Does sex change the relationship?

[winchester3]

How much does having sex change your relationship? I like things the way they are but would like to physically express my love to my girl. We've talked about it and her greatest fear is pregnancy, other then that it's only a matter of time.

 

Does anyone have any experiences with this?

[JeckyllNHyde]

Sex in a relationship to me equals more trust. It's something personal I wouldn't share with just anyone. I'm guessing you both are virgins so maybe it will be even more of a big deal.

It usually brings you too closer/stronger bond b/c you get "to know" each other even more intimately. Something also about being naked together and doing all those intimate things.

 

Sex just makes it harder to separate love feelings in most peoples cases.

basically it will probably intensify your feelings for each other even more IMHO.

[renaissancewoman101]

Sex makes you get more attached to a person, at least in my case.

 

thereforeeee, one should be pretty sure how the other person feels about you and your relationship, before you have sex with them.

 

Sex causes people to bond emotionally, no matter how much they say it doesn't.

[toshiba]

Of course it changes things! I'll at least give you a woman's perspective anyway....

 

It will increase the feelings of possessiveness or jealousy. For instance, after a woman sleeps with a guy, if she see's him being flirty with another girl, it has way more of an impact than it would have if she hadn't slept with him.

 

For most women to sleep with a guy, they have to trust him. Think about it....she can end up pregnant from it, so it's in her best interest to have trust in someone that she puts herself at risk for.

 

Trusting requires vulnerability....so a woman sleeping with a man makes herself more vulnerable. She's vulnerable to pregnancy with the potential of being abandoned. She's vulnerable to diseases. Due to our cultural beliefs about women, she's also vulnerable to having her reputation diminished. Being more emotional of the sexes, she's vulnerable to getting hurt...from the possibility of thinking that it was based on love and finding out that it was just an act of lust.

 

So vulnerability, trust, possessivness.....yes, sex changes things. At least from a woman's perspective, it does.

[Konfetkette]

It changes things for the better! You sound like you guys are doing great so I doubt it would change for the worse

[fivespot]

There's huge emotional stuff that comes along with it. Yes, it is the greatest way to express physical love to someone. But when one person is in love and the other isn't, and there's sex, that's when huge problems can arise.

 

That's the main reason why society has norms and laws surrounding it. It's meant for adults because you really have to be ready for all the risks, including the emtional ones. And this aspect of sex might surprise you, because sometimes feelings will begin to pop up that you never could have imagined you'd be experiencing. In my opinion, that's what losing your virginity is all about. It's not the physical, it's the psychological.

 

Along with all the other risks, like STDs and pregnancy, the emotional one is something they really don't talk about in sex ed classes...at least they didn't in mine. It's something you have to experience.

 

Just, as others have said, make sure you're REALLY ready. Yes, you may get your heart broken down the road, but that's just another risk that comes with the territory. Then again, what is life without risks, anyway?

[winchester3]

We've been going out for a year as of next Saturday, check this for details if you wish.

We have a lot of trust in each other, from what she's told me she's never opened up to anyone like she has to me, not even her best friend, sister or mom. So if were ready for sex, when things change it would be better, rather then get bad?

[WaterIsLife]

I believe sex does change a relationship. It signifies trust and brings you to another level of intimacy to share something like that.

[anggrace]

I don't think it's a matter of sex vs no sex changing the relationship. I think it has more to do with if the both of you feel satisfied intimatly. Sex can ruin a relationship and sex can greatly improve a relationship, thats why I don't think it's so simple. Whats most important is being able to feel close with your partner. If sex does that for you, than yes, sex IS important.

 

Speaking more personally, I think good sex can do wonders for a relationship/bond.

[winchester3]

How much merit does good or bad sex hold? Don't really know what to expect here

[winchester3]

Anyone have any advice on this? Because i would rather have an amazing relationship without sex then a bad one with sex.

[winchester3]

Actually never mind, that's something I'm going to have to find out for myself. Thanks for all your input.