Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 hey it is almost a new Year and i do believe with a new year brings new beginnings....I know it isnt easy girl..we have the emails to prove it but you will be a bigger and better person and this will pass. You are on this road and most of the time you are just riding along with the top down and the music up loud, then sometimes it rains but all you have to do is put up the top, then you might run into bumps but if you keep driving you will find that smooth road again...just around this corner is that smoothe road...i see it for you...and dont forget to pick me up so we can go to that bar we talked about!!!!! Link to comment
HajiMaji Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 Arghh...if only we could jump forward a year from now and be happy again. I'm with you on that. But I wanted to say its normal for you to feel sad with the new news. Even though the ex you arent hung up on him, there are always things that can trigger us to feel sad. Feeling lonley is a big part of this process, and I think given your situation it is normal to feel down about it all. Brave through this all as best you can for the next few days. Time has a way of working things out. Obviously in a year we will be sitting pretty, but also in a few weeks you may be out of this current funk. Ya may still have healing to do, but in a few weeks time you may be a little easier to deal. (Well, maybe not in a few weeks because its the holidays. You get my point though. Personally, Im getting ready to buckle down for the holidays incase I get some emotional snow storms. Ive got my canned food all ready.) Link to comment
shell80 Posted December 4, 2007 Author Share Posted December 4, 2007 Cheers everyone... Helps a lot, and it makes me smile thinking about all the brilliant people on this forum and from all over the world. We could have our very own little United Nations! You are right - having plans and something big to look forward to is a must. Right now I'm in the interim period - just finished my post grad, livign at home with the parents and applying for jobs. I have an interview on Friday so hopefully I'll be able to move and start fresh again soon. Maybe we should all have a year from now ENA reunion section.... I am sure that we will all be happy and content and actually looking forward to the holidays instead of dreading them.... Link to comment
bridgid8 Posted December 4, 2007 Share Posted December 4, 2007 He broke my heart August last year, my current ex September this year - both completely different guys, so maybe it just feels like one massive heartbreak rolled into one right now. Sometimes we tend to feel things previous experiences all over again when we experience loss. My therapist has a quote she likes and that I find rings true for me- I think it is "Every second has two moments". I think it is totally natural and thinking about the ex-ex takes your mind off the pain of the most recent ex. It is a bumpy road, but hopefully we will all come to the other side of it (sooner than later, I hope) and be stronger and wiser. Take care and I hope today is a better one for you. Link to comment
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