Jump to content

When will this pain go away?!

Recommended Posts

It's been 3 months since my breakup, and going on 2 months of nc. I'm seeing a new girl now that I really like. And still I wake up each morning thinking about my ex.


She's on my mind all day long, it's ridiculous. We had plans to spend our lives together. I was going to move with her to another state so she'd be happier and ask her to marry me after we were stable.


The last few days it seems like all the progress I've made with nc has come crashing back down.


My facebook now says that I'm with the new girl. Which means my ex knows I'm seeing other people now. It makes the breakup so final. Arghh, I can't stand this. This knot in my stomach won't go away! And I feel guilty for feeling this way because I'm dating someone else who I really like. But I feel like I need to start dating sometime because these feelings might never go away completely until I fall in love again.


How long does it take to stop thinking about someone all the time? It seems like these thoughts should be subsiding after 2 months of nc but it's almost as if nothing has changed. The initial shock and agony of the breakup is over but there is still that longing for my ex that I can't seem to shake. Especially when I'm alone.

Link to comment

These feelings do fade out with time, but you cannot forcefully eliminate them. For now you have to accept that you have experienced a loss and that it is natural to feel the way you feel. If you have a hard time accepting that it might take a long time, than just accept the fact that you don't accept that it will take a long time. Don't fight the pain. Accept it and you will see that you will feel more peaceful. In general, I believe that these feelings will only COMPLETELY disappear when you fall in love with someone else. It might be the new person you are dating now or someone you haven't met yet. Again, only time will tell.


Finally, although you don't have control over your emotions, you do have control over your thoughts. When you THINK of your ex, you FEEL sad because your ex is now a sad memory. You may be asking, but how do I stop thinking about my ex? Well, by staying busy, taking good care of yourself, and doing the things you enjoy. When your ex pops in your mind, be aware that this is happening by watching your mind and know that it is temporary. It is IMPOSSIBLE to think 24 hours straight about the same thing. There has to be a period of time (even if it is short) that you don't think about your ex. With time, these intervals will become longer and the thoughts will affect you less.


Hang in there. You will get over this for SURE.



Link to comment

Check this out...short and to the point:

"The Best Part Of Waking Up."


If you ever really take the time to think about all that is right in your life, even when you reach a "milestone" of 45 as I was blessed to do so on (12/2) you come to peace with certain events and people in your life - right or wrong - good or bad...all of the experiences (you can't unring a bell) and reflect ...grin and say: "All is as it should be. It is Gods will, not mine and I am blessed."

So, the best part of waking up is knowing that you have been blessed with the chance to make right your transgressions. Bring a smile to someone's face. Forgive your coworker for leaving the coffee pot empty and tell the person that you love (show love to or loves you) that "it's gonna be alright - today. We are gonna be alright when we get past this together." "Let's be alright today."



k/d/morris - link removed (NO1GR8r)

Link to comment

"When will this pain go away?!"


While it's only been about a week for me since she pulled the rug out from under me, I can't help ask this question to myself either. Think about her all the time, but sometimes there are these "flashes" of emotion I get, and I need to get up, walk around, throw cold water on my face, etc. It's when something, whether it's out of the blue or I hear/see something that triggers a memory, gets me to remember a small, specific little instant with her at some point over those years. It could've been as something as small as snuggling up and watching a DVD, or walking along a pier, or just a few words she said on the phone a while back, or something I said that made her laugh. Etc.


Then the sudden realization that I will probably never see her again. As if she went "poof" and her existence vanished into thin air.


It's just so agonizing. And with the weather constantly cold and dark, as well as Christmas/NYE coming up, I know (like many of us here) I'm really entering an internal battle.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...