Ex gets his belongings today

[just M.E.]

For those of you who don't know the messy detail, 9 yr relationship, 7 of which were married, ex left 5/31 ...

 

He's coming to get his belongings today, I know I am trolling for support, it will be a tough day. With luck I will not have to interact with him, all his belongings are in a garage about 200' from the house.

 

This whole process should have been simple, he is the dumper and he is the one with anger, and I am the one who insists on NC.

 

Send me some strength so I don't get too anxious, I didn't sleep well last night. I don't have lingering feeling of caring, he pretty much killed that in the last months of the marriage and how he acted when he left, but I am intimidated by his rages. No that I am away from that, I so do not want to experience all that drama and conflict again.

[BetterKarma]

If you can, don't be at the house when he comes over to pick up his stuff. Instead have a friend be there in your place and go out with friends for that day.

[Zackinlaw]

That's perfect advice, BetterKarma.

 

JustM.E. ... why subject yourself to the risk of pain and a setback? If you trust him not to plunder your stuff, why not just disappear for the day? Check into a nice hotel with a spa. If you have kids, ship them off to grandma's house. Make it a day just for you.

[just M.E.]

I have to be here but the garage is about 200' away from the house and I have a friend coming sometime to be here. This will be a 2-3 day process and may go into another weekend, this has been arranged through lawyers and he has been told NC. It wouldn't be fair to put the responsibility totally on a friend, if he behaves badly - 911

 

You can accumulate a lot of c**p in 9 yrs, some of it from his previous marriage he never unpacked.

 

He is filled with anger, very strange man he has become, but alcoholism can change anyone, sad but good to be out of it.

 

Thanks for the support just need to reach out right now,

[just M.E.]

Zackinlaw, I trust him as far as I can throw a gorilla, that's why the friend will be here, I don't have a normal neighborhood house, I live on 40 acres in the mountains, I don't want him going through my property.

 

The friend is a good guy and him being 6'8" and some 270 lbs of muscle is really nice as my ex is 5'9", I am not above using intimidation on my part. My friend is really calm, as a lot of big guys like that are.

 

I will stay inside and he is not to approach the house, I know I will be so relieved when this is over.

[Clabs]

Hey just M.E.

 

It sounds like you have taken your own advice and what good advice it is! Your ex won't pull any stunts with your friend being there - the size he is. It will be very very hard, but things are coming to an end and you will feel such relief when his stuff is gon.

 

Take care of yourself and I hope it goes well for you.

 

Mark

[just M.E.]

Thanks Mark,

This is an ugly time because of him getting his stuff and worries of altercations, but boy, when his stuff is gone ...WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!

 

Now if I could only get some progress to wards divorce!!! This is his way of remaining in control and power, what a Richard (I can at least call him that on here, right?)

[Clabs]

Hey just M.E.

 

I don't think he will be stupid enough to start anything. Just make sure you keep out of the way and let your friend handle this for you. He does by the way sound like a wonderful friend indeed!

 

Don't worry about the divorce for now - get his stuff outta there and celebrate that big step. Yeah - Richard works - haha!

 

Mark

[sandyv]

Just M.E. Hi Sandy here, haven't talked in awhile.

 

I'm glad things are finally coming together with him moving along hopefully.

 

I can't add much to what those have said above me except to say you are a very strong lady, you will be just fine.....

 

I'll be thinking of you, let us know how it goes...

 

xxx

 

Sandy

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It sounds like you have everything under control. At least you have the friend coming over so there is a feeling of security. Good luck.

[Desiderata]

M.E., I know how hard it will be today to even know that he is going to be anywhere near you. We've talked in the past about how controlling both of our ex's have been and how it's a shame that we could allow ourselves to be put through that. You can get through this, even if the process of him getting his things takes a few days. Keep yourself busy, go take another dance class! You are queen of your mountain remember? I

[just M.E.]

Wow, thank you so much everyone, my friend will be here soon and all is good, you guys are so great!!!! This really has become my community that I look forward to being in contact with.

 

Oh Desi, you would laugh so watching me in dance class, tights and leotard and all, how funny it is. Twinkle toes Have fun in NYC, I have a cousin who live there, but she is just a little older than you (my uncle married late in life), but I have never been.

 

Thanks Mark, thanks Sandy, my thoughts are with you often, I hope you are hanging in there OK, and thanks crazyaboutdogs, if you user name is true, you have nothing on me, I have 5 and I am getting a red heeler puppy next week to replace my old blue heeler I lost this summer. With a puppy, you really can buy love.

 

Love and thanks to everyone!!!!

[just M.E.]

He's here, he brought the new g/f and her son, that's just wrong

[Clabs]

Crikey just M.E. - you sure do have yourself a pack there! I know they are a great comfort to you - and that is fantastic that you are getting a new puppy next week - I bet you cannot wait!

 

Mark

[just M.E.]

No Clabs, I wasn't clear, it is my ex how brought his new g/f and her son ... f***ing field trip I guess. This is my territory, tacky to bring her along, to my home.

 

Almost over, he has 1.5 more hours he can be here, then tomorrow?

 

My pal and his son were both here most of the day, it helped. we BS'd and told stories all day.

[Beginningandend]

Brought the gf along? That's in poor taste. Still I hope she knows what she could be in store for otherwise I'd pity her.

 

Not much time left but I hope today concludes without issue, then you can hopefully get the good nights sleep you didn't get last night.

[need2bme]

Hey, I can remember going to pick my stuff up from the long term ex that first brought me here. It wasn't fun going through all the memories and packing up my life and watching it all roll away in a truck.

 

You will get through this. You sound like you are doing a great job of it.

[just M.E.]

All done for today!!!! Yeah, now we will see if there is a tomorrow needed. Thanks so much for the support, some things just can never be easy.

[EricAK]

He is an A&&HOLE! Have someone there ME! And you can call me anytime you need!

 

Stay strong.

 

Eric

[Wandering_Sword]

Sheesh, he's a winner. That is just plain uncool to bring a new girlfriend by. You should have rigged landmines around the garage.

[Optigan]

Oh for the love of... How pathetic that is. Can't help suspecting that this guy feels so very inferior.

 

I mean, it sure was not pleasant for you to have him, this woman, and her son, but for crying out loud, how pathetic is that of him? A bad case of trying to prove something and actually pretty much failing miserably and proving just the opposite.

 

Reminds me of a joke I like,

 

A girl gets a new bracelet and goes to school all excited about it, expecting to be complimented.

 

However, one class passes, two classes pass, nobody seems to give a flying darn about her bracelet.

 

Fourth class, still nothing. Exasperated, the girl stands up in the middle of the class and says loudly

 

"My oh my is it hot in here! I have to take off this bracelet!"

 

Something like that, but about 500 times more pathetic.

 

Just shrug, laugh perhaps, and go on with your life.

 

And oh yes, another point: how pathetic must she be - if she is indeed his girlfriend, not a friend, acquaintance or someone he hired to play the part! I mean, would any of you girls agree if your boyfriend was like, hey, I'm going to my ex's place to pick up my stuff, come with me, I mean what in the world!?

 

*shrug*

[HajiMaji]

Ugh... Thats rough. I would say this is another reason to help you know he is no good, but you really dont need anymore of those do you?

 

Keep it up. I cant wait until all this is done and some time passes. It will be so good.

[Jess...]

I'm sorry ME, I missed the action while he was there - but what a bonehead bringing his new gf and her son! Trying to rub it in much? That's something MY ex would do!

 

I am thinking of you, and I hope next time goes better. You're doing great!

[just M.E.]

Oh goody, I get to do it again today I think, but today, my big friend is not available, I have company coming by, social visits but just for a short period of time.

 

I'm a big girl, all grown up, I'll just have to figure it out.

 

Even though there is not lingering affection for the ex, this has felt like it threw me back in healing, opened the wound, so to speak. It will go away when he does.

 

Dis I mention I have this fantasy about him being abducted by aliens and never returned to earth? Or maybe it is more like he is taken from Earth and returned to his home planet

[Clabs]

Hey just M.E.

 

Sorry - our posts crossed in the ether. Gawd - he brough his girlfriend?! This guy is just sooo awful that I suppose you shouldn't be surprised that he pulls duff stunt after duff stunt.

 

Hang in there honey - this chapter will soon be over and you can relax a little.

 

Mark